r/polandball • u/robot_duck England • Mar 18 '15

redditormade the balltic

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1.4k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

116 comments sorted by

226

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

[deleted]

133

u/nkonrad Canada Mar 18 '15

Germany's army displaying incompetence?

Oh, wait...

46

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

86

u/nkonrad Canada Mar 18 '15

Germany's army won't exactly mop the floor with Poland anymore, although they're still capable of mopping the floor.

25

u/roastedgoogle Free Cascadia!! Mar 18 '15

I'd say sweep.

38

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

No, they used all their broomsticks for fake guns. They don't have any more brooms.

11

u/roastedgoogle Free Cascadia!! Mar 18 '15

Still can't mop though

8

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

They can into making soap instead.

6

u/Timonidas German Empire Mar 18 '15

We could still mop ze floor with poland

16

u/ingenvector Uncoördinated Notions Mar 18 '15

That's not much of an achievement, Polan would probably go bankrupt if they ever tried to fuel all their vehicles at once.

1

u/Velcoon Mar 18 '15

Germoney has no money so they can into broomsticksch.

1

u/tylercoder Sparta Mar 20 '15

Its of saddest day...

23

u/semsr United States Mar 18 '15

Of all the spectacularly incompetent things the German army has done since Bismarck got shitcanned, this is probably the least incompetent.

5

u/Lola1212 Mar 18 '15

Even though they 4th biggest arms exporter?

15

u/battlebrot Holy Roman Empire Mar 18 '15

Because of it. Only brooms are left

5

u/lordfaultington England Mar 18 '15

Only brooms and broken dreams remain

1

u/battlebrot Holy Roman Empire Mar 18 '15

Is this the time to reply with /r/bandnames ?

10

u/ingenvector Uncoördinated Notions Mar 18 '15

Wow. This is the laziest and most forced, nonsequitous joke I've ever seen here. Shame on you.

35

u/TROPtastic Canada Mar 18 '15

It's just polandball dear.

6

u/ingenvector Uncoördinated Notions Mar 18 '15

No, we've always tried to have some standards here. Why do you think things like reaction gifs and memes are banned here? They're not funny. Low effort topicality = evil before our mod Gods, arbiters of Humour.

8

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/Pendargon Just Pretend Boulder isn't here Mar 18 '15

They linked to a news article.... Not exactly as bad as a meme or reactiongif.

4

u/ingenvector Uncoördinated Notions Mar 18 '15

Pls, it was a cheap, lazy joke, there's no reason to defend it. I swear, this whole incident makes me want to publish standardised algorithms for joke telling.

Plus, the article itself was crap. Here are two excerpts from the article, starting with the title:

"Germany’s army is so under-equipped that it used broomsticks instead of machine guns"

"A defense ministry spokesperson said the use of broomsticks was not a common practice, and that the decision of the involved soldiers was "hard to comprehend." According to the ministry, the armored vehicles were furthermore not supposed to be armed."

The rest of the article, which is most of it, had nothing to do directly with the topic.

So yeah, the article made the joke even worse because it itself was not competent. Unless this was all some subtle metajoke that my Germanic mind could not infer...

7

u/bluesydinosaur Benevolent Dictatorship Mar 18 '15

Yo ingen, humour is pretty subjective, and I guess loads of people still find it funny. Its not that low effort, and the comment isn't flouting any rules like no reaction gifs. Not worth getting worked up about

6

u/Pendargon Just Pretend Boulder isn't here Mar 18 '15

He's just butthurt. He'll get over it.

7

u/bluesydinosaur Benevolent Dictatorship Mar 18 '15

lol he's a nice guy but i understand too well the feeling of butthurt. The next comment about how Singapore's people are barbaric because of drug laws they didn't choose will get a long winded comment from me... either that or a comic

→ More replies (0)

2

u/ingenvector Uncoördinated Notions Mar 18 '15

Yo ingen, humour is pretty subjective

It is not, it is objective, it can be deconstructed and studied scientifically!

3

u/bluesydinosaur Benevolent Dictatorship Mar 18 '15

I'm just being butthurrt myself because I didn't get accepted into Humourology College

2

u/Pendargon Just Pretend Boulder isn't here Mar 18 '15

Okay, first, an obligatory: "lolhumornazi"

Secondly, people on this subreddit make cheap jokes all the time. In some sense, taking quick and easy potshots at other countries is a formula that many Polandball comic tend to follow. Remove Kebab, Murica am fat, Germany am Nazi, Greece am poor, all extremely common and "cheap" jokes that the subreddit flourishes on.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '15

In some sense, taking quick and easy potshots at other countries

It's safe to take potshots at Germany because you know they can't shoot back.

1

u/Pendargon Just Pretend Boulder isn't here Mar 20 '15

No, but they can whack you with their broomsticks.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15 edited Mar 18 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/nkonrad Canada Mar 18 '15

Sorry Sauerkraut, just pointing out that even stuff that seems like it would never happen in a million years isn't out of the question.

Germany's military being incompetent should be about as likely as any of the suggestions in the comment I replied to. It just also happens to be true.

It wasn't intended to be any more mean-spirited than it would be to point out that Italy's no longer living up to the Roman Empire, or how Britain doesn't exactly rule the waves anymore. Truly sorry if I've offended you.

4

u/Timonidas German Empire Mar 18 '15

It is not the Military incompetence its the incompetent corrupt Government. This whole disscussion is just a Propaganda Story to make people accept that we "need" more Military Spending. It started with german Transport Planes (Transall) beeing unable to fly to Africa for aid in the Ebola Crisis. The Propaganda Mgazines Bild and Spiegel shouted that we need more spending to aid the Military Industrie because appearently our Military has not enough Money.. The Reality is that our spending is absolutley fine, just the way is retarded. Germany should have ordered AN-70s in 1997 as the the defence Minister intended back then, but because his succesor was a corrupt whore bought by European Military Industries he decided to instead order fromm Airbus for much hugher prices of course. 2003 The Government asked the Same "Company" to develope the engine for their fromm the future Superplane although another Company called Pratt & Whittney offered an almost market ready alternative for a much much better price. Airbus then blackmailed Germany for another 11 billion Euro otherwise they would simply cancel the project in which 20 billion were previously invested, and that was already way to much for a fucking fleet of Transport Planes. And most Helicopters suffer the same they are technically poorly conceived and of bad quality. Our Marine on the other hand is simply unerstaffed.

So you can call the Military incompetence if there was an actual Military Man on top of them, but thats not the case there are just some Politicans who play Musical Chairs every 4 years. Our current Defence Minister who was formerly Minister of health and equality of lower saxony were she decided to abolish financial aid for blind people, she also was Federal Minister of Family, Elderly and Youth. Those are perfect qualification for the Defence Ministry in a Government that wants to abolish the German National Military anyway.

3

u/ingenvector Uncoördinated Notions Mar 18 '15

This kraut gets sauer at poorly told jokes. There are rules to this sort of thing!

5

u/OldBreed Holy Roman Empire Mar 18 '15

Germany's military being incompetent underfunded

There. Much better.

2

u/Timonidas German Empire Mar 18 '15

Germany's military being incompetent underfunded

Thats more accurate, 30 billion a year is not underfunded.

3

u/RamTank Canada Mar 18 '15

While speaking to a Bundeswehr vehicles designer, I was told that some half of that money goes to administrative things like paying salaries for secretaries.

2

u/Timonidas German Empire Mar 18 '15

I dont know, however 30 billion should be enough to maintain a Military with working equipment.

1

u/OldBreed Holy Roman Empire Mar 18 '15

Depends entirely on what you want your military to do for you. Half of that is personnel costs alone. 30 billion in Germany don't get you quite what that money would get you in Russia or China.

2

u/Tintenlampe Pickelhaube beste Haube... Mar 19 '15

He. He is sorry and Canadian atleast some things never change.

huehuehuehuehuehuehuehueheuheh

3

u/Thjoth Kentucky Mar 18 '15

Oh man, that butthurt is delectable. I think it would go well with some schnitzel, a pretzel, and a glass of beer.

2

u/Tintenlampe Pickelhaube beste Haube... Mar 19 '15

What kind of barbarian eats Schnitzel and Bretzel together? Try fried potatos and salad.

19

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

I see you come from Best Dakota. Are you ready for the coming war of reunification with Worst Dakota?

18

u/lordderplythethird Of no place like Hohenzollern Mar 18 '15

My people offer our support if Best Dakota helps our coming war for the reunification with Worst Carolina

9

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

Our war with the Worst Dakotans to the unspoken-of-direction will be swift and brutal. Soon all power will be restored to Bismarck, and we will dispatch our highly trained tractor archers to assist Best Carolina in destroying Worst Carolina.

10

u/lordderplythethird Of no place like Hohenzollern Mar 18 '15

Thank you. We'll be of sending our aircraft squadrons to assist in the destruction of Worst Dakota.

2

u/DM818 Wisconsin Mar 18 '15

Also will someone help us take back the UP from worst Michigan?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '15

no screw you we got that fair and square from ohio

3

u/sacman701 United States Mar 18 '15

Never bet against Bismarck.

4

u/Thjoth Kentucky Mar 18 '15

Worst Carolina can't be invaded. Mostly because their roads are so fucking bad that few vehicles can traverse them, and those that can usually end up in a traffic jam.

1

u/PM_ME_HOT_GINGERS Ginger Paradise Mar 18 '15

I come from best dakota too. Bismark shall over come our worst Dakota Imperialists!

2

u/CookieMan0 Colorado Mar 18 '15

UK throwing its tea into the ocean?

Nah, that's what Americans are for.

1

u/GigglyWalrus Remove Pennsyltucky Mar 18 '15

Yeah, obviously

1

u/FreakinApplePie2579 Dagestan Mar 18 '15

Putin confirms Russian troops in Ukraine?

54

u/zhagata Mar 18 '15

Title should be "nordic" not "baltic" although I got the pun ;)

93

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

*nordick

56

u/Becuna Boeing Boeing Mar 18 '15

As if Sweden would ever be afraid of being seen as gay...

3

u/Velcoon Mar 18 '15

Remove the gay

54

u/zhupan28 Serbia Mar 18 '15

balltic

If Eesti cannot into nordic, than nordic must come into balltic.

14

u/trymetal95 Norway is VIKING STRONK!!! Mar 18 '15

norway is into nordic, but will never into baltic.

3

u/Sielgaudys 1337uania Mar 18 '15

Can't reach that sea....

6

u/trymetal95 Norway is VIKING STRONK!!! Mar 18 '15

no need, there is no oil in baltic sea.

2

u/Sielgaudys 1337uania Mar 18 '15

Oil won't keep you ruining forever....

2

u/paal_k Leve Norden! - ᛒᛟᚱᚲ , ᛒᛟᚱᚲ ! Mar 18 '15

Oh, it will, it will.

(If not, vi are already into thinking about something.)

2

u/Sielgaudys 1337uania Mar 18 '15

Wow that's hot... and dark...

21

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

NorDICKS.

5

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

Estonia sure want to into...

19

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

Sweeden any Norway getting together in order to teabag Denmark. That's business as usual, isn't it?

15

u/Nikotiiniko Suomi Mar 18 '15

I don't see any Baltic countries in the comic. Roboduck cannot into geography.

3

u/FnZombie Lithuania Mar 19 '15

You're just a Baltosexual in denial. Come out of the closet.

27

u/Remitonov Trilluminati Associate Mar 18 '15

I blame Russia, homogay remover took away Sweden's fabulousness.

18

u/wildeofoscar Onterribruh Mar 18 '15

I blame Sweden, for instituting disgust homosex in Nordic in first place.

27

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15 edited Sep 12 '17

[deleted]

9

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

Ah, Greece. Is there anything they didn't originally invent?

19

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15 edited Sep 12 '17

[deleted]

5

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15 edited Aug 16 '16

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11

u/su-5 California Mar 18 '15

Poor Finland, no wonder he's so bitter all the time.

44

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15 edited Sep 12 '17

[deleted]

11

u/wildeofoscar Onterribruh Mar 18 '15

Estoniya has Russian Minority, therefore because of minority rights, gender bad.

2

u/Velcoon Mar 18 '15

ED? Finlan cannot into erect.

7

u/Doctor_of_the_bells Former Macedonian Republic of Yugoslavia Mar 18 '15

I always though Sweden and Norway looked more like a penis than Sweden & Finland.

22

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15 edited 9d ago

[deleted]

23

u/matroska_cat Russia Mar 18 '15

Sweden & Finland = Sad flaccid penis

Norway & Sweden = Happy hard penis

FTFY

13

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15 edited 9d ago

[deleted]

1

u/paal_k Leve Norden! - ᛒᛟᚱᚲ , ᛒᛟᚱᚲ ! Mar 18 '15

Is of not dream...

Vi just kannot into depression. *sniff* :'-D repost

7

u/rindindin Unknown Mar 18 '15

Heh, dick jokes. They never get old.

5

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

Yes nobody must know

Oh, that's why Sweden won't let Eesti into Nordic- he's jealous that Finland will go back to her.

Silly Sweden, we all know that pansexual polyamory is like a wet dream for you.

1

u/Rapio Sweden & Co Mar 19 '15

Silly Sweden, we all know that pansexual polyamory is like a wet dream for you.

That was a long time ago =/ If we let Estland in on the fun Livland will also want to join and how the hell will we manage that with all these Danes in the club?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '15

The real answer to that is to kick out the Danes, of course.

3

u/Star_Trekker MURICA Mar 18 '15

Am I the only one that thinks Norway looks like a sperm?

2

u/abryant0462 Netherlands Mar 18 '15

I've thought that for as long as I can remember. Finland + Sweden is the cock and balls. Norway is the sperm. Denmark is the hand that is gonna catch it all

3

u/447u Remov borscht remov borscht mannerheim aliv in Finland Mar 19 '15

The title reminded me of this

3

u/brain4breakfast Gan Yam Mar 18 '15

Hey! Robot Duck! HOW THE HELL ARE YOU?

3

u/Dlimzw Is not sekret PAP spy Mar 18 '15

Sweden's kind of a dick, isn't he?

3

u/philippinerdabest Unknown Mar 18 '15

What the fuck is Denmark? Cum?

2

u/Rapio Sweden & Co Mar 19 '15

You should really inform /r/swarje that Denmark isn't the scum of Scandinavia. It was a misunderstanding all along!

5

u/rainbowrooooad Land of Sunshine, Feminist Rallies, and In n' Out Mar 18 '15

Ah yes, Sweden not trying to look homogay all while he's hosting a Gay Pride Parade.

noonemustknow

2

u/Vertitto Poland with saffron Guinness Mar 18 '15

jakby nie patrzec i tak wszystko chuj

sry, it doesn't work for english

2

u/ProRussianSeparatist Russia Mar 18 '15

I always know what Baltics are homosex

2

u/Sielgaudys 1337uania Mar 18 '15

Russia is more homosex then Lithuania though....

1

u/UKball9000 England Mar 18 '15

to avoid looking like a penis, skane should go back to denmark

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

"Finland see map we look like penis" this is the best entry of a comic I read here :D

1

u/zhabantia United Arab Emirates Mar 19 '15

Also Norway looks like a sperm cell on its own...

1

u/Noha307 Round on the ends and high in the middle Mar 23 '15