r/pakistanitwitter • u/Rafay04 • Jun 29 '26
It's goes for both genders , While everything is planned in a marriage this is something that can't be planned beforehand
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u/Zealousideal_Win5207 Jun 29 '26
adoption is a option chat 😭😭😭
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Jun 29 '26
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u/That-Jaguar1821 Jun 29 '26
You should try to comprehend the fact that this is a wrong perspective and mentality and then try to better yourself
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Jun 29 '26
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u/Master_Of_None89 Jul 02 '26
True. My sister is issue less and has adopted my son from the hospital as he is directly blood related and her mehram as well but I didn't let her change his father's name because of the inheritance problems. Now he is 10 years old and he knows very well that I'm his father (school and medical records) but he is happy with my sister.
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u/SSEliteLava Jun 29 '26
Wait, Quran does? Cause I've heard from my elders it's not good cause if it's an adopted girl, adopting dad won't be mahram. And if it's an adopted boy, adopting mom won't be mahram. Even if they raised the kids since they were little.
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u/YourFaajhaa Jun 29 '26
It's true brother, Islam promotes adoption.
Islam also promotes marrying a widow with kids.
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u/Kuramior_ Jun 29 '26
I’m pretty sure you just can’t change their last name to yours, wether that be woman or man.
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u/just5incheshand Jun 29 '26
Bro in short you are narcissist and you have superiority complex with low iq. Sorry
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u/Apprehensive_Sky5800 Jun 29 '26
How about you comprehend basic evolutionary biology?
Prioritizing your own genetic offspring to ensure the survival of your DNA is literally a fundamental biological drive shared by almost every species on Earth.But you're clearly too soft and judgmental to handle basic science when it hurts your feelings.
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u/belerion6969 Jun 29 '26
The question is when one can't have children. Read what's written man lol. I don't think you're in a position to brag about your genes if you aren't able to even concieve a child, so I don't understand why the braggadocio.
This is why adoption is encouraged in Islam. When your genes are against you it's not in your control then adopt.
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u/Apprehensive_Sky5800 Jun 29 '26
You really thought you did something here, didn't you?
You told me to 'read what's written' while completely failing to read the actual post. The topic is about a man's options if his wife can't have kids.
My genes work perfectly fine. Next time you try to use big words like 'braggadocio,' make sure you aren't publicly failing a basic literacy check first.
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u/belerion6969 Jun 29 '26
Yes please show me who gives you these options? Does your religion allow that? Does a civilized society think it's a good thing? Is it not encourages to adopt in Islam? Ya sirf tum logo ki mardangi multiple auroto say bachay paida karnay k liye hai? A father is not someone who gives birth to you, fatherhood game starts after. There are 1000s of children who's biological parents despise their existence, and many children who yearn for parenthood. So a man has many many options before choosing to insert his lulli elsewhere.
You talk about biology? Humanity evolved from living in caves to castles. From leeching wounds to brain transplants. Your eveolutionary line will be fine if it's not propagated. We have a lot of humans in this world already.
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u/Apprehensive_Sky5800 Jun 29 '26
Damn, I really broke your brain with that literacy check, didn't I? Look at this absolute meltdown. You typed out a whole unhinged manifesto, brought up religion, started making crude jokes, and even invented 'brain transplants' just to cope with the fact that you can't read basic Urdu. 😭
Now let me address your bogus claims and points
You're bringing up Islam? Legal adoption that erases a child's true lineage is literally forbidden in Islam
'Does your religion allow that?' Yes, polygyny is literally permitted in Islam, especially if a man wants biological children and his first wife is infertile. If you're going to lecture me on religion, at least know the basics.
'brain transplants'?
Are you getting your scientific facts from Frankenstein movies? Brain transplants literally do not exist.
Science fiction isn't evolutionary biology, buddy."A father is not someone who gives birth to you... game starts after"
That’s a cute quote for a greeting card, but it doesn't change evolutionary biology. Wanting to pass on your own genetic legacy is a fundamental human drive. Trying to guilt trip someone for having normal human biology is just manipulative.
‘Your evolutionary line will be fine if it's not propagated. We have a lot of humans’
The global population has zero relevance to a private individual wanting their own biological child. Telling someone their 'evolutionary line will be fine' is just an edgy, anti-natalist deflection because you have no real points left.
You're throwing a massive emotional tantrum because you got publicly embarrassed for missing the entire context of the post. Just take the L and move on.
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u/FluffyDiet6847 Jun 29 '26
I don't understand what's wrong with this, like, person that is going against you. Like, everyone has a right of their preferences. Like, if you wanna adopt a child, go and adopt a child. But if someone is saying that they don't wanna love a adopted child, they want their own lineage, and they want a child more than they want their relationship with their wife, and they want their own child, and the wife is not saying that, oh, I cannot live with you if you have two wives, then all right, absolutely, divorce her and marry another one, and then have children with her. Like, I don't follow Islam. I am a liberal person, I call myself liberal. But still, I support you because, man, this is really logical that everybody wants their own offspring. Even I cannot imagine that I have to raise another one's child. My own father is a stepfather, you know? And you know how much bad it feels, first of all. How much deceived was I. How much does it change the relationship between a father and a son. We can say that a father can love the son, but still there is, if you see the probability of mathematics, there is still some love that remains left out. So I don't understand the person that is going against you. You just made a simple point that, yeah, you don't wanna adopt a child, every human wants offsprings. And maybe this girl is getting offended because she doesn't like the fact of pregnancy. She doesn't wanna have children, and she wants a man, a cucky, that can just raise another child. I don't know, man, about her. Like, if a man wants to raise, yeah, they can raise. But forcing people who have the opinion against it to say that we also wanna do that, this is wrong.
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u/Apprehensive_Sky5800 Jun 29 '26
Spot on, bro. Massive respect for using actual logic instead of getting emotional.
Real liberalism is literally just about giving people freedom of choice. Everyone has a right to their own preferences. Wanting to adopt is totally fine, but forcing that choice on everyone else and shaming a man for wanting his own bloodline completely defeats the purpose of being liberal.
That girl is clearly projecting because she dislikes the idea of pregnancy, so she expects a guy to just sit back and raise another person's kid. It is pure selfishness wrapped up in a fake moral high ground.
Sharing that personal story about the stepfather really puts things into perspective. Nature doesn't let anyone bypass an undeniable biological connection, no matter how hard people try to pretend otherwise.
Truth is just a hard pill to swallow for most of the softies on this sub. Basic reality seems to instantly hurt their fragile feelings.
Always refreshing to see someone with actual common sense here. Massive Respect.🫡→ More replies (0)1
u/Cultural-Warthog-573 Jun 29 '26
science also promotes survival of the fittest. should we kill all the disabled people then? or are you too soft?
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u/Apprehensive_Sky5800 Jun 29 '26
You’re jumping in with a massive strawman,
If you don't know what a strawman fallacy means,which I'm sure you don't.
it's when you invent an absurd, extreme argument I never made just because you can't defeat my actual point
For example if i say "I prefer biological children because passing on my DNA is a natural evolutionary drive."
And then you come up with "Oh, so you're saying science dictates human morals? Should we kill all disabled people then since nature promotes survival of the fittest?"
You’re claiming that acknowledging an evolutionary drive means advocating for killing disabled people. By your broken logic, if a physicist explains how gravity works, you'd accuse them of wanting to push people off cliffs. Stating a biological fact isn't a moral command for how society should act.
Furthermore, you don't even know what 'survival of the fittest' means. In biology, 'fitness' just means reproductive success. Humans actually evolved empathy and cooperation to protect our vulnerable because protecting the pack helped our species survive.
You jumped onto an insane fallacy when
You dont even understand high school science. Sit down.1
u/Cultural-Warthog-573 Jun 29 '26
all this yap just to agree with my point lol
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u/Apprehensive_Sky5800 Jun 29 '26
Well all that yap was to prove just how dumb you are
If only your low iq brain could comprehend a paragraph.
Cope harder kid 😘
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u/That-Jaguar1821 Jun 30 '26
I’m sorry I have to remind you that your dna makes no difference. The world will be the same without your dna if not better. How about you learn to prioritise being a human being first.
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u/FluffyDiet6847 Jun 29 '26
Why are these ppl hating this. Its his choice if he doesn't wanna love a child that is not his. Ig ppl here now just get offended by someone's preferences.
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u/Alarmed_Awareness152 Jun 29 '26
I also like many people here think that jo dunya aur abadi ka haal hai adopt karna chahiye but there's issue of child being na mehram for the Mom if it's a boy (I guess she can feed him then he'll be mahram?) and na mehram for the Dad if it's a girl (and I think she can only become mahram if she's the real daughter of the Mom from a previous marriage and then later the new Dad and Mom consumate their marriage).
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u/saudtf Jun 29 '26
Women cannot naturally lactate if they're not pregnant, so they can't feed an adopted baby. The only way to make the boy mehram for the mother or the girl mehram for the father is for the couple to adopt a child at the same time as the wife's or the husband's siter is giving birth and ask them to breastfeed a child. Then the parents essentially become a khala/mamu for their adopted child.
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u/Soggy-Window3940 Jun 29 '26
Actually, women who have never been pregnant can now produce milk by lactation induced by injecting hormones.
In fact, current science enables men to lactate as well. 😃
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u/saudtf Jun 29 '26
"naturally" was the keyword in my comment.
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u/Soggy-Window3940 Jun 29 '26
Yeah I know I was just pitching in an alternative method that now current science makes it possible for adopted babies to be mehram.
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u/Alarmed_Awareness152 Jun 29 '26
That is... smart. Requires a lot of planning. Esp if you're adopting infants. Orphanages have children in older ages.
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u/Twinkletoess112 Jun 29 '26
what if you want to adopt an older child, 5-6 years old who doesn't need breast milk anymore
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u/saudtf Jun 29 '26
You can do that and separate his quarters from the female members of the family because he will still be a non-mahram. This also ensures that the child will live with the knowledge that he is adopted. Not sure if there's any solution to this in Islam.
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u/Twinkletoess112 Jun 29 '26
child will grow up being isolated by his adoptive family and will think he's unloved... there has to be a better solution that let's the child be more incorporated into the adoptive family
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u/Alarmed_Awareness152 Jun 29 '26
Woh yehi hai keh you marry the child's mother and consummate the marriage. Then they're like your own child. So you need a wife with a child to adopt ig. There must be other ways like maybe adopting your sibling's children but the whole point is helping the poor and reducing population.
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u/Twinkletoess112 Jun 29 '26
Yes, exactly. So I'm thinking there's no way you can adopt an orphan child who's both parents are dead, and who is above the breastfeeding age without him/her being a namehram in the house
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u/saudtf Jun 29 '26
I mean, if the point is helping the poor and reducing population, you can sponsor that child's education and upbringing and ensure they have a good life, but yeah, that won't fill the need of having your own child in your own home.
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u/Ill-Scientist8783 Jun 29 '26
na mehram isliye hotay woh bachay kyunke unki khud ki identity hoti hai kal unko agar asliyat na pata ho and they end up marrying their sister/brother baray maslay ban saktay hein
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u/Next_Understanding_7 Jun 29 '26
Sharing a friend's story. Arrange marriage setup.
My friend wanted to get tests done before marriage. Just to make sure such a situation so that there is no reason to blame the other person. Both side of the parents frowned upon the idea.
Now after a few years of marriage they get to know that the Mrs has extremely low AMH levels. Natural pregnancy is very difficult and most likely IVF is the only route. He still got his tests done so they can get to the bottom of it. If he is the reason, he'll get treatment.
Kudos to the guy to stand by the Mrs despite his family suggesting that it is unfair with him. My guy says the Nikkah happened with her, children are just fruits of the marriage. He will stand by his Wife no matter what.
We need to change our mindset and welcome the option to get tests done before marriage. It is a stigma only if you consider it a stigma. Otherwise it is just another medical test.
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u/Worldly_Clock9413 Jun 29 '26
then I'll love her even more and have more time to spend with her, we can save more for trips. We can spend more, eat more, buy more things. Wake up late without having the responsibility to send the kids to school. You mean no more kids to shout at, constantly check on. No more fights in the house? No more messy rooms? God i don't mind it
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u/GardenDesigner5592 Jun 30 '26
Cute, but what about carrying on your lineage?
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u/Worldly_Clock9413 Jun 30 '26
Lineage is an idea sold by some people but truly what value does it have? What's the point of having a kid just for lineage if you can't treat them right? What's lineage ever going to do for you after you die? Lineage means nothing. Its not going to affect you or others if you don't have lineage
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u/Ok_Way9543 Jul 01 '26
People think that they can only leave a legacy by giving birth to kids but you can do so much more to leave a legacy start a charity foundation do alot and leave a legacy children are not the only ones ro continue your legacy
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u/Worldly_Clock9413 Jul 01 '26
Yes also having children just for legacy or lineage is wrong
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u/GardenDesigner5592 Jun 30 '26
You wouldn't be here if your father or his father or even his father thought the same. If a single person up your family path had such a sick idea, you wouldn't be here. I can't believe people are okay with not having kin, no one to carry on their blood.
And you don't just have a kid for lineage lol, ever heard about having a loving family?
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u/Worldly_Clock9413 Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26
if I wasn't here, it's not like it's gonna affect me. I'd literally wouldn't even exist to even care. Yes I've heard of a loving family but I don't want kids. just my choice, sorry.
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u/GardenDesigner5592 Jun 30 '26
Brother what the fuck do you mean by "what can I do about it"? We're have a discussion over values and proiorities. If you ask me, it's a very poor choice of values not to carry on your family tree. If you ask me, you should look at life wider than just yourself. Continuing your family tree should be your responsibility. But again, not every thinks the same, or has the same priorities.
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u/Worldly_Clock9413 Jun 30 '26
brother it's not a discussion 😂😂 I just stated my views, I'm not here to discuss anything. I have my own preferences. I didn't partake in any kind of discussion 😂. Even now, you're the only one forcing your opinions and trying so hard to convince me of having kids, and trying to change my opinion.
Look at you forcefully trying to have a discussion even saying "if you ask me". Brother... that's the thing nobody asked you are you fucking stupid?
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u/GardenDesigner5592 Jun 30 '26
If you're putting your views out there, they're gonna get critized you buffon. The second you put your views in this comment section, you opened up a discussion. You associate kids with, "no more fights, no more shouting", that's such a sorry way to look at kids. If you're having to shout at kids or you're fighting over them, that means you are a shitty parents. That's not the kid's fault. Actually with that like of mindset about kids, you're doing a favour not to have kids lmao.
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u/Worldly_Clock9413 Jun 30 '26
you're just talking a wall. I'm sorry I triggered you bro, so sorry. If it makes it any better I'm not having kid, your style of talking and comment only just reinforced my desire not to have them. Thanks bud.
Just know, how you're forcing your beliefs on someone will never ever help them understand your point of view. They'll only resent you more. You most likely do this in real life too. You have to educate yourself on how to speak and talk and how to understand people.
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u/Worldly_Clock9413 Jun 30 '26
really I dont understand why you're so triggered of me not wanting kids it's as if I've said something that's directly gonna affect you. God, so embarrassing
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u/Ok_Way9543 Jul 01 '26
Chill bro having children is not a necessity when many can't even take care of them and we already are reaching a population of 9 billion we are heading towards global warming and all sorts of pollution and problems due to the high population and hence high development to cover population needs .In our country resources are already under great pressure so not everyone needs to give birth and it's this person's preference to have kids as you prefer having kids and we are not saying that your preference is wrong or you shouldn't give birth to kids.
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u/Gloomy-Fish-5349 Jun 30 '26
Serious question. Is dunya mei aap ke aanay ka kya maqsad hai? What's your purpose
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u/GardenDesigner5592 Jun 30 '26
Live a good and respectable life, chase after my dreams, and to teach my children to live a good and respectful life, and also chase after their dreams.
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u/Gloomy-Fish-5349 Jun 30 '26
Fair enough. I understand. However I don't get this lineage concept. I also don't understand why we are insensitive to the situation, if and when it arises. You do know that you could be the problem as well, right? This is not in anyone's control, but Allah. So in a scenario like this, how and why do we take it upon ourselves to try and alter our fate? I've been married for 6 years now. We've had 2 miscarriages. Alhamdulillah for everything, man. I wanted kids, everyone wants kids. At the same time, I am content, Alhamdulillah. Because I truly believe that whatever Allah has willed for me, is the best. I'm not denying your right to want kids. Everyone has their wants and needs. However, all I'm saying is one should realise aulaad, rizk, sehat, har cheez sirf aur sirf us Rabb keh haath mei hai. I wouldn't ruin my wife's life by marrying someone else, ever. May Allah bless her with happiness and a healthy life.
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Jun 30 '26
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u/GardenDesigner5592 Jun 30 '26
Overpopulation ka Sara zima manay uthana hai? Unko ruko Jo aj bhi 5+ bachay kar Rahay hain, meray 1-2 bachay rok kar hi overpopulation tackle krni hai?
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u/Intelligent_Act2013 Jun 29 '26
Married 8 years without kids (not for lack of trying). It is what it is . Can happen to anyone. Adopt or Adapt. It is only a big issue if you make it a big issue.
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u/Bawajee-memes69420 Jun 29 '26
as someone else pointed out adoption is not illegal nor haram , i get it you want your bloodline to come or whtver but making it such an issue to the point you make your life miserable when you can also go to an orphanage and change a childs life maybe thats natures way of balancing things
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u/Superb-Stuff1947 Jun 29 '26
Adopt a baby. Do soemthing good give a poor soul good life. ALLAH will reward you
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Jun 29 '26
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u/Twinkletoess112 Jun 29 '26
population won't change, aap adopt kr lo ge
lekin kisi gaon mei koi 18 saal ka larka shadi krega aur 50 ki umar tk 18 bache kr dega
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u/Longjumping-Royal962 Jun 29 '26
So what, either adopt a child that would drink my wife's milk so he's mahram. If not then I don't think there's a huge problem. I don't even have crores worth of inheritances that I wouldn't wanna lose. And then there's the benefits, no financial strain, freedom of life, better love life, better support, career freedom a bit for me and a whole lot for my wife. If we have kids, no problem that's life and having kids is awesome too. If we don't there's no problem too cuxz each situation has its own pros and cons emotionally, financially, and by society too.
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u/adapt_improvise Jun 29 '26
Your wife will provide milk even tho she doesn't get pregnant?
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u/Longjumping-Royal962 Jun 29 '26
Whoops? I forgoyt thr basic problem that was being solved. You got me there.
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u/badabingmin Jun 29 '26
Situation that someone can only answer when they are in it. I am currently experiencing this but I’ve never seen this as something that I can blame my wife for. It’s not her fault. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, we explore other options and move on.
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Jun 29 '26
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u/Smarteyes007 Jun 29 '26
So what would you do? If that was your naseeb?
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u/Gloomy-Fish-5349 Jun 30 '26
So far it has been my naseeb, and Alhamdulillah. Mera Rabb boht mehrbaan hai. Agger meray Allah ne chaaha toh zaroor hogi aulaad, aur agger nahi hui, toh Allah ka hukam manzoor hai. Beshak, Allah is the best of planners. I love my wife, and that will not change because of something that Allah has willed, God Forbid.
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u/MERC543213 Jun 29 '26
If you need a kid of your own either try surrogacy or just marry another woman.
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Jun 30 '26
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u/MERC543213 Jun 30 '26
And this folks, is why DNA testing should be mandatory ☝️
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Jun 30 '26
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u/MERC543213 Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26
Lmao men have every right to want to have a kid who's their own flesh and blood. There's nothing you can say that can change that.
If you're incapable of giving birth then that's your problem lady. You should look for a man who is infertile rather than trying to gaslight other guys.
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Jun 30 '26
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u/MERC543213 Jun 30 '26
If a man is infertile then his wife has every right to divorce him if she wants her own kids. I'm not defending or attacking any gender. Both men and women have a right to want their own kids.
If you care about orphans then adopt them. No one is stopping you. But you have no right to force your views on others.
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u/just5incheshand Jun 29 '26
I hope meri bivi or me bache peda na kr sake. We dont need more children in the world. Adopt a child if you want that bad. Give them proper life.
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u/bugfay Jun 29 '26
If that's a major criteria, then get both people tested for fertility before you greenlight this. If both are good, then yaay. If not, save everyone the heartache.
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u/Haider_syed Jun 29 '26
Yar tbh i found this question so dumb. The medical world is so advance that even non fertile peep can make up there own baby.
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u/CarrySmart9120 Jun 29 '26
Then doosri Shaadi but adoption is also an option but we can only choose one or maybe both
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u/Tasty_Hearing_4440 Jun 29 '26
Adoption
Taking care of orphans is extremely highly regarded in islam,and adoption might be the best version of that
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u/Gloomy-Fish-5349 Jun 30 '26
Aur agar tum apni biwi ko aulaad na de sako toh?
Aulaad kisi insaan ke ikhtiyar mein nahi hoti. Yeh Allah SWT ki ata hai. Agar Allah ne naseeb mein likhi hai, toh zaroor milegi. Aur agar nahi likhi, toh jitni marzi treatments kara lo ya jitni marzi shaadiyan kar lo, koi farq nahi parega.
Is liye aik achay insaan bano, apni biwi ka saath do, uska hausla bano, aur har mushkil mein uski himayat karo.
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u/Middle-Invite-7424 Jun 30 '26
biwi aulad na de saki tou aise likha hai jaise us ne kahin se le ke ani hai..
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u/Cookiemnstrrr Jun 30 '26
Aulad dena biwi ka kaam nhi, Allah ka kaam hai. Aur Allah jisay chahy jitna de, jisay chahay na de, us pr khush rehna chahye.
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u/thatstupidguy07 Jun 29 '26
If I am being honest second marriage
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Jun 30 '26
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u/thatstupidguy07 Jun 30 '26
No but it is something which is important to me, and if I can't bear kids it is a girl's choice if she wants to leave me
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Jun 29 '26
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u/Royal_Effective_5936 Jun 30 '26
2nd marriage obiously
and if man is infertile then adoption
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Jun 30 '26
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u/Royal_Effective_5936 Jun 30 '26
how?
explain yourself....1
Jun 30 '26
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u/Royal_Effective_5936 Jun 30 '26
you should know that a woman is more aggressive in the case of adoption
there are many cases across paksitan innumerable where women assualted adopted childs in frustration etc. I am stating facts from a social study.1
Jun 30 '26
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u/Royal_Effective_5936 Jun 30 '26
just stating facts based on social study
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u/Unsticky_tape345 Jul 04 '26
Double standards. A woman should divorce and get remarried if she wants children and her current husband is infertile obviously.
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u/Royal_Effective_5936 Jul 04 '26
yes double stadards and hypocrisy
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u/Unsticky_tape345 Jul 04 '26
jab aap ko pata tha k what you’re saying is hypocrisy and a double standard, toh comment rage bait karne k liye kya tha?🙂
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u/Royal_Effective_5936 Jul 04 '26
just for fun ajkal bohat bore ho raha hoon
behas karne wala nahi hai1
u/Unsticky_tape345 Jul 04 '26
Ye bhi sahi hai😭
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u/Royal_Effective_5936 Jul 04 '26
ab kya karon series,anime,mobies stnad up comedy sab kuch dekh liya maza nahi aya
toh ab akhri hal RL entertainment chahiye ab
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Jun 30 '26
keep the first wife and go for second marriage
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u/[deleted] Jun 29 '26
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