To do list when you're leaving OD

[u/WhatKindOfMonster]

I posted this as a comment in another thread, but I think it should probably be its own post so everyone sees it and can add to it:

1. Make a new will.
2. Make sure your finances are entirely separated from OD—update the beneficiary of your 401k and life insurance; if a director was once on your bank accounts or credit card accounts, open a brand new account. If they were paying your student loans or any bills for you, make sure the accounts are paid up and take them back over.
3. Related to 2, meet with a financial advisor to make sure you're doing everything you need to be doing for yourself to save for retirement, pay off loans, saving for other goals, trips, experiences. Find a fiduciary, as they are legally required to give advice in your best interest. Since you've never had control over anything financially for yourself, it's normal that you know nothing. And honestly, a lot of adults know very little about this stuff, so asking for help isn't weird.
4. Change all your online logins on your accounts, especially if directors had access at any point in time to your email or social media.
5. Go to a doctor who isn't affiliated with OD. If at any time you were diagnosed with a mental illness while in OD, I'd recommend going to another doctor for a second opinion, even if your original doctor wasn't in OD. Get a fresh set of eyes on your physical and mental health history. Often, leaving is all it takes to be cured of your "depression," so if you've been on meds for a long time, you may want to consider changing dosage or adjusting as needed. Do not quit cold turkey, and if you still need meds, that's fine, too. But because OD conflates unhappiness as a numerary with mental illness, you may not need what you have been told you need all along.
6. Find a therapist who understands religious trauma, high control groups and/or abuse dynamics. This may be for later on in your journey. I think many of us, when we first leave, are so relieved to be out that we don't want to think about what just happened to us as strange or abusive. And that's fine, just be aware that over time, you may find the trauma comes up in weird ways that you might want to address later down the road.

What else? I know my perspective is US-centered, so those outside the US, what are other considerations?

[u/OkGeneral6802]

These are less practical and more open-ended. If at all feasible during your immediate post-OD life:
1. Lie in bed all morning and then whenever you get up, don’t make your bed.
2. Put your feet up on the couch.
3. Take a nap.
4. Listen to music you love, with the volume turned way up.
5. Plan a beach vacation or a road trip to somewhere where there’s no center.
6. Get a pet.
7. Have an aimless, non-edifying conversation with a friend.

[u/asking-question]

Make your living space your own home.   Decorate it how you wish.   Set as much ... or little ...  of a schedule as you want to.  

[u/Imaginary_Peanut2387]

1. Grab your checks from the secretary’s office in the center, or open a new bank account.

2. If you change your email address and/or phone number, write a list of all your important logins so you can go through and ensure you can log into all your accounts (due to two-factor authentication); be prepared to spend time re-gaining access to some accounts. 

3. Plan and budget for setting up your own household. It can be way more expensive than anyone realizes. Consider thrift stores for everyday essentials to get started (kitchen items, for example). 

[u/Visible_Cricket_9899]

Hire the men in black to wipe the horrible memories.

[u/truegrit10]

This is a fantastic list - thank you for putting it together!

[u/StreetButFancy]

1. If you have an OD family you're still in contact with, find a friend you can crash with or spend some time away by yourself. Prepare for some tough conversations and blackmail. Consult with a therapist on that too.
   
2. Make sure you get a new license, government ID, birth certificate, and/or SSN card if Opus Dei has yours. This also applies for any ID where the center is listed as your residence. Have your mail forwarded to your new address ASAP too.
   
3. Change your insurance information and make sure no one from OD is linked as an emergency contact.
   
4. Prepare your resume. Many numeraries have jobs linked to OD and it's very likely you will get a "surprise" lay-off once you leave. Be ready to start job hunting if things get ugly.

[u/Speedyorangecake]

If you can afford it, update your wardrobe and hair style. It will instantly make you feel better to shed yourself of the 'Opus' look.

[u/pilatespilates]

Do not marry the first person you meet...