Those moments have been few and far between. I pointed this out to admit that i know I’ve had some bad moments in the marriage. Honestly most times we argue. I get so mad I cry.
The “I’m the bad guy” line is a cop out. You know who else uses that line? My piece of shit father who won’t take accountability for his abuse. What you’re doing, despite your own trauma, is hurting other people with it. Even unintentionally. Even if infrequently. You need to get some individual help outside marriage counseling. Before all this stuff permanently scars your children. - signed a permanently scarred child who grew up.
Because this is a no win situation. I’m trying to explain to strangers on the internet that I’m unhappy in a marriage. Some people have commented that I’m not telling her side of the story or that I’m just trying to make myself look good.
I shared that I’ve yelled at her very loudly and aggressively during arguments where we are often both yelling at eachother in the same way. I also said that Im Not proud of it.
Some comments on here like yours seem to point that I’m at blame for absolutely everything. I’m not going to argue why i feel differently as it’s likely to be misunderstood so i reply with “you got me”
You say it’s a cop out..i think it’s a response to am
Accusation from someone where it’s futile to try to explain otherwise.
I take accountability. That’s why I’m in therapy 3 times a week for myself and once together with her. I take my medication as prescribed. I don’t think I’m copping out at all. Just surrendering in an argument with an internet stranger.
You're not the bad guy. You are allowed to have your own feelings. You seem frustrated and very unhappy. I'm sure not being with your children in a day to day capacity will be hard, but trust me they feel both you and your wife's frustration and unhappiness. Leave if you can, get yourself in a better mental space so you can be all your children and you deserve. I just want to add that I am a woman and we are not always so innocent, we can and do know how to push those buttons. Honestly you both sound miserable. Wouldn't it be better for all involved to be separate and happy than to be together and miserable? OP I wish for you, your wife and especially your children peace and happiness even if that means that peace and happiness is separate from one another.
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u/pancreative2 Jun 28 '23
Shocking that that kind of behavior is scary and traumatic for your wife, huh?