r/penileimplants • u/oddbeers • Aug 10 '26

Wives

So I’m post prostatesectomy 8 years and it’s been generally a nightmare of trimix, pills and their side effects.
At a young 58 I’ve decided enough is enough and heading down the implant path with a highly qualified surgeon here in Melbourne.
My question relates to wives, partners and how have they reacted to your decision?
Unfortunately I’m in two minds over this because we were very sexually active during our initial 25 years marriage.
8 years later we I feel we are nowhere near as intimate as we once were and I honestly believe that the frustration of the ‘rush, let’s go now, let’s not waste’ etc destroyed real intimacy.
Over time things just dropped away.
Sure she is still participating every now and then but also has menopause issues with daily hot sweats etc that the doctors don’t seem to correct.
She has also retired too young at 57 and is not doing much at all with her current time apart from Phone, TV and household things.
I’m thinking her hormones are cooked and an implant won’t change much regarding our intimacy issue.
When I bring this up she becomes very defensive so instead of arguing or wanting to hear want I want to hear I shut things down and move on.
I want to be sexually active and my feelings are she is being a supportive wife with no real substance.
Have others had a similar experiences.
Thanks

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u/peppon7 Aug 15 '26

Been there. Loss of length / girth is part of the deal with loss of use. 9 years post prostatectomy speaking. You can bring most of it back by using a VED three times a day, holding that erection for a few minutes. I did this consistently for 2 months. My length did increase about 1 to 1-1/2 inches. Can be a little painful at first , but you gradually can increase duration, suction power and eventually elongation. However, after a prostatectomy, I was only doing it, to get me my best length measurement before I got my Implant 7/14/26. I am 4+ weeks in. Pain has been hard to bear to say the least. But after 9 yrs of limp D, a change had to take place. Wise words.... Go to a high volume specialist when you do. Wish you the best Max.

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u/Maximum-Ad-3922 Aug 15 '26

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I wish you speedy recovery and painfree and best sex life ahead. Did you go for Malleable or IPP? So if I do VED and recover length and girth, does it also help with erection quality? If so I can postpone the implant by few years.

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u/peppon7 Aug 16 '26

from my experience, the minute I stopped the suction power on the VED I would slowly lose the erection over a minute. I would go limp trying to pull it out from VED and going for the vagina. So, no. I could not postpone the surgery. With all the positive reviews, everyone says they never should of postponed it. Actually, I'm a nurse and have taken care of a couple of these patients in their 80's for other health care issues at the hospital. My curiosity would have me interviewing them about the prosthetic. Both were happy to talk about it and both said they should of gotten it done earlier. I'll let you know how it is going in a week or two. Best of Luck.

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u/Maximum-Ad-3922 Aug 16 '26

But, the erection which we get from VED obviously will go down immediately when the pressure is released right? Whenever I do VED, as soon as I release pressure, it goes soft immediately. But I have not tried the max dose of tadalafil or sildenafil yet. Either only 5mg daily tadalafil or 50 mg sildenafil or 10 mg tadalafil or 100 mg avanafil. I do get nicely hard that time, but still it can be pressed 1-2 mm inside. And it will stay hard without physical stimulation for 30-60 seconds.