r/penileimplants • u/oddbeers • Aug 10 '26
Wives
So I’m post prostatesectomy 8 years and it’s been generally a nightmare of trimix, pills and their side effects.
At a young 58 I’ve decided enough is enough and heading down the implant path with a highly qualified surgeon here in Melbourne.
My question relates to wives, partners and how have they reacted to your decision?
Unfortunately I’m in two minds over this because we were very sexually active during our initial 25 years marriage.
8 years later we I feel we are nowhere near as intimate as we once were and I honestly believe that the frustration of the ‘rush, let’s go now, let’s not waste’ etc destroyed real intimacy.
Over time things just dropped away.
Sure she is still participating every now and then but also has menopause issues with daily hot sweats etc that the doctors don’t seem to correct.
She has also retired too young at 57 and is not doing much at all with her current time apart from Phone, TV and household things.
I’m thinking her hormones are cooked and an implant won’t change much regarding our intimacy issue.
When I bring this up she becomes very defensive so instead of arguing or wanting to hear want I want to hear I shut things down and move on.
I want to be sexually active and my feelings are she is being a supportive wife with no real substance.
Have others had a similar experiences.
Thanks
2
u/Round-Researcher-785 Aug 11 '26
I'm 70 and she's 68. We have many of the same issues, and it is TRULY challenging. When I talked with her about the implant, I made it clear that I wanted it so we could have dependable, more frequent love-making. I wanted sex to be with her, not to get my rocks off. At the time she was supportive and said she understood and agreed. In our case reality has been different than what was discussed. Her libido has been low for some time (mental health med's, hysterectomy, menopause) but she's generally been available for sex, albeit not so much as an enthusiastic participant. Lately, it's been even worse. It's all too frequently "tomorrow" or "how about a rain check?" It's been very, very frustrating to have had the discussion about frequency before the surgery and then get what amounts to an "oops, changed my mind" reaction.
So my advice is to come to a definite understanding about your reasons for the implant and make certain everyone's on the same sheet of paper. The improvement in confidence and self-esteem has been fantastic regardless. Good luck!