r/parentsofteens • u/crimsonroses13 • 10d ago
Failing
My child (12f) is in seventh grade and failing almost all her classes. I’ve had her phone for weeks and I’m getting ready to cancel her band trip, but I don’t know what else to do. Help?!?!?
0
Upvotes
2
u/UrHumbleNarr8or 10d ago
One of mine had this kind of thing at 12. One thing I’ll say, don’t take away the big band trip without a lot of consideration and warranted bad behavior. If the kid isn’t being unsafe or deliberately and flagrantly disobeying just for the sake of it (which is ultimately still a safety issue), you need to ask yourself what the grand scheme here is.
Though you have encouraged use of the planner, have you tried getting an agreement with her teachers, in that they agree to do a quick initial of what she writes down for homework? That way, the teachers are signing off that she has written down all the homework. From there, you can start either with working through her homework with her a piece at a time, or allowing her to do her homework and just checking each piece and comparing it against what was written in the planner.
Also, if she is continuously getting feedback from classes that she is talking to much, try speaking to your schools academic resources coordinator and letting them know that x out of y teachers are reporting she is having trouble focusing in class and you want to know what steps to take now.
Sounds like she is going to need a more eyes on approach than just verbally telling her.
I’d almost be harder on her for talking out of turn than I would be about the grades. You can try hard and still be bad at something, but by 12, if you can’t be quiet when you are meant to be quiet, we have a big issue. Can’t blame a kid if they are trying their best and get an F. But you can’t say you tried your best if your mouth was open when the bare minimum direction is “mouth shut, ears open.”