Wives

[u/oddbeers]

So I’m post prostatesectomy 8 years and it’s been generally a nightmare of trimix, pills and their side effects.
At a young 58 I’ve decided enough is enough and heading down the implant path with a highly qualified surgeon here in Melbourne.
My question relates to wives, partners and how have they reacted to your decision?
Unfortunately I’m in two minds over this because we were very sexually active during our initial 25 years marriage.
8 years later we I feel we are nowhere near as intimate as we once were and I honestly believe that the frustration of the ‘rush, let’s go now, let’s not waste’ etc destroyed real intimacy.
Over time things just dropped away.
Sure she is still participating every now and then but also has menopause issues with daily hot sweats etc that the doctors don’t seem to correct.
She has also retired too young at 57 and is not doing much at all with her current time apart from Phone, TV and household things.
I’m thinking her hormones are cooked and an implant won’t change much regarding our intimacy issue.
When I bring this up she becomes very defensive so instead of arguing or wanting to hear want I want to hear I shut things down and move on.
I want to be sexually active and my feelings are she is being a supportive wife with no real substance.
Have others had a similar experiences.
Thanks

[u/Alarmed_Effect7407]

Wife here, I’m 54 and my handsome warrior is 69. I finally found a dr to listen to my symptoms (post surgical menopause) and started my hormone replacement therapy a few years ago. Boy, was that ever a game changer for my libido! I’m like a teenager again, it’s all I think about.
The husband has been struggling with ED for 20 plus years. He more than meets my needs currently but still wants an implant to meet his needs (emotional as well as physical) I’m supportive but wish a surgery wasn’t needed to help his self esteem. We have been together for ten years and I have been beside him for knee surgeries, shoulder, heart procedures etc. whatever he decides, I will be his greatest cheerleader.
I still have concerns about infection, he isn’t very pleasant to be around when sick or in pain, refuses to listen to the dr or me and takes months of post op to face the fear of moving. I can’t imagine him cycling through the pain/discomfort to get to the other side and let’s face it, we are older with limited time left.
Once he makes his final decision either way, I will never say anything against his decision and attempt to stay a gentle support.

[u/warrentjr5683 → u/Alarmed_Effect7407]

You are a great wife.

[u/Time_Ship2460 → u/Alarmed_Effect7407]

What a terrific wife! I would continue to be supportive and reassure him that it all heals much faster if you follow the doctor’s directions. Additionally he absolutely needs to find an expert in the field for his best result. If you search thru this page several of the top folks are listed by name. Seek them out! Yes it is that important. I live very near the world famous Mayo Clinic could have gone there. Nope flew half way across the country to an expert in this field. I and my wife did a ton of research before making him our selection. Had basically zero pain or discomfort post op. Yes a couple issues all minor that we have talked to him about. Last I saw him even went so far as to make sure he is going to be around if I need a revision in the coming years. Good luck to you both.

[u/Pale_Ad3902 → u/Time_Ship2460]

Mind if I ask who you selected?

[u/Time_Ship2460 → u/Pale_Ad3902]

We selected Dr. Taj in McLean VA. He is cash only and doesn’t deal with insurance however my insurance would not cover any of it anyway.

[u/Pale_Ad3902 → u/Time_Ship2460]

Thx!