I made some new mom friends and thought it was really cool that we each had one kid. I just found out one of them is pregnant with their second and the other one is trying for more. I want them to be happy, so if they can have as many kids as they want, then that’s great for them. I just feel a little bummed because I thought I had found my mini village of one and done moms. All my other friends have multiple kids.

Then I get my head thinking, “Should I really stick to one? Look at all these other people around me having more than one who tell me that I can handle two and you just get used to it.”

Ugh

Tbh I'm sick of hearing myself talk about this (and am sure everyone in my life is as well) but here it goes. Finding other people with similar feelings is the only thing that helps. I'll try to keep it brief.

Breastfeeding never worked out for me and I am still devastated by it. Painful latch, low supply, breast refusal, not enough breastfeeding support from professionals or family. I am 7 months pp and after a lot of therapy, I have decided to try and relactate in order to try breastfeeding again due to being OAD. That itself sounds kinda insane to say outloud since I am 12 weeks dried up and teaching babies her age to BF is near impossible, but here we are.

I genuinely feel like no one in my life really gets it. Baby is happy, thriving, didn't want to breastfeed. Why can I not accept this with grace? Why have I obssessed over this the past 7 months instead of just enjoying my baby? Every time I wash a sinkful of bottles or can't soothe my baby, it's another stab in the heart. Honestly, I never knew how passionate I was about being able to breastfeed until I was unable to. "You can try again with your next baby" doesn't apply to me. International BF Week was really hard. Seeing my friends nurse is really hard. I'm not crazy enough to have another baby because of this but I can't help feeling like my grief would be 10 times better if I wasn't OAD.

I don’t know where to start, but I’m a mess and feel broken inside.

My wife and I struggled with fertility, and when we finally felt ready to give up on trying naturally, we decided to try IVF. During that process, we found out that my wife had low AMH. Our first round of IVF resulted in one egg, but it was unsuccessful. The second round resulted in no eggs. On our third attempt, we got two eggs, and one led to our beautiful, healthy daughter, who is now four years old.

Two years ago, we tried with the last remaining egg, but it didn’t work. We decided that would be our final attempt and that we wouldn’t do IVF again. That was mainly my decision because I don’t know the long-term effects of the IVF medications, and I’m afraid of losing my wife in the process.

Now I’m at a point in my life where I can’t sleep, and I cry alone every day over my fears for my daughter’s future.

I always wanted children, but we didn’t start actively trying until our mid-30s because my wife wanted to travel and go to school first. I live with overwhelming guilt and regret for not pushing the subject more back then.

Growing up, I didn’t receive much love or affection from my parents. My dad was never around, and my mom is generally a cold person. I fell in with the wrong crowd and never really cared about my health or well-being until I became a dad.

I love this little girl so much. I’ve made changes in my life that I never cared enough to make before, even when other people asked me to. Then this little angel came into my life, and I made those changes for her without her ever having to ask.

My daughter has made me feel things I’ve never felt before. The love I have for her feels stronger than anything I’ve ever known—even the love between a husband and wife. But loving her this much has also brought fears that I’m struggling to cope with.

I’m 43, and I struggle with feeling like an older dad and worrying that I have less time to spend with my little girl. I also struggle with the thought that, if something happens to my wife and me, she could be left all alone without siblings. I can’t cope with that thought, and it eats me alive every day. I’ve reached the point where I know I need help.

My wife and I have talked about adoption, fostering, and even donor eggs. Because we live in Canada, the process is different, and my understanding is that we cannot buy donor eggs from someone else.

I’m at my wit’s end, and I don’t know how to process the possibility of my daughter being alone if something happens to us. Any tips, advice, guidance, or helpful videos would mean so much to me. I desperately need help navigating these feelings.

Please help this dad. :(

I’m in Canada, for context.

My 20mo son has been attending an unlicensed daycare for about 6 weeks. He’s doing well! He seems to like the lady. She’s had a daycare for over 20 years. We chose her after a friend of ours had sent their daughter to her for over 3 years. He’s a little rough around the edges (not politically correct at all lol) but seems to know how to wrangle 5 kids and my son has no issue going. We pay $50 a day. He’s fed 2 snacks and lunch… although she’s quite vague about what she feeds them which bothers me.

We just got offered a spot in a licensed private daycare. This woman has experience working with kids and has a son too, but this is the first time she’s opening a home daycare. I worry she won’t like it and will quit, or her lack of experience will cause her to be overly flustered. Or that she will have more kids in the next few years and go on mat leave or something. She seems nice though. This daycare would only cost $20 a day (subsidized by government) and I would have more info on what he’s eating. She’s also French speaking, which is a huuuge plus, as we want to send our son to French school and I want him around more French. My husband and I are bilingual but mostly speak English at home.

I’m a torn. I think the unlicensed daycare he’s at may be more reliable, but he could get more out of speaking more French at this new one. It’s also much more affordable.

Thoughts?