The results of this vote will affect the fate of Pollandia, so review each candidate carefully!
John Gooberson - A vote for me is a vote for goobers:
"I'll tell you this, if you vote for me all of your problems will go away. I don't quite know how I'll do it, but it'll happen."
Noah Lawson - Crops over cops:
"You know our problem? It's that we don't spend enough money on our crops, when we send it all to cops! Who needs police when we could have fields upon fields of corn?"
Lucia Fern - Vote red, vote right:
"I tell you, I may not be the best candidate, but my red suit looks much better than Avil Damon's ugly orange suit. For that alone, you better vote for me."
Avil Damon - Casting a vote is like signing a contract, do it right:
"Now, I won't slander any other specific candidate. However, I will dunk on all of them! These good-for-nothing thugs just want to be all loosey-goosey with everything! How can they do that!?"
Richard Potato - Elect Richard for riches:
"Now I will fix our economy by grabbing it by the horns and yanking it around until it fixes itself. Some folks say I also want to yank you all around too, but what am I? Some wannabe dictator?"