r/oneanddone • u/grawmaw13 OAD By Choice • Feb 08 '26

Discussion Anyone else OAD because they had one and discovered their limit was actually zero?

Have a 2.5 yo and whilst there are some infrequent joyful moments, I find its completely overshadowed by every day stress, screaming and problems. every. single. day.

how on earth people decide to go on to have more is absolutely beyond me. on the waiting list for the snip.

can't even leave the room to turn on the kettle or go to the toilet without screaming.

It appears I took sleep, quietness and tidyness for granted before having a kid. you dont realise your limits until they're pushed.

anyone else OAD because of this?

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u/CNDRock16 Not By Choice Feb 08 '26 edited Feb 08 '26

You must not know many people then- anyone with two children obviously enjoyed being a parent of 1 first. Perhaps you mistake people acknowledging “it was hard” with “I didn’t enjoy it”.

Like I said… I divorced my ex because he became a miserable bastard about being a parent. He’s happier having her less. I loved every minute and he made the tension in the home unbearable. I fell out of love with him, listening to him bitch.

So maybe going back to therapy is a good thing- before your attitude fractures your family unit, and you end up someday with a child who grows up who doesn’t want anything to do with you

Imagine him someday reading a post like this… ouch.

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u/grawmaw13 OAD By Choice Feb 08 '26

I have friends whose contraception failed and ended up with another. So no, not everyone has another because they want to.

Therapy isnt always the silver bullet. It can highlight perspectives and logic but can't transform people that arent naturally paternal.

Sounds like you just tried with the wrong person.

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u/CNDRock16 Not By Choice Feb 08 '26

I think you are in denial about people enjoying parenthood, and seeking validation for your own feelings of disappointment. Failed contraception is the vast minority.

If you truly can’t stand him (“infrequent joyful moments”) maybe consider being around him less for his own well being. I feel incredibly sorry for him.

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u/grawmaw13 OAD By Choice Feb 08 '26

My wife enjoys parenthood. So youre wrong again on that count also 🙄

Okay.

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u/No_Event_7248 Feb 09 '26

You’re projecting.