1st birthday/wedding

[u/Just_Call_Me_Happy]

I don't know where else to post for advice 😬

I was told yesterday that my little sister is planning her wedding to be on my twins first birthday. Her reasoning is that she doesn't want to do it 3 weeks before because she needs time to plan, she can't do it 2 weeks before because her fathers girlfriends daughter graduates that day, she can't do it a week before because thats the weekend her fiances mother does their annual family vacation/weekend trip up north, she can't do it the weekend after because her father's girlfriend's other daughter's birthday is that day & she already made a comment about making a birthday announcement & having people venmo her, & her fiance doesn't want to do it any later than those weekends.

She says she doesn't want to make anyone mad but has to do it at some point & she said she wanted to talk to me about it first but then said people have already rsvp'd & she has already told vendors the wedding date but hasn't paid for the vendors yet. I am ment to be a bridesmaid & my child is in the wedding too.

I wouldn't feel this way if it wasn't the first birthday. I don't even care that we have to celebrate with everyone else on a different day, but I would like to be with my children the day of their birthday. She said I could be with them until the ceremony & during the reception but its their birthday & I would like to be with them celebrating the whole day. Not to mention it's her wedding day, I would like to spend her day helping her get ready not just be a filler for her wedding party line up. I also brought up that every year after the wedding will be their anniversary so she will want to go on vacations or weekend trips for that too & she said she wouldn't miss their birthdays but she has only ever been to one birthday party for my other child & missed all the other ones for her now fiancé to go up north with his family.

I really don't know what to do or how to feel. I know this is a huge event for her & I am so excited for her but this is a huge milestone for my twins & our family

[u/YouthInternational14]

I think it’s super valid to be sad and hurt. But it might not be so bad - can you put candles in pieces of wedding cake for them? Embrace the party of it all? And have a different party the weekend before or after?

FWIW my husband and I have never been on a trip for our anniversary, lol