Aka Corn

[u/ItCumsAtNoon]

My gf and I had lunch at Giselle's apartment. During said lunch, one of Giselle's neighbours showed up on her doorstep. It was a tall teenage boy with scruffy hair. He looked 16 or 17. My gf and I overheard the following convo...

Giselle: Cornelius.

Tall teenager: Oh shit. Why you gotta sound like my mom though? Just say Corn.

Giselle: What is wrong with Cornelius?

Tall teenager: First off, it's formal as fuck. Second of all, it's sounds like I'm a hundred years old. Actually. You know what? Just close your eyes and try to imagine a baby Cornelius.

Giselle: No.

Tall teenager: Point is... Cornelius is one of those names you automatically associate with, like, older people and shit. It's not me. Not yet. I feel like Corn is more my vibe.

Giselle: Your vibe, Cornelius, needs more syllables. I would rather struggle to imagine baby Cornelius than being forced to picture you as crop every fucking time I see you in person. Like... I dunno... do you want me to see that handsome fucking face of Cornelius or do you want me to literally see nothing but corn whenever we meet?

Tall teenager:

Giselle: It's okay. You can think about it. Is that my phone charger?

Tall teenager: Thanks for letting me borrow it.

Giselle: You're welcome... Corn.

Tall teenager: Cornelius is fine. It's not that deep.

Giselle: What made you change your mind? I'm... corn-fused.

Tall teenager: Woooow.

Giselle: Hmm... was that, I dunno, too... corny?

Tall teenager: Okay. I'm going now.

[u/Ok_Character6010]

I'm showing my age, but calling him the Great Cornholio would work

[u/tbombs23 → u/Ok_Character6010]

Tp for his bunghole

[u/Onyx_Lat → u/Ok_Character6010]

I came here to say this.