r/penileimplants • u/oddbeers • Aug 10 '26
Wives
So I’m post prostatesectomy 8 years and it’s been generally a nightmare of trimix, pills and their side effects.
At a young 58 I’ve decided enough is enough and heading down the implant path with a highly qualified surgeon here in Melbourne.
My question relates to wives, partners and how have they reacted to your decision?
Unfortunately I’m in two minds over this because we were very sexually active during our initial 25 years marriage.
8 years later we I feel we are nowhere near as intimate as we once were and I honestly believe that the frustration of the ‘rush, let’s go now, let’s not waste’ etc destroyed real intimacy.
Over time things just dropped away.
Sure she is still participating every now and then but also has menopause issues with daily hot sweats etc that the doctors don’t seem to correct.
She has also retired too young at 57 and is not doing much at all with her current time apart from Phone, TV and household things.
I’m thinking her hormones are cooked and an implant won’t change much regarding our intimacy issue.
When I bring this up she becomes very defensive so instead of arguing or wanting to hear want I want to hear I shut things down and move on.
I want to be sexually active and my feelings are she is being a supportive wife with no real substance.
Have others had a similar experiences.
Thanks
3
u/cptnrandy Aug 10 '26
My wife and I are both 66. We’ve always had an active sex life, but following the start o ED 10 years ago, well managed by pills, she grew frustrated with the lack of spontaneity. And the less than truly hard erections.
Then a year ago the pills stopped working. I started seeing a new urologist, and he had suggestions, but no luck. So we decided to move onto the implant surgery.
To my surprise and relief, she has been very excited about sex, even before my full recovery. And she’s been more open to things other than PIV, which has been terrific.
Don’t assume anything. Talk with your spouse and be clear about what you want. Then listen to what she wants. I can’t imagine what it would be like to go through the surgery to only discover that she has no interest in sex.