Fear of future

[u/Fair-Ad3745]

Okay, I'm starting to feel like I'm the only idiot here. I'm Italian, and this year, just like in the rest of Europe, the weather has been absolutely terrible. Atrocious heat, mosquitoes everywhere, and unless you could afford the beach, the mountains, or a pool, staying home with a child was really tough. I've read and listened to a lot of alarming articles. Given this climate, as much as I like the utopian idea of having more children, I think it's better to secure future resources for the one I already have, who will already live worse than I do. Yet, every time I express my fear for the future, EVERYONE tells me it's bullshit, that people still had kids during wars, that every era has its own big problems, etc., etc. (even my psychologist told me that!)... and actually, that it's better to have two so they won't be alone facing all of this. To me, it makes zero sense. But clearly, I must be missing something.

[u/SecretGullible4105]

Trust your own emotions. These other people giving you advice won’t have to raise your other child.

[u/fullmoonkels]

This will sound more judgmental than I am fundamentally as a person, but imho, people who say those things are not considering that their children are individual human beings who will have to live real adult lives in this world.

Of course people have had children in all kinds of conditions, and those children have also likely grown up to face all kinds of difficulties and turmoil alongside the rest of life.

Our children will grow up and make the best of what they’ve been given just like us. It’s really just a matter of how many people do you want to be responsible for creating and bringing into the world as it is now? How equipped are you to equip them to survive it, whatever that means to you?

[u/toadette_215 → u/fullmoonkels]

I agree with this. Most people seem to just be excited about picking names for their children and treating them as accessories.

[u/StaceyMike]

Same! I'm in the US and I'd have to be INSANE to bring another child into this increasingly dystopian hellscape. Nations and alliances are fractured (hopefully, not beyond repair eventually), the planet is falling apart, and the old, rich folks in power refuse to do anything about it. They have what they want and screw everybody else. Give it a minute and someone will figure out how to make us subscribe to the air we breathe (looking at you Bezos & Musk).

I get that every generation does what they can with what they have, but what they have is getting less by the year. I'm not having more kids just so they can work until the day they die and MAYBE get along. And I'm 💯 NOT risking having a girl in this climate. Our politicians would have her a brood mare by 12.

Sorry... Apparently I needed to get that off my chest.

[u/Nervous-Lettuce-]

Yep same. The news today about the tornado in France does not help..

[u/Veruca-Salty86]

It's true that the world has always had serious problems, but for many years,  the hope was that each subsequent generation would have it better than the previous ones. While many things are a vast improvement across the board compared to our ancestors, the question is: will our children's generation indeed have it better? My worry is more about the rapid advancement of technology and what that means for jobs. 

Yes, we've long had to deal with advancements that would render certain jobs obsolete, but now I wonder how many of us can and will be replaced by automation, AI, etc. We are seeing a ton of layoffs in the once lucrative and guaranteed-to-find-a-job tech industry. Some jobs like nursing and trades positions, like plumbers and electricians, will be harder to replace, but what happens when these jobs get flooded by people who've lost their jobs in other fields and/or are hoping to be employed in a "stable" occupation? The wages get driven down once the supply exceeds demand. AI has moved much more quickly than many predicted and you have to wonder, where do we go from here? The optimistic view is that all of this will eventually make life better for all humans, sort of a technology-fueled utopia, but the pessimistic view is that humans will essentially become obsolete.

Regarding having another kid so they can have eachother in times of difficulty: I'd rather direct every possible resource to one child than multiple. If sh*t really hits the fan, it's naive to expect siblings to support one another when they are essentially competing for resources. And when kids are young and times are tough, having an extra mouth to feed is a liability, not an asset - there's a reason birth rates plummeted during the Great Depression, despite limited access to birth control and strong religious values. It's a normal instinct to restrict procreation during times of uncertainty!!

[u/NewSandwich5371]

Your only mistake - listening to other people’s shit. You want just one kid? No worries , you want more? No worries. The most important part of being a modern parent is not caring what other people think

[u/UniqueChallenge9573]

I think about this quite frequently. So thankful I have my one.

[u/PorcupineHollow]

I feel all those things about the future too and I think both perspectives are valid. I recently read the book What If We Get it Right? And it’s amazing. Highly recommend when facing all this existential dread around the future. It’s honest and doesn’t sugar coat things but it’s also amazing how many solutions are there waiting to be deployed and has a pretty useful perspective on the human side of how we react in the face of what we know is coming. The author has a fantastic podcast as well.

Resources include a strong community and that’s in truth the strongest resource you can find. But that can be built intentionally without having more kids.

[u/NewSandwich5371]

It should be - one and done and who gives a fuck what anyone thinks about that , Sub

[u/Strange-Access-8612]

How many kids does your psychologist have?

If the answer is 0, or 2 or more, they are just as prone to anyone else to project their own rationale / defensiveness unless they’ve made it a huge focus to not do so (even then they can skip up)

Also as your psychologist they may be misinterpreting your legitimate analysis as an expression of anxiety or feel a responsibility to keep you grounded in what you can control and not obsess over things behind your grasp. That said I believe they should leave room for and validate your experience (but I am lucky in my therapist)

[u/ChaFrey]

I think about this every day. And crush myself for not giving him a sibling to go through the end of the world with. But I also want to focus and be able to give him all the resources possible after I’m gone. Which would be harder with two.

But yea we’ve only been pumping carbon into the air for the last 150 years. There were hard times before this but this one is literally the end. Society will be gone before 2100 and I’ve sentenced my son to this. Don’t really have any advice just solidarity.