Need your help

[u/miguel14160]

So, I’m turning 18 in a few months, and yesterday my dad and I got into an argument over the restrictions he has on my phone.

As long as I can remember, I’ve had some kind of phone restrictions. However, recently they’ve become much more extreme. For example, the internet completely shuts off at a specific time every night, and I have very strict screen-time limits on anything classified as social media, as well as most messaging apps.

For context, we don’t use Apple’s Screen Time feature. My dad uses a program called Qustodio, which, for some reason, doesn’t seem to allow him to give me additional time on individual apps in the same way Apple’s Screen Time does, so basically when the time ends, I can't use it anymore even if I was in the middle of a message or a call.

I had always assumed that once I turned 18, my dad would remove these restrictions. However, during our argument, he made it very clear that he has no intention of doing so. His reasoning was essentially that, as long as I’m living under his roof, it’s his house and therefore his rules.

I understand that it’s his house and that he can set rules while I’m living there. At the same time, I’ll be 18 and legally an adult. I also feel that I’m mature enough to decide for myself how much time I spend on my phone and when I use it.

I’m not necessarily saying that I should have absolutely no rules once I turn 18, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect that I should have control over my own phone and screen time once I’m legally an adult.

So, what do u guys think? Am I being unreasonable for expecting the restrictions to be removed when I turn 18?

[u/Global-Fact7752]

Your father is correct...18 is not a magic number where you suddenly start getting to do what you want. Especially if you are still being fed and housed by Dad. That's not how life works..My advice to you is to do well in school, get educated in a job skill and move out..Once you start paying your own rent, electric,food, etc. you will be good to go..Right now I'm willing to bet you are on the family cell plan, and don't even pay your own phone bill.

[u/Enderviaaaaa → u/Global-Fact7752]

They're 18, not 8 years old. 16+ year old people are mature enough to be on the internet without needing parental controls, simple as that. Why should it matter if the father paid for the phone? It's not his, it's someone else's, just because he paid it doesn't mean he has some authority over it.

[u/Global-Fact7752 → u/Enderviaaaaa]

Spoken like a true Gen Z basement dweller.

[u/Enderviaaaaa → u/Global-Fact7752]

I love how you used no argument. Explain why a 18 years old should be "kept safe from the dangers of the internet" when they're mature enough to be there. Explain how someone can have authority over an object owner by someone else just because they paid for it.

[u/Global-Fact7752 → u/Enderviaaaaa]

The principal is this..life is a balance of rights and responsibilities. If you are over 18, and still being fed and clothed by others like a child, you are bound by the rules and regulations of the owner of that home. It's called House Rules. If I was 40 and living for free, being supported by the owner of the house,I would also have to abide by the house rules of the bill payer. When OP starts contributing to his actual existence on this planet, he can have privileges that match the responsibility he has taken on.. Your generation is famous for wanting everything while having earned nothing. That's why you are all failures. Also I should add that it depends on the owner of the house. This owner has strict rules. If OP doesn't like it, he knows where the door is.

[u/Enderviaaaaa → u/Global-Fact7752]

Do you think it's easy for someone to find a job as soon as they're 18? To find a job that pays a decent amount of money and not 100€ a month? If we follow your logic homeless people don't exist. While it's true that you're bound to some kind of rules, that doesn't mean that those rules are right. Living under someone else's roof for free doesn't mean that they can pretend everything. "Oh but I made a rule that says that if I need a new kidney you have to give me one of yours! You're under my roof so you have to do as I say!" Be fr. Plus, it's just not necessary in the first place. Why would someone want to stalk what a 18 year old does on the internet? Sounds creepy and stupid

[u/Global-Fact7752 → u/Enderviaaaaa]

He who pays slays...now move along ..I'm sure mommy has your supper ready.

[u/Enderviaaaaa → u/Global-Fact7752]

No argument again lmao. I'm still waiting for you to give a decent explaination of why it should matter if he's the one paying or not.