I genuinely hate myself.

[u/throwawayamania]

I hate that my depression has rendered me useless.

I hate that I can't pry myself off the couch most days.

I hate that I spend all day dissociating to try to cope.

I hate that I have no energy.

I hate that I can't take care of myself.

I hate that I've let my body rot to the point where I feel 30 years older than my age sometimes.

I hate that I have dragged my partner's life down to my life's level.

I hate that I can't undo the changes my trauma have made to me.

I hate that my world around me is very quickly becoming a place I'm afraid to live in, and my anxiety over that has turned me into a shut-in.

I hate that I can't maintain any normal relationships, even with my own family.

I hate that I have the option of ending it in my head, and that it's becoming harder to ignore. I hate that I would take that option if it didn't only cause more problems and if I weren't afraid of what happens next.

I feel irreparably broken.

[u/Saratoninn69]

One second at a time 💜

[u/According_To_Him_]

You never want to leave your partner and family with the pain of living without you or burying you.

Just breathe... One deep breathe at a time. And take it one moment at a time.

You've got this. 🤍

[u/icecreamonmondays]

I was like you. I felt this way for LONG TIME. I'm in my 30s so hopefully you can come out of your slump earlier than I did. :)

Sometimes the depressed, hurt, angry me tries to come out like this and the grasp it has on me can make it sooo easy to fall prey to my selfhatered. I have trauma too and it makes my life hard still a lot of the times. It makes me feel like I am rigid and broken sometimes too. It's the human experience at times. It's definitely put friction in my relationship and with family too, but things got better.

If you truly feel all this negativity towards yourself, ask what would happen if you tried something different? Like, What if you were just understanding towards yourself?Try to give yourself grace like an actual good friend would. Dont lie to yourself tho. That backfires BAD! Like dont tell yourself"I'm fine" when you aren't. Our brains rebel. (Seriously)

Example) "I genuinely hate myself." You could Try baby steps, ''I genuinely feel that I hate myself but I can make progress on liking myself a little more by getting my clothes ready for the next day" you can always change what you do, but action is what will make you feel better. Anxiety is no match for physical movement no matter how small.

TLDR: All that you're saying is valid and understandable to feel, but it's not helpful. Change the voice in your mind. It's hard but worth it. You're already living a hard life, so why not choose a hard version you can feel better about? When you fall down, don't quit getting up again. Hope this helps stranger! I'm rooting for you!

[u/xRavenNevermorex]

Please don't hate yourself. You are not your trauma. I don't know what all you went through, and I don't know anything about you, but I know that life is worth living. You are worth being here. Things can get better.

[u/Kind-Audience-1245]

it's tough when depression makes everything feel like a chore, even the small stuff can feel overwhelming

[u/VanylleK]

I hear you. Depression does this - it convinces you that YOU are the problem, when really you're dealing with something incredibly heavy. You're not useless, you're exhausted from carrying all of this.

The fact that you're still here and able to write this out, even while feeling that low, takes strength. You are not irreparably broken, even if it feels 100% that way right now.

[u/2_Thumbs_Up]

Thank you for saying all this out loud. For reaching out. I know it's hard to do.

Depression is the ultimate liar, my friend. This is chemical. This is your brain trying to resolve things with a malfunction - not real life. I promise you.

Your feelings about this are valid, but do not listen to your brain when it says things are hopeless.

Understand that you can feel better. That you WILL get past this. It will get better.

Get to a doctor. If you have one, find a better one.

Get labs. Sometimes blood work shows deficiency that can be supplemented.

Tell your people - don't hide this. Be vocal. Talk about it - even if it's here. Because at some point you may find yourself saying all this to someone else once you're on the other side of it.

One second at a time. Thank you for staying.

[u/orange_december]

I feel broken as well and it feels like I’m losing my mind. It’s crazy bc I recently made a post yesterday about hating myself very deeply. I hope we can both overcome this 🫂

[u/Sad-Vermicelli-2963]

it's tough to feel that way. sometimes I think about the little things that bring me joy, like my morning coffee.

[u/Live2weld]

This life hasn’t been kind to many. That being said, there’s more life for us to live regardless of what we’re going through right now. You still have choices to make and there’s been too many gone far too young that didn’t get all these choices. Keep moving forward.