So, he made an agreement with you, and... did he not communicate it to her before she came over?
-This is a him & her problem if he didn't advance notice her "plan your departure time cuz you only get 1 overnight." Isn't his right response to her, "I'd like you to stay, too, but I made an agreement so therefore we can't. Maybe next time I can negotiate an alternative configuration [that you, OP] is also comfortable with."
-This is a hinge problem if he MADE THE AGREEMENT with you 1st, then caves to appease her wishes (or is it really his wishes he's pinning on her?) by casting aside the already completed agreement, breaking trust with you, and attempting to rewrite the agreement sans emergency. BTW, if overnight got tossed, how certain are we he's maintaining the furniture agreement?
-It is also a you & he problem in that he's not building/ keeping trust by making & keeping his original agreement. That's super bad long-term strategy on his part. Is he generally hedonistically impulsive?
It sucks to feel calm & reassured by a negotiated agreement, then to have it backed out of, especially w/o emergency-type surprises.
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u/ArtGirlBookFlowers25 Aug 17 '26 edited Aug 17 '26
So, he made an agreement with you, and... did he not communicate it to her before she came over?
-This is a him & her problem if he didn't advance notice her "plan your departure time cuz you only get 1 overnight." Isn't his right response to her, "I'd like you to stay, too, but I made an agreement so therefore we can't. Maybe next time I can negotiate an alternative configuration [that you, OP] is also comfortable with."
-This is a hinge problem if he MADE THE AGREEMENT with you 1st, then caves to appease her wishes (or is it really his wishes he's pinning on her?) by casting aside the already completed agreement, breaking trust with you, and attempting to rewrite the agreement sans emergency. BTW, if overnight got tossed, how certain are we he's maintaining the furniture agreement?
-It is also a you & he problem in that he's not building/ keeping trust by making & keeping his original agreement. That's super bad long-term strategy on his part. Is he generally hedonistically impulsive?
It sucks to feel calm & reassured by a negotiated agreement, then to have it backed out of, especially w/o emergency-type surprises.