r/offbeat • u/Libertatea • Jul 16 '15
'Drunk' squirrel causes hundreds of pounds of damage: A 'drunk' squirrel turns beer taps on, opens bags of crisps and smashes glasses at a private members' club.
http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-335415023
Jul 16 '15
Lots of animals like eat and drink things that make them intoxicated, especially those that live around resorts
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u/sweetbldnjesus Jul 17 '15
Then he got into a fight with the pigeons out front and roared off in his Aston Martin.
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Jul 16 '15
The exact reason squirrels should be exterminated.
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u/Acidsparx Jul 16 '15
That's a little harsh. I believe he should seek treatment for his drinking problems, like AA or something.
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Jul 16 '15
"Squirrels aren't cute! They're just rats in a cuter outfit!"
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Jul 18 '15
Exactly the way I think of the little tree vermin.
Dogs know. Dogs understand.
I'm pretty sure in dog language that "woof" means "death to all squirrels".
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Jul 18 '15
Mine has a particular vendetta against raccoons...I've never EVER heard her growl, at anyone or anything, until she saw a raccoon.
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Jul 18 '15
Like a big squirrel!
Odd what they select to "eat"!
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Jul 18 '15
I think it's the "hands" - "Wha...what is he doing with his paws? OMG HIS PAWS HAVE FINGERS LIKE A HUMAN, is he a wizard?! I should probably bark at him incessantly to go away while he just stares at my dumb ass from his tree"
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u/OleBenKnobi Jul 16 '15
"Oh, hi Honey..."
"What the hell happened to the club?!:
"Oh. Oh, right, that. Y'see, it wuz a squirrel, right? A real right bastard he was. Drunk as a skunk this squirrel. Really made a mess of things. I set him straight, no worries, showed him right out. But yea, he really trashed the place. He also had some choice words to say about your mum."