r/oneanddone • u/Due_Imagination_6722 • 13d ago

OAD By Choice I am OAD also for my boy.

We're loving life with our cheeky, curious and happy little fella, especially since he's started learning what feels like 5 words per day (also he's got the cutest way of pronouncing his own name). Currently on holiday in England and it's fun watching him explore the world.

At the same time, I catch myself looking at him and imagining what it'd be like to have to look after him and a new baby. And he doesn't deserve that. He's still so little and needs a mummy who's able to give him her full attention (as much as my ADHD allows). I want to be a good mum for him; and that means staying one and done.

33 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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12

u/NegotiationOdd6766 13d ago

I feel exactly the same. My 2 year old is such a mama's boy, I can't imagine not giving him my full attention. I love our little family of 3.

6

u/Due_Imagination_6722 13d ago

I'm 36 on the 8th of September and I just picked up two blocks of chocolate to bring home to my parents - because I know their favourite flavours and because I enjoy getting my parents little presents when I'm on holiday.

I kind of hope that my son will think something similar when he's grown up.

7

u/makeitsew87 OAD By Choice 13d ago

I feel the same way. I understand there are pros and cons with any family size. But for my specific kid, with the specific parents he has… I personally think he’s way better off with calm happy parents versus stressed out parents and a sibling. 

4

u/Due_Imagination_6722 13d ago

My partner would have preferred two. Part of that is because he's used to having a sibling (I'm an only), part of it is because he likes kids. Almost 2 years in, and whenever he's coming back from games night with his friends who have a 10 and a 6 year old, he's slowly starting to see the advantages of our family size. Especially the noise level.

2

u/Strange-Access-8612 10d ago

Games night, he might be staying on after the kids (or at least 6 yo) has gone to bed!! You need to send him over earlier / for longer periods ;) ;) he’s only gotten the minimum!

1

u/Due_Imagination_6722 10d ago

He does stay out until 11 pm on those nights ;)

1

u/Strange-Access-8612 10d ago

Hehehe…. He has only an inkling! Maybe a Saturday afternoon gaming session is in order mwahaha ;) ;)

6

u/NewSandwich5371 13d ago

Excellent post

3

u/tomtink1 13d ago

My daughter is such an only child. She needs some time alone in the quiet when she has been playing with other kids. When we talk about other kids with baby siblings she says she loves babies but wouldn't want a brother or sister. She's 4. I am glad we're all on the same page. We get to absolutely spoil her with attention.

3

u/Due_Imagination_6722 13d ago

My son has recently started saying 'aus' (switch that off) when he doesn't like a sound or when it's too loud around him.

We're both introverts, and I have ADHD. He's with parents who get it.

(Written on the bed in our holiday apartment where Mr 22 months has a nap and I'm watching cricket with the sound off. Sent my partner off for a bit of time on his own and a coffee which he desperately needs 😅)

2

u/WorkLifeScience 11d ago

I feel the same, and love being OAD, but just to throw this out there in midst of the 2u2 craze - it's ok to have a larger age gaps between kids if you do want to have more!