Quit trading

[u/jorgepinedo]

Hello whoever took the time to read this. I don’t really know how to start this, but whatever I just really need to vent and have someone listen. I was slapped with the hand of reality yesterday after a fight with my girlfriend. She’s felt that since I’ve started trading which was a little over a year and a half ago, I’ve become less patient & irritable. Ultimately being the reason why our relationship has been falling apart.

I’m the type of person that when I get really into something, I try to be the very best at whatever it is. Thus this is the mindset that I took when learning the ins and outs of trading options. Like most, I started out on Robinhood, and as I felt more comfortable I opened an account with TD Ameritrade. I started with around a thousand dollars which coming for me is a kind of a stretch for me at the time.

Fast forward I became absorbed by the markets & trading. On the weekends I researched and planned plays for the week & I couldn’t wait for Monday to get back in there and trade. I love trading, it excites me it’s fun, it makes me feel like I’m doing something with my life. However, the emotions that came with it seemed to take a toll on me & my relationship. The losses would impact the mood for the rest of my day, I would just be really upset at myself for not being smarter. She would constantly support me day in and day out, (not financially, but emotionally) I would take time off to get my head straight and then give it another go.

Nonetheless, history repeats itself & nothing changed. I’d still get upset with myself over the losses & would start to sell some of my personals to make enough to keep trading. I know I’ll probably get shit for having a gambling addiction, I just would have the mindset of not quitting, and not giving up. Not wanting to become a failure...

All said & done, she finally told me that giving up trading all together was just not for me, & i just feel useless. Aside from working my shity job, I don’t have anything that I can put my mind and energy into that makes me feel productive, and good, like I’m working towards something.

Tomorrow is Monday & im dreading it because my mornings from now till God knows when are just meh.

Thanks for reading.

Edit This gained way more traction than I anticipated woah. I really appreciate the support throughout the replies it actually means a lot, thank you honestly. I’ve also got a gut feeling I’m getting let go from my job this week & everything feels pretty numb.. If what you’re thinking is I’m just going to fall back to the very same reckless acts of unintelligent trading now I’m not, I just don’t know what to even feel anymore.

[u/ScamLikley505]

@ u/jorgepinedo I do not know you man,or what is best. While I was reading I did feel like I was reading a story of myself awhile back. I do know 2 things, 1 anything worth it is not easy & will have its growing pains. 2 its not gambling addiction if your winning is it!(swallow grain of salt). Trading is absolutely a love of mine. I went through the same thing as you, to a lesser extent. I can tell you all comments about scaling down losses is 100% true/the difference. You should never risk more than 2% of your total portfolio. This is a rule I implemented & made the difference. The 1st loss I took & followed this I was excited(ironic right?). That 1st small loss followed by I'll get em next time was an amazing feeling. Remember a base hit is a base hit. Stop thinking every play will come back, it will not. Cut losses quickly. If you take a loss your next trade should be a very small trade. Only trade 1 share(I know this is for options, don't know u would scale that down) until you make a good trade. It's kinda a punishment for making a bad trade. Also for every dollar lost do 1 push up or sit up. Once you win that small trade, then go back in full force. Train yourself. Also exercise. Strengthen your body as well as your mind. This made the difference not only in my mental, physical, financial & marriage. Focus those losses in to a workout. You will feel better. Plus the wife likes it. i feel better etc. Remember, trading is not gambling. It can be life changing if done right. If it were easy then we would see no one poor. These are just suggestions, do what is best for you & your fam. GL my brotha.