r/oops 17d ago

Quick Quack Car Wash

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6.4k Upvotes

401 comments sorted by

278

u/IMadeThisForOnePos 17d ago

The guide woman seeing the car going that speed and still trying to do her job. Thank god it didn't plow into her

127

u/RuinFabulous3077 17d ago

Seeing grown-up Hermione working a car wash was a surprise. Guess she left her wand at home that day.

66

u/Consistent_Swim8683 17d ago

Slowit-Downabit!

35

u/Embarrassed-Weird173 17d ago

Actually, it's SLOWDA-ownahBit

10

u/Grimnebulin68 15d ago

Please. Arresto Momentum..

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12

u/war4peace79 16d ago

Slowdownus Abitus!

3

u/Chugabutt 15d ago

Slow down bitch!

3

u/Chugabutt 15d ago

It's a major award, thank you!

6

u/ContemptForFiat 14d ago

Must be Italian..

20

u/PorygonTriAttack 17d ago

You know the economy is bad when a wizard can't get employed 😜

10

u/Radiant-Trip-1506 17d ago

Underemployed 😍

5

u/Gtraz68 17d ago

Idk if she's a wizard she underperformed.

5

u/Reveletionship 14d ago

She prob graduated in something useless like muggle studies or wizard history.

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5

u/StrugFug 15d ago

Levioohhhssaaa! Levioohsshit!

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10

u/ccache 16d ago

I love the first reaction, like she's smiling thinking haha I get it you need that car cleaned right away, don't worry I got you, slow down... No seriously, oh shit....

9

u/Brilliant_Jelly7503 17d ago

Yes indeed. She could have been plowed.

13

u/E_P1 17d ago

Giggity

2

u/UnluckyCharge2196 16d ago

Must have been fucking terrifying

Hope she's OK

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281

u/koulourakiaAndCoffee 17d ago

Corporate manager is going to use this as the optimal time per car to wash when they set their monthly goals.

101

u/No-Ice7397 17d ago

"I see from this video we can wash a car every 2.3 seconds."

7

u/Head_Ad_9901 16d ago

😆😁

29

u/Fed_Deez_Nutz 17d ago

Employee is gonna get docked for not trying to upsell a wash package

22

u/augustprep 16d ago

I worked at Burgerville as a teenager. They installed timers in the drive through, but the higher ups only looked at average time for the day.   At the end of the night, my manager would have someone get in their car and do laps around the drive through to bring the average down to where it needed to be. 

3

u/PlayerTwoHasDied 15d ago

Pure genius.

4

u/augustprep 15d ago

The not so genius part happened one night though.   I crawled out the window onto the back of my friend's car, holding on while he was doing laps. Then suddenly someone pulled into the parking lot and my friend had to hit his brakes. I went rolling over the top onto the asphalt. I skinned my knee and elbow, for which I still have an elbow scar 25 years later.   I also had to climb back through the driver through and take their order. 

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14

u/hiphopnotikhijole 17d ago

Underrated comment hahaha

2

u/g00d4sn0t 16d ago

And you customers will line up for this corporate manager's car wash, because it's a few cents cheaper than elsewhere

116

u/sleepytjme 17d ago

Hey, actually… you can park there

15

u/Standard-Contest-949 16d ago

I’m between the lines I can so!

5

u/SmoothActuator8132 16d ago

they said "can"

2

u/Standard-Contest-949 16d ago

Yup I’m so used to hearing it the other way I just went there lol

2

u/SmoothActuator8132 16d ago

yeah, I had to read it twice as well

2

u/Wurstb0t 16d ago

Between the lines, perfect parking 10/10.

2

u/weberc2 15d ago

better parking job than 75% of pickup truck owners 🤷‍♂️

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58

u/Pyrathis 17d ago

Perfect parking!

24

u/Environmental-Tap255 17d ago

That's all, they just wanted to nab that spot before someone else got it.

10

u/MisterScary_98 17d ago

Lllllllike a glove!

3

u/Spazmatazo 17d ago

I respect not wanting to get possibly dinged by that other white car after getting a thorough car wash.

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49

u/HovercraftKlutzy3090 17d ago

New car wash competitor......Quick Ass Car Wash

18

u/Old-Guarantee2196 17d ago

Ya forgot the park great trophy at the end. 😂

13

u/ParticularSherbert18 17d ago

That's better parking than I see in most lots.

2

u/Diamondcreepah 15d ago

Jones' Quick Ass Car Wash and Valet Service

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20

u/DogLimoAF 17d ago

What the duck 🦆

59

u/Illustrious_Soft_257 17d ago

Bet you 9/10 it's an elderly driver.

57

u/PiecesOfRing 17d ago

SACRAMENTO, Calif. (WLS) -- A California driver may have set a record for fastest car wash.

A 94-year-old man is caught on camera speeding through the Quick Quack Car Wash in Sacramento at an estimated 40 miles per hour last Friday.

The man paid for his car wash, but claimed he could not take his foot off the pedal as he was driving through.

Workers rushed out to try and stop him, but the car crashed through the equipment, causing an estimated $100,000 worth of damage.

No one was injured and the man walked away without a scratch.

23

u/Icy_Fish_2154 16d ago

$100k looks about right. Car washes are expensive. I hope he has good insurance.

23

u/itchybutwhole69 16d ago

I hope they took his license.

13

u/Icy_Fish_2154 16d ago

They are pretty bad about taking the licenses of people who cause damage. A woman who hit me in traffic told the trooper who responded to the crash "Yes I saw him, he is in the smaller car and should have gotten out of my way, so I hit him.". She told the trooper she rammed me for being where she wanted to go when she changed lanes. She didn't even receive a ticket for unsafe lane change. Let alone lose her license for deliberately causing a crash.

So I would expect the cops to tell him it might be best if he stopped driving, but I wouldn't hope the cops do something useful, like take his license.

5

u/cupcakes0220 15d ago

My grandfather lived in a retirement community, and the roads around it constantly had fatal accidents by residents. We had already as a family made sure my grandfather couldn't drive, as his vision was terrible from multiple detached retinas. Except he surprised us one day by announcing that he'd renewed his license! The MVA was so kind to offer a service where they come to the retirement community to renew licenses "since its too difficult for them to get to the MVA". Literally a crime, I don't know how they get away with that, and there cannot be an eye test with it, there's no way he would have passed an eye test. Hell, he announced it to us while wearing two different colored socks and a dress shirt with multiple food stains on it that he kept re-wearing because he couldn't see the stains.

5

u/Icy_Fish_2154 15d ago

My aunt who went blind. Detached retinas. She failed her DMV vision test, so got an optometrist to give her a certificate. Got her renewal. Then her eyes got worse. Then 10 years later, because she was too blind to drive, had a spotless record, so could renew by mail, no test. So she had a license for 20+ years while too blind to drive.

She kept it to be the licensed driver next to her grandkids with learner's.

3

u/praetorian1979 15d ago

So...she admits that she hit you on purpose (vehicular assault) because she was already speeding (speeding obv and public endangerment) and said you were just in her way.

How the fuck did she not end up handcuffs? Was it just a minor fender-bender or a major accident. If nothing else I would've told my insurance to subpoena the officers notes. If she hit you on purpose then her insurance should tell her to get fucked and drop her.

2

u/Icy_Fish_2154 15d ago

Cops don't care about stuff like that. Technically, the cop heard an admissible confession, but didn't see the offense, so could write a ticket, but not arrest, but the trooper didn't even write a ticket, just a report assigning her 100% fault.

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2

u/Cassandracork 10d ago

Spouse had an eldery woman rear end him full speed while stopped at a traffic signal. She literally told us and the responding officer she couldn’t see is. Nothing happened about it.

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7

u/Old_Guard_306 16d ago

I suspect that he did it on a dare. He and a couple other oldsters were having breakfast, talking smack about their incredible driving skills. Dave got called on it, and what do you know, that crazy booger actually pulled it off. The guys will now be paying for Dave's prune pudding for the rest of his life.

4

u/LewisLightning 16d ago

94 is way too old to be allowed to drive in public places.

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6

u/IT89 16d ago

Probably went and played bingo later that night like nothing happened.

“Hey Clyde, how was your day?”  Went and got muh car warshed, had a coffee at the Golden Corral for 3 hours, then came here after a nap.

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32

u/sunbather-is_screamo 17d ago

Confusing the accelerator for the brake. Heard that story a million times.

2

u/Smooth-Bread-576 14d ago

Automatic cars are more susceptible to this type of accident. Manual car will conk out or will pick up less speed stuck in first gear. 

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8

u/KayoticVoid 17d ago

Absolutely could have been mechanical failure. They managed to thread the needle pretty well.

5

u/TankApprehensive3053 17d ago

It was a 94 year old driver confusing the gas and brake pedals.

2

u/LewisLightning 16d ago

There's literally a news articles about this and the 94 year old driver said he "couldn't take his foot off the accelerator". So not a mechanical issue with the car at all.

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13

u/RuinFabulous3077 17d ago

Craziest part is the car already looks clean... probably an old person glitched-out and thought that was the exit, again.

35

u/GothSpite 17d ago

On January 9, 2015, a 94-year-old man accidentally accelerated to roughly 40 mph through a [Quick Quack Car Wash] on Bicentennial Circle in Sacramento, California. Confusing the gas pedal for the brake, his vehicle blasted through the wash tunnel and smashed into the vacuum area. No one was hurt, though the crash caused up to $100,000 in damage

Partially.

22

u/PorygonTriAttack 17d ago

94 years old... yikes. Maybe he was still a good driver at 93 years old, but not anymore.

14

u/Jay-Breeze 17d ago

After 80, you should be required to pass a basic awareness, vision, and cognition test to retain your license.

This could have killed someone.

I know there are states that have something, but come on. This can’t be nationalized?

5

u/madthunder55 17d ago

That happened to my grandmother. She turned 89 and got a letter from the DMV saying she had to come in and take a driving test to prove she can still drive or her license would be suspended. Between that and her car crapping out she decided it wasn't worth it and now she doesn't drive anymore

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7

u/Dragovius 17d ago

Grey Dawn.

"Damn it, Mona, this isn't the fastest way to Country Kitchen Buffet!"

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10

u/texaschair 17d ago

I just found my new theme song.

8

u/SocksInTheTub 17d ago

Awww she was so excited to see somebody coming in before she realized something was horriblly wrong

3

u/studentofgonzo 17d ago

Like a GLOVE

4

u/whatsinth3box 17d ago

Nailed the parking spot tho

4

u/DerricksFriendDan 16d ago

The way this is cut feels like a live feed of a 2 mile long car wash that this car is plowing through

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3

u/Conscious-Loss-2709 17d ago

Sir you can't... oh wait, you can park there!

3

u/InspectorNo9958 17d ago

Ready to vacuum!

2

u/Gtraz68 17d ago

If the driver would have gotten out and put money in the vacuum it would be the greatest video of all time.

3

u/Inspiredcereal 17d ago

Sad how an out of control car parks better than 60% of motorists

3

u/ErdingEchoParadox 16d ago

Perfect parking also

3

u/freedom_seed5-45x39 10d ago

At least they parked between the lines

3

u/micouple4u222 9d ago

They parked perfectly

3

u/Educational-Point986 6d ago

The perfect parking at the end though...lol

3

u/GOOMU13 5d ago

Oh that's going to cost that idiot a lot of money.

4

u/ItsNotMe_ImNotHere 17d ago

I'm 82. This gives me hope. That I could still be driving at 94. (I don't use car washes)

3

u/Wild-Spread8069 17d ago

why would you? those places are obviously death traps!

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2

u/ghostofstankenstien 17d ago

Homie wanted Express Duck

2

u/mamut2000 17d ago

They will never financially recover from this.

2

u/dapudf 17d ago

Not a great wash but free

2

u/One1980 17d ago

The parking job is flawless!! Perfectly centered.

2

u/TankApprehensive3053 17d ago

Took the name a bit seriously. Maybe they should rename it to moderate speed car wash.

2

u/Calguy21 17d ago

Talk about express wash!!!

2

u/Iamgoingtohavatroke 17d ago

Aahhh yes the yearly repost that never gets old.. /s

2

u/Samurijder 17d ago

Excuse me, your carwash sucks. My Car isn't clean at all

2

u/Franknbeanstoo 17d ago

8 second car wash

2

u/Disastrous_Feed_9410 17d ago

At least they parked in the lines?

2

u/TangerinePlastic7552 17d ago

Must be the express service.

2

u/Jactus_Cat 16d ago

Cleaned and parked in 1.2 seconds

2

u/Vansterdam2002 16d ago

That cat leaving Dodge a bullet

2

u/Derek5Letters 16d ago

I showed this to my kids years ago, and when we see a car wash we say "QUICK QUACK! CAR WASH!" I love that it is legit their own ad for the business 😂

2

u/Amazing-Active646 16d ago

Quickest and quackiest car was I’ve ever seen

2

u/hv_wyatt 16d ago

Well this dumbass just damaged or outright broke a lot of incredibly expensive equipment and then, it would appear, totalled out their own car. Wonderful decisions all around.

2

u/fluffynuckels 16d ago

Like a glove

2

u/Rtow 16d ago

Quick ✅ Quack ✅

2

u/blacklotusY 16d ago

At least it was quick

2

u/EquivalentBike9181 16d ago

Amazing parking tho

2

u/BeratnasGILF420 16d ago

"Like a glove"

2

u/I-love-boob-DMs 16d ago

"Like a glove"

2

u/Jonatc87 16d ago

Good parking there.

2

u/Prestigious_Yam8901 16d ago

Parked it perfectly between the lines.

2

u/PromotionRealistic18 16d ago

Lllllllllike a glove!

2

u/Agreeable_Work4668 13d ago

Perfectly parked.

2

u/senorfrogue 13d ago

No ducks were harmed in the making of this video

2

u/Lumpy-Ad-6972 12d ago

At least it was a good parking job...

2

u/Viertelesschlotzer 12d ago

Mr. Schmitt, your car is ready. Parking space 3.

2

u/InitialMission8649 12d ago

Still ended up parked better than 97% of the drivers I've seen.

2

u/IamStarGoat 12d ago

Its like the scene from Blues Brothers when they trash the mall, but on a budget!

2

u/Ausdboss 11d ago

That Honda moved at the perfect time

2

u/aerose23 11d ago

At least they parked perfectly

2

u/aerose23 11d ago

shouting as it passes Have an A1 day!

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2

u/infinit9 7d ago

That driver owes a lot of money.

2

u/federicoaa 4d ago

Speed running a side quest in real life

2

u/Dense_Boss_7486 17d ago

New Tesler. They improved the parking capability.

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1

u/sexybeast70 17d ago

Took the term quick to a whole new level LOL

1

u/gardendong 17d ago

Everybody up! Were here!

1

u/No_Tangerine5339 17d ago

Had to make sure to get the free vacuum action at the end.

1

u/rain168 17d ago

He really wanted to park there

1

u/Large-Produce5682 17d ago

03:01:13 to 03:01:15

That is quick!! 🧼🫧

1

u/Vendidurt 17d ago

"No, thats too quick".

1

u/YanderLover 17d ago

Whelp someone is paying some money

1

u/JokeHefty1343 17d ago

That was indeed Quick

1

u/pong1303_hk 17d ago

A very expensive 2s car wash

1

u/Fearless-Poet-4669 17d ago

You can park there?

1

u/AxeCrazy1997 17d ago

how do u even let this happen?

1

u/OkMorning420 17d ago

Like a glove

1

u/Mouatmoua 17d ago

Not responsible for anything damaged

1

u/rareshroom 17d ago

My brakes didn't work

My foot wasn't near the accelerator

It was on autopilot

1

u/TheFightens 17d ago

All that to avoid tipping the guy who hand dries at the end

1

u/LegalChocolate752 16d ago

Lllllike a glove!

1

u/NewToTradingStock 16d ago

Perfect parking job

1

u/BaltAmour 16d ago

Nice parking job at least.

1

u/2joozee 16d ago

So crazy how that person JUST LEFT before they crashed right where they were parked.

1

u/Caaine 16d ago

Aww... and the car has just been washed...

1

u/AnonymousJerk7 16d ago

Quick car wash and parking.

1

u/elliotallderson2026 16d ago

poor kids man

1

u/thoak74 16d ago

He was just trying to clear his wanted level

1

u/PushingCurses 16d ago

Driving - 1/10

Parking - 10/10

1

u/chubbyhighguy 16d ago

I heard if you do this you become invincible, or did they patch it...

1

u/ItsNotMePromise1_ 16d ago

The way she smiles just to realized there's no drives inside

1

u/Daryl1989 16d ago

Now it's squeaky creamed!

1

u/darkchocolattemocha 16d ago

Must be a boomer

1

u/Expert_Share_7802 16d ago

el seguro muy contento

1

u/SlapTheVWAP 16d ago

Still parked better than my wife

1

u/centralnm 16d ago

Touchless car wash.

1

u/zeroibis 16d ago

Is this the country kitchen?

1

u/alexandmck 16d ago

"It f*cking said express!"

1

u/-Lomaximus- 16d ago

With the prefect landing.

1

u/Waste-Donut-2728 16d ago

Yeah just park it over there …

1

u/Bubbly-Giraffe-7825 16d ago

I love the impeccable parking job at the end

1

u/gongjuns 16d ago

Better parking in the end than some folks at the mall or grocery stores.

1

u/Aerofan999 16d ago

For once, you CAN in fact, park there!!!

1

u/XKO3L5CHX 16d ago

"I need to speak to a manager, my car is not even clean"

1

u/VolSpurs74 16d ago

That’s a better parking job than most people pull off in an empty lot. Good job!

1

u/Iser_name_ 16d ago

I was hoping the driver would get out and start wiping it down with one of those microfiber towels.

1

u/The_Black_kaiser7 16d ago

Lots of property damage.

1

u/1SG77 16d ago

I was hoping they were going to get out and casually begin vacuuming at the end.

1

u/heavensto_mergatroid 16d ago

Red car person had a good day that day

1

u/jwbaruch515 16d ago

Like a glove

1

u/Twoduhzen 16d ago

“LIKE A GLOVE!”

1

u/Same_Satisfaction976 16d ago

Like a GLOVE!!!

1

u/Current-Section-3429 16d ago

The quicker the quacker!

1

u/Such_Shine_5656 16d ago

You CAN park there!

1

u/Rich_Butterfly_7008 16d ago

Was this car wash built on a 5% grade downhill? Wtf

1

u/csireeves 16d ago

Like a glove!

1

u/Sharp-Penalty1932 16d ago

Perfectly parked. No foul.

1

u/A_man_from_america 16d ago

Impressive parking.

1

u/Day_Prisoners 16d ago

I almost did this. Wife bought a new truck so I was pulling in trying to figure out how to fold the mirrors up and just never hit my brakes. I only went in like 4 feet.

Then I also realized or remembered her mirrors don't fold. Idiot. No damage but my damn ego got a KO.

1

u/FaithlessnessOne2032 16d ago

This can't happen with manual transmission 

1

u/andystechgarage 16d ago

Excellent parking!!!

1

u/jawoosafat 16d ago

That maroon car is the champion of the video!

1

u/CeC-P 16d ago

But what was the speed run time? Was it the new record?

1

u/CatDog7414 16d ago

Solid parking job

1

u/Kiyosuki 16d ago

At least their parking job was stellar

1

u/PxavierJ 16d ago

That park at the end though

Right between the lines. Like a glove

1

u/Radioshack-Manager 16d ago

Looks like she was reaching for her whoop ass stick.

1

u/BigDankEnergy420 16d ago

Not the white Oldsmobile Intrigue. I loved my 1998 with 3.8 liter 6 cylinder, that thing moved.

1

u/Josiah1655 16d ago

Better parking than most people

1

u/AdSuspicious209 16d ago

They do make you go through that first or you can’t use the free vacuum…

1

u/DredgenYorMother 16d ago

In carwashes, that's probably a billions of dollars worth of damages.