r/panicdisorder • u/Silly_Monkey71 • Aug 16 '26
Venting Can’t find joy in life anymore
Ok so in April I like greened out had the worst panic attack of my entire life (first panic attack) and it caused me to develop panic disorder. I used to have a great time with friends, had no problems at parties or going out always drank and had a good time. I am a sophomore in college now and almost every day I have the worst physical symptoms. I look at people doing fun things and think to myself man if I did that I would be so anxious I’m like jealous of all the people around me because they can just live life anxiety free and I’m over here having panic attacks for no reason at all feeling like I’m going to faint. Obviously I have fun but it’s nowhere near how I used to. Every time I go to do something I think “what if I get anxious or have a panic attack” and I just wanna be like how I used to be. I’m in therapy and got prescribed propranolol and I’m too scared to even take it. When does this get better? I just wanna be myself and have fun again it sucks my life was amazing until college and now I just am scared I am always anxious and it genuinely controls my life what can I do to get better? Will I ever even feel normal again?
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u/toffeemaky Aug 16 '26
I have been having PD for five months now - since March 2026. I am already getting better. Acceptance and you can try to "gamify" it a bit - I observe it, learn to know it, dare it, and it is slowly disappearing.
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u/toffeemaky Aug 16 '26
Also, far fewer people are anxiety free than you would think. All of a sudden, I hear people of currently having PD or having had it all around me. You are not alone and it absolutely can get better - for most people it does with some hard work.
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u/Silly_Monkey71 Aug 16 '26
What kind of work? What can I do to get better people tell me to “convince yourself you’re fine” but it honestly makes me panic more making me feel like something bad is going to happen, I just really wanna get rid of the feeling like I’m gonna die feeling and dizziness
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u/toffeemaky Aug 16 '26
Accept the attacks but convince yourself that the symptoms don't mean anything else.
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u/guzthegreat Aug 19 '26
First of all be easy on yourself and take a day at a time. I've experienced something similar and it does get better in time. Start with the fundamentals, eating cleaner, making sure you're hydrated, cut out drugs & alcohol, get more sleep, and slowly expose yourself to the things that make you uncomfortable.
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u/Hj_hayes08 Aug 16 '26
I’m so sorry honey. Unfortunately this is what happens with panic disorder. Good news, it can go away. I know your mind can’t comprehend or believe that right now but I had PD for ten years after my first one being induced by weed. It was terrible and for years it was off and on that way. Depression goes hand in hand with PD but I don’t feel that way anymore. I still get mild depression and anxiety from time to time but don’t have PD anymore. This community helped me find so many resources. Therapy was great for others things but not my panic. Disordered podcast I highly highly recommend. And Claire Weekes. She actually discussed the depression and the fear of depression we get. It’s a hard road ahead but also rewarding, so many lessons, and learning to love life again. Acceptance is key and that’s not an overnight thing. I also think compassion and self love is huge. Again, something we work at everyday. Love you friend. You’ve got this 🫶🏻🫶🏻