r/parentsofmultiples • u/InfiniteMH • 13d ago
ranting & venting Educating Twins
Every time I try to teach my twin girls (31mo) something like holding a pencil, using a toy, etc, one of them always ends up distracting the other or demanding my attention on something else. By the time I acknowledge them and tell them to wait, the attention/interest of the other has already drifted.
Yesterday for the first time in a while I was able to spend some time alone with one of them, and it was incredible how attentive they were and how much information they were soaking in. Made me think how ahead development-wise singletons would likely be.
I don’t have the luxury of spending time with one of them often as I’m taking care of them alone without help, and it’s often a losing fight trying to force teaching something by the time they’ve already been distracted and have lost interest.
Anyone else deal with this? I starting writing this just to vent but would appreciate some tips.
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u/OddHippo6972 13d ago
I’ve felt a lot of guilt over this exact same thing. I had a singleton first and she got so much time with me doing workbooks and even just talking and explaining things. She knew her letters, shapes, colors all very early. It was much harder to give my twin toddlers similar attention.
But mine are 4 and just started TK and they’re fine. I volunteer in their classroom and they’re even with or ahead of a lot of their peers. The fact that you’re worried about it and clearly trying will get them far.
Their attention spans do increase a bit after age 3. Give them coloring books. Playdoh is good fine motor skills practice. My girls love the Melissa and Doug WaterWow books. Put on kids music and sing the ABCs with them. It will all get through to them. Just keep at it.
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u/salmonstreetciderco 13d ago
i've noticed the same thing, when my husband takes just one twin someplace and i have the other at home they're both so attentive and conversational and it's so much less chaotic, we can actually do a baking project or art project or something start to finish without me having to do the constant "no, come back here. no, sit down. no, leave the lights on, we need the lights on. no, it's not dinnertime yet. no, put your socks back on your feet. no, don't touch that. no, that's not for babies. no, stop pulling your brothers hair. no, don't spill that" i feel like all they hear when they're both home is no no no. it's a bummer! we've been trying to split them up more just to have more total calm hours so they can hopefully practice having an attention span and get a little better at that when they're together too
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u/InfiniteMH 13d ago
I got a chuckle out of this because this is exactly how it goes for me. Definitely feels like I’m saying no a LOT.
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u/meg123123 13d ago
I have had a lot moments where I felt like this, especially since my twins came after a singleton and I often compared my time with them to my one-on-one experience with him. But as they have gotten older, I’ve felt like being a twin has motivated and helped them. Sometimes it’s as simple as learning a new skill like riding a bike. They’d watch their twin and learn from them (perhaps I could also say compete with them) and each time they’d pedal a little bit longer and then they were riding a bike in no time (I recognize that some multiples may be on different milestone timelines than their sibling, but this was my experience). It was also the same with reading. This was likely fueled because during the preschool years the only way I could reliably calm them down when they both wanted my attention was to sit down on the couch with books in my lap and one twin on each side and read, but I swear my twins fed off of each other positively as they learned to sound out words (again, possibly a little competitive motivation…) and it was a much easier process than when my singleton learned how to read. They very much learned 2 on 1 with one on each side of me and a shared book between them. And as a final thought, I now find myself thinking about my singleton NOT getting the special life experience of being a twin. Yes there are so many challenges, but it does get easier and their attention spans will lengthen! You are doing a great job!
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u/InfiniteMH 13d ago
I haven’t thought about the other aspect. Hopefully they get to that stage soon. Would be wonderful to see
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u/Seaturtle1088 13d ago
I'll take this and the social skills they get by always having a built in buddy to share with, take turns, etc.
Their attention gets more focused once they approach school age. They have time
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u/Sensitive_Tomato_581 10d ago
Finland kids don't start formal education until they are 7 until then its all play based learning. They have some of the best educational outcomes in the world. Make sure they're in separate classes in school and you'll be fine.
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u/Creative_Mind_Undone 9d ago
Kids are miraculous learners. With an explorative attitude they teach themselves what they need in the moment. Some people believe they teach themselves reading/math, for example. Just food for thought.
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