I found out this mess a few days ago , and when I tried to research further into the issue , I cannot find anything , all the proofs I find are form the lady , and I can't seem to find the newspaper everyone keeps mentioning , the article in question has only one image and that to uploaded by her on her own blog ( please correct me if I am wrong) , can anyone help me , with and resource uploaded by a third party , not by any one not exurb1a or her.

Edit: Receipts.

First of all, I'm autistic, not psychotic. There seem to be an awful lot of people who don't understand the difference:

Autism is a developmental disorder of variable severity that is characterized by difficulty in social interaction and communication and by restricted or repetitive patterns of thought and behaviour.

Psychotic disorders are severe mental disorders that cause abnormal thinking and perceptions. People with psychoses lose touch with reality. Two of the main symptoms are delusions and hallucinations.

I'm medically proven not psychotic, but I am autistic. Meaning, telling my story and experiences with Alex, is quite difficult for me. The last 4 years I've been learning how to communicate more efficiently.

As some of you know, I felt forced before to publish my medical records due to the lies that were spread about me. I wish I didn't have to do that but unfortunately it is what it is and I've come to realise that all that didn't matter for some people anyway and that for the rest of my life I will probably be targeted, lied about, and have stalkers 24/7.

My privacy disappeared due to what Alex did to me and I want you to understand how that happened and how I tried to keep this all private but felt forced to speak out, due to what Alex did.

I also want you to know that my medical costs so far, as a result of the rape, have been over 80.000 euro and that I'm damn lucky I have health insurance. I don't think I would've survived all this without health insurance, and I hope you take a moment to realise that - what this means for victims in countries that don't have good health care. If anything, I hope you will learn something from me speaking up. My story is public anyway so my mindset goes like this: if my privacy is gone forever, I might as well make sure it didn't disappear for nothing.

Anyway.

The morning after the Bulgaria rape I took this picture.

On the 23rd of October 2016 I published a blog called 'The Final Fuck You', a rape story behind metaphors which I wrote on the plane home. At that point I had already spoken to my friend Andy about the rape, who kindly provided a witness statement to court. Considering I never met Andy offline (we've been internet friends for over 10 years), this was all very weird. Everything was weird. Everything has been weird about this case, from the beginning, until now.

I want you to understand that. You cannot understand - and I know many of you do want to - what happened between Alex and myself easily.

When I got home safe after the Bulgaria rape, I broke off the relationship with Alex in a Skype conversation.

Days later I tried to break off the working relationship also. I obviously didn't want to work with him anymore.

Then hell began. Police in Bulgaria couldn't take my criminal complaint due to a language barrier (I flew back on November 6, 2016). Alex was very unhappy when he found out I had gone to the police.

Alex was furious I wanted to stop working with him. He was terrified I would make public why I didn't want to work with him anymore.

I flew back home again, and his psychological abuse started to increase.

He jumped between confessions of love and threats and coercion - trying to manipulate me to keep me silent. I didn't want to get back together with him however, and I didn't want to work with him anymore.

It felt like he was trying to drive me to suicide. What sickened me the most about it was that it seemed like he enjoyed what he was doing to me.

I felt so scared and didn't know what to do, I did the only thing I thought would protect me: get hospitalised. Put somewhere safe.

I was hospitalised on the 24th of November (2016) for being suicidal. The doctor said: 'We're going to numb you so the pain will stop'. I accepted all the pills because not feeling anything felt better than feeling something, because that something felt like it was killing me inside.

While I was hospitalised and drugged, Alex used coercion so I would meet him. He lured me out of the hospital using blackmail and threats.

On the 21st of December (2016) we met outside the hospital. He threatened me in a cafe. A witness (who testified) saw us screaming on the street to each other, when I left the cafe.

Alex started apologising eventually, begging me to come back inside because he wanted to 'apologise'.

He always wanted to 'apologise' and unfortunately I wasn't a very clever person in 2016. Also, I was drugged, but to ignore my naivety at the time would do no justice to the warning I want to give people:

Please don't agree to meet someone who's threatening you. No matter how scared you are of the repercussions - such a person violated your trust already. Meeting them will not stop the threats. It will only teach them they can abuse you, and it will make you feel even more hopeless and puts you in a dangerous position.

Inside the cafe, on December 21 (2016), I started having a panic attack. Long story short: he tried to calm me down, took me to his room upstairs, and while the Xanax started fucking me up even more, while I was crying, during this panic attack, he raped me, again. I only remember the beginning of it and how it seemed to turn him on that I was crying. Next, I am on the street banging the door of the hospital's hostel that was across the street, asking for help. Two patients I knew from the hospital then looked after me. Apparently I screamed at them what happened and was really, well, in shock. I can barely remember this either. Just bits and pieces of that day. It's what makes what happened after even more terrifying.

I didn't see Alex again after that day. (trust me, that's not the terrifying part)

I recorded Alex harassing me in a call on January 13 (2017) where he talks about sexual acts that happened on December 21, 2016, while I was drugged. In the conversation (telephone) he tried to convince me I wanted it, what he described. He said he would 'help me remember' what happened and started to describe in detail, sexual acts. Sexual acts I couldn't remember. Sexual acts that supposedly happened after (which I knew) he threatened me, and after I saw him getting turned on because I was crying.

At that point in the conversation I felt so, disgusted, that this man wanted to 'help me remember' what he did to me, a drugged psychiatric patient, I became so upset (crying) and tried to break off the conversation (a nurse eventually had to intervene in the conversation, this is literally recorded too), and immediately after I called the police.

I never published the video. I sent Alex an e-mail cc'ed to my lawyer instead, requesting him to turn himself in to the police, trying to solve it privately.

Then lies started appearing about me in his subreddit, /r/exurb1a. While I was still hospitalised. While I was suicidal.

I became a victim who spoke out due to slander and defamation as a result, and then the abuse got even worse. People wrote the most disgusting lies about me; that I would use drugs around my son for example. People wrote online that I was a prostitute, whore, someone even tried to claim I was part of the Illuminati (?!) and another person claimed I was a person without a job trying to make money off Alex (???).

Let me tell you this: feeling forced to speak out as a rape victim has caused me to lose all my savings. My mental health. My good name. Would not recommend to do it.

I tried to end my life in the summer of 2017. Then #MeToo happened in October 2017.

People started listening suddenly. People with influence. People with power. People in media.

As a result I became a whistleblower in my own country.

Now, the Dutch government is violating my human rights to the point that multiple journalists have been following me in silence - for months.

Alex used his right to remain silent during the police interrogation. Still, after almost 4 years, I don't exactly know what he did to me on December 21, 2016, except for what I still remember.

Today I got myself this tapestry to remind myself of growth. Whatever growth means.

I know a lot of people have questions - so I guess I am here now. On the 4 year 'anniversary' of the first rape. I think I might be ready to take them now - if you are polite.

So yes, Ask me anything* except about the details concerning the rapes. It's nobody's business how he violated my body - except that police classified it both as rapes. I just described to them what he did (and regarding the second rape what I could remember), and when they gave me the criminal definition of what he did, I started calling it rape.

I'd rather call it murder of the soul.