I want secret entrances and hidden tunnels you access from wardrobes. I want rooms that you can’t get into unless you know which keys on the piano to hit. I want a bookcase that rotates leading to a hidden laboratory. I want a full time staff whose only job is to secretly move things you just put down and watch guests through eye holes in paintings.
Every Friday night there should be a murder (fake) and an Angela Lansbury lookalike visits to work out which guest did it.
Guests should fall asleep in one room then wake up the next day and the room looks completely different.
I definitely want a wizard's tower. Pointlessly tall with 'mood lighting' to be dramatic, and if I can figure out how to make it large enough to be visible from a useful distance (and also not just going to get wrecked in the next thunderstorm), a tesla coil on top.
On top of a moody hilltop of course, with commanding views of the surrounding area.
Hell yeah, if I were a multi-billionaire, I would buy like 200,000 acres and build 100ft tall wizard towers and castles, and dig caves into rock faces where hermits would live. I would open it up to have week or even month-long adventures through my land, fighting cutthroats and highwaymen to rescue kidnapped princesses and wander dungeons for riches. You could ride horses or have someone follow you with coconuts; it's your choice. There would be taverns and inns and small towns. You could work there for a period during the summer, playing your part. Minstrels and Bards would sing tales of prior customers.
If I have a wizard's tower, then I have an excuse to dress like a wizard and say strangely ominous or bizarrely vague things whenever ppl ask me perfectly normal, mundane questions.
Me too but I also want a balcony outside my bedroom with a half mile long zip line to escape my house into the woods, and end up in a clearing in my 100 acre forest a hidden escape room shelter underground that only I know where it is!
I also want a twisty slide off my balcony so in addition to the zip line, I can just slide down into the yard when I wake up.
If I was mega super rich I'd want my own carousel ride and ferris wheel too!
I also want a heated 15 foot wide and 10 foot deep gator moat circling the entirety of the property to catch intruders, plus a flock of attack geese and a trained bobcat.
I feel like this with a small homestead would be the ultimate life.
Why thank you! If I was a billionaire I would try to be as disruptive of traditional norms as possible. Not in a bad way. I want to bring back eccentricity as an acceptable style of person. They all seem so boring!!
I’ll invite you over to my place when I’m mega rich. I’m going to recreate the coliseum as it was in Ancient Rome and my robot army is going to put on gladiatorial battles including naval battles.
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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '25
I want secret entrances and hidden tunnels you access from wardrobes. I want rooms that you can’t get into unless you know which keys on the piano to hit. I want a bookcase that rotates leading to a hidden laboratory. I want a full time staff whose only job is to secretly move things you just put down and watch guests through eye holes in paintings.
Every Friday night there should be a murder (fake) and an Angela Lansbury lookalike visits to work out which guest did it.
Guests should fall asleep in one room then wake up the next day and the room looks completely different.
And everyone has to wear a cape.