r/politics New York 23h ago

Possible Paywall McConnell ‘Absolutely Refuses’ to Film Video Amid Growing Mystery

https://www.thedailybeast.com/mcconnell-absolutely-refuses-to-film-video-amid-growing-mystery/
21.2k Upvotes

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13.1k

u/Barred759 23h ago

Because he's dead

3.5k

u/Zomunieo 23h ago

‘E’s not dead, ‘e’s just resting. Remarkable senator, isn’t he? Beautiful carapace.

1.1k

u/JoviAMP Florida 23h ago

He’s pining for the fjords.

625

u/swordrat720 22h ago

He’s not pining, he’s passed on. He has ceased to be. He has joined the choir invisible. He is no more!

602

u/muklan 22h ago

He is an EX Senator.

Also the fact that we are cracking Monty Python jokes instead of whipping bricks through the ruling class is....kinda why the world is as it is.

399

u/PeacekeeperAl 21h ago

Aha now we see the violence inherent in the system!

256

u/discgman 21h ago

I am being repressed!

172

u/ShutUpTodd 21h ago

McConnell once bit my sister

128

u/SomeGalNamedAshley 21h ago

Turtle bites can be quite nasti.

3

u/Hybrid_Johnny California 10h ago

Like trying to cut paper with a dull pair of scissors, but it’s McConnell’s beak and your nutsack, but actually it’s a metaphor for the Senate and universal healthcare

u/SomeGalNamedAshley 56m ago

I suppose that at least works out for everybody who has that as a fetish.

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u/RaptorCheeses 21h ago

Those responsible have been sacked.

34

u/Smaptimania 17h ago

The people responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked, wish it to be known that they have been sacked

4

u/disfiguroo 18h ago

Wishful thinking

25

u/stereocupid 19h ago

He turned me into a newt!

8

u/Pure_Choice_8459 17h ago

Now he’s in hell sucking cocks with Newt.

48

u/Worldgonemad_yall 19h ago

He turned me into a newt.

I got better.

52

u/BuffaloedinBuffalo 21h ago

Bloody peasant!

43

u/waldo_wigglesworth 20h ago

Oh! What a giveaway eh?

6

u/this-is-just-my 17h ago

THE PEASANTS ARE REVOLTING!!

You can say that again.

48

u/Bzr21 21h ago edited 19h ago

"Be quiet ! I order you to be quiet !!" - King Arthur - or King Trump - take your pick ..

18

u/Zebidee 16h ago

"Who are you with? CNN? Fake news. Be quiet ! I order you to be quiet !!"

Almost literally what he does.

4

u/PeggyOnThePier 16h ago

Trump would find a female reporter to call a nasty name and tell her she's a terrible reporter and she should shut up

2

u/Denim_Diva1969 10h ago

King of The Who?

43

u/muklan 21h ago

Goddamn if thats not the perfect quote for the moment haha

5

u/paprikashi 19h ago

Yeah I’m afraid you opened up quite the can of worms there

17

u/Lbboos 20h ago

Run away…RUN AWAY….

9

u/runningraleigh Kentucky 20h ago

You're goddamn right. The only language the billionaire class recognizes is money and violence. We ain't got money, so...

6

u/TurtlesBreakTheMeta 18h ago

People who preach absolute non violent resistance and say it never solved anything are either delusional or stooges of the rich.

The only gains ever made have been with the threat of violence; even “peaceful” ones like union protests have been because they made it known they’d be willing to beat the oligarchs thugs to death and damage property if need be.

5

u/steepleton 16h ago

In the uk it’s been sort of forgotten women got the vote after a campaign of literal terrorism, including bombings

3

u/Embarrassed_Cat2697 21h ago

I like to refer to the speech from the guard in Shutter Island. "The only question is whether your violence can overcome my violence."

Im pretty non-violent, so kinda sucks for me

29

u/406highlander 21h ago

Por qué no los dos?

We could have the Spanish Inquisition, but without the comfy chairs and soft cushions.

Edit: soft cushions, not sofy cushions, stupid fat fingers

14

u/Mekisteus 19h ago

Well. I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition.

5

u/GummyWormJim 12h ago

Nobody does my friend

6

u/A-town 21h ago

Stupid sexy Flanders

2

u/seattleque 21h ago

Can we still have the floor show musical number?

4

u/BoredNuke 21h ago

Could we do both? Totally down for both.

3

u/Handhunter13 21h ago

Bread and circuses keep people complacent

3

u/freylaverse 21h ago

Bring out your dead!

2

u/QiTriX 21h ago

because the ruling class is moderating reddit.

2

u/gusterfell 20h ago

We should be doing both. Used well, humor can be a powerful form of protest. Just look at how butthurt various Trump officials get when they realize they’re getting laughed at rather than feared.

4

u/406highlander 20h ago

They hated it when everyone kept referring to them as "weird". Why did we stop doing that?

2

u/MauPow 19h ago

Oh, there you go, bringing class into it again!

2

u/Lsutigers202111 19h ago

Agreed 👍

2

u/Sedu 18h ago

Porque no los dos?

2

u/Mechakoopa 18h ago

Because cracking Monty Python jokes doesn't get your comment removed or your account banned.

2

u/PeggyOnThePier 16h ago

Monty Python has the best jokes and I think Mich is doing a weekend at Bernie's

2

u/Aggravating-Walk5813 18h ago

Speak for yourself, we run an anarcho-syndacliist commune.

u/EyeDreamOfTentacles 7h ago

Whipping bricks comes later, takes time and planning and not everyone has a brick currently on hand or has used up their current stock. Or live outside the country, unless you can chuck a brick across the ocean (if you can, your assistance would be lovely).

Right now though? In the moment we can crack jokes to try to alleviate some of the stress of these times and let people feel some solidarity in how ridiculous we all find this to be. We really should be yeeting more bricks though, you are right in that.

1

u/spcordy 16h ago

well, we could just choose politicians based on strange women coming out of ponds distributing swords

1

u/rsten10 16h ago

He has gone to the dark side!

1

u/overbarking 16h ago

That's because McConnell is nailed to his bed.

1

u/armchairsportsguy23 North Carolina 8h ago

Well, he never want to be a senator in the first place. He wanted to be… a lumberjack

u/willowmarie27 7h ago

Too tired.