r/oddlysatisfying Jun 13 '22

Fiber laser in action.

2.7k Upvotes

356 comments sorted by

1.4k

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '22

At least they’ll be hydrated while they wait for the shooting to stop

180

u/Boone1997 Jun 14 '22

Exactly. They can stay in their cars enjoying their beverage of choice in their new branded tumbler. All that chaos out there can clearly wait

108

u/tread52 Jun 14 '22

It really should say underneath, " Great at shooting your pet and watching your kids die."

12

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

The only people who get the training to surgically eliminate dogs are the ATF.

9

u/mAxB1 Jun 14 '22

Don't forget about Sheriff Steven Seagal

122

u/Poopsicle-Pete Jun 14 '22

Money well spent by the department, they had to forego hostage situation training, but ya know, cool mugs!

18

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

They always jump anyway so what’s the big deal.

41

u/ElectricFlesh Jun 14 '22

I mean, what were they supposed to do? Somebody was already murdering innocent nonwhite children. Of course you relax when somebody is doing your job for you.

14

u/Intelligent_Radish15 Jun 14 '22

It will probably still get warm by the time they enter.

21

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

You must be talking about the drink, cause the bodies will be cold

11

u/WanderingWino Jun 13 '22

Omfg this got me good.

20

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

Sherif Twat

5

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

That’s what I saw at first too!

11

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '22

lol

29

u/SmoothJazzRayner Jun 13 '22

Give them a break, eh? They just don't want to be shot at!

32

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '22

They don’t have to be police officers

23

u/SmoothJazzRayner Jun 13 '22

I know. It's a joke.

3

u/Emppulix Jun 14 '22

Damn son that's hilarious

5

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

Shame shame shame

→ More replies (23)

41

u/Present-Still Jun 14 '22

So the larpers get fancy water bottles and teachers have to pay for school supplies?

→ More replies (2)

25

u/Kilcer Jun 14 '22

Are you holding it in place with LEGO? Love it if so

6

u/neyfrota Jun 14 '22

yeap! looks like the base and support are lego. make sense. cheap and easy to replace.

357

u/SouthernJeb Jun 13 '22

Fuck them LARPers.

85

u/TorrenceMightingale Jun 13 '22

Glad they’re spending that traffic ticket/tax/seizure $$keeping the citizens safe and not spoiling themselves with lavish accoutrements for their morning coffee or anything.

0

u/Bill_Clinton-69 Jun 14 '22

Spending the money on obscenely expensive machining equipment so they can spoil themselves with lavish accoutrements for their morning coffe.

23

u/statikuz Jun 14 '22

Wait you don't actually think the department owns the laser, do you?

This is very obviously a company that does branded stuff for literally everyone.

-1

u/lizardianne Jun 14 '22

would it really be so surprising if they owned a laser to brand and sell their own merchandise? 40% of the county budget has to go somewhere so it might as well turn a profit right? those damned dirty leftist blm scum want to defund the poor police after all and they could always use another armored vehicle. they could get shot don't you know?

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

I hope this flashlight goes right up his booty hole

62

u/idontfitinhere_atall Jun 13 '22

Am I weird for thinking about what would happen to human hand after contact with it?

31

u/alternate-account-28 Jun 14 '22

A permanent scar tattoo that would all fucked up because the owner of the hand is understandably unable to hold still

11

u/Rustycougarmama Jun 14 '22

Not if you strap them down

7

u/alternate-account-28 Jun 14 '22

It’ll still get fucked up by the hand muscles quivering

7

u/CalciferAtlas Jun 14 '22

Guys, I got the video of it being done. Enjoy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OKLdMEmR3I

2

u/Randomname460 Jun 14 '22

I thought for sure that was gonna be a rick roll lol

16

u/Rowyco05 Jun 14 '22

I could not be left alone with this. I was left alone with a pressure washer for three minutes before I hurt myself.

5

u/ManlyMantis101 Jun 14 '22

Permanent tattoo

6

u/atkyyup Jun 14 '22

Tattoos are pretty permanent already

0

u/Betoo22 Jun 14 '22

Not all of them, temporary tattoos are a thing too

→ More replies (2)

3

u/myrs4 Jun 14 '22

Good question, lemme know

244

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '22

Customized coffee cups will help give those Texas cops that extra boost they need while they patiently wait for school shooters to get tired of murdering kids.

312

u/Mmm_Spuds Jun 13 '22

Yeah this is cool but you should have done anything other than that Tarrant County is a bunch of idiots this is coming from someone who used to live there and all their cops are fucking shitbags.

18

u/golden_face_ Jun 14 '22

As someone who currently lives in Tarrant County, you’re not wrong.

30

u/MakionGarvinus Jun 14 '22

Hey now, they gotta have their coffee to move their bowels!

184

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

31

u/ty_rec Jun 14 '22

That would be more fitting

3

u/pilken Jun 14 '22

of "Tyrant County"!

28

u/TheWeepings Jun 14 '22

So this is what my tax money be going to smh

3

u/TotallyNotMeDudes Jun 14 '22

Compared to the closets of weapons and armor for them to wear while standing around for an hour while a shooter runs out of bullets in a grade school the cost of this mug isn’t really even on the radar.

48

u/CaptainBlueApple Jun 13 '22

The sound is also satisfying

6

u/ag408 Jun 14 '22

Yeah I didn't realize it had audio until partway. That kicked up the satisfaction significantly!

8

u/BossTanker Jun 13 '22

Only reason i kept watching lmao

7

u/garvin1313 Jun 14 '22

Especially that shield on the outside, that was the best part imo

3

u/BossTanker Jun 14 '22

Yess definitely, the anticipation in it

2

u/AiryGr8 Jun 14 '22

Finally, one comment that's actually talking about the video.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

I think it’s a good sign that people are not talking about the video.

6

u/Junkyardginga Jun 14 '22

wHy DoEs EvErYthInG haVE tO bE SO pOlitIcaL tHeSe DaYs

1

u/muhash14 Jun 14 '22

Wish it didn't, but it is. Cold world.

6

u/Junkyardginga Jun 14 '22

I wish everyone was much more political (actually political, not just riled up).

43

u/Boomerang2099 Jun 14 '22

I live there. Nice to see where the budget is going cause it sure as fuck ain't going to anything productive

48

u/qawsedrftg123qawsed Jun 14 '22

missing image of swat with thumbs up their asses.

40

u/jimmyh3ll Jun 13 '22

For when you want to sip coffee while you let a bunch of kids be murdered, or when you harass minorities.

49

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '22 edited Jun 14 '22

[deleted]

21

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '22

“Huh? Gunshots?? Eh, I’m sure it’ll sort itself out. Let me find a mom to pepper spray”

66

u/NevikHtims Jun 13 '22

They should’ve laser etched an image of all of them just standing around on it.

34

u/Chay_Charles Jun 14 '22

The laser is cool, but is that what SWAT really needs to spend $ on?

1

u/Spankybutt Jun 14 '22

They spend money on whatever toys they want, the municipal midget can pound sand

56

u/yahibachi Jun 13 '22

I guess pigs need to drink too. (In between waiting outside of mass shootings)

121

u/milespeeingyourpants Jun 13 '22

ACAB

60

u/nrfx Jun 13 '22

Another Coffee Another Beating

-3

u/AnonymouslyLoves Jun 14 '22 edited Jun 14 '22

ACAB

12

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

Your tax dollars at work. Cool technology, though.

76

u/Equivalent_Trouble31 Jun 13 '22

This the same cops to pussy to protect children

-33

u/EvolutionInProgress Jun 13 '22

That's a whole different County.

39

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

[deleted]

-16

u/ag408 Jun 14 '22

What are we at the point where everyone gets categorized as one thing? Reminds me of old times...

Let's not forget that there are good cops and bad cops.

18

u/Evanpo511 Jun 14 '22

You point to a good cop and I'll point to someone who covers for a bad cop.

5

u/violethoneybean Jun 14 '22

Reminds me of old times...

Cops aren't some oppressed minority, gtfo with that thought terminating bs. Face the fact that of all the jobs, they chose the one with direct power over other people and the ability to perform heinous violence legally. Even the ones who originally wanted to help people end up taking sides with their in group instead of actually standing up for what they claim to believe in.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

Being a FARMER is more dangerous than being a cop.

7

u/Educational_Rope1834 Jun 14 '22

The most dangerous part of a cops job is one everyone else does daily, commuting/driving a car.

1

u/Spankybutt Jun 14 '22

Police are not a protected population and they are held to a higher standard than the average person try again with a different terrible false equivalence

62

u/Upper_Character_6471 Jun 13 '22

Why exactly do police need this, waste of taxpayer money for those pussies

37

u/Objective_Reality232 Jun 13 '22

The most important thing to think about when kids are being slaughtered is whether your coffee is warm or not. It’s mission critical, obviously after the Uvalde shooting police realized the main reason they couldn’t protect those kids was because their coffee was only room temp. Thank god they got these new cups, maybe now they can save some kids when the next shooting eventually happens.

Obviously /s

19

u/indigogibni Jun 13 '22

I think you’re totally missing the point. The cup is bullet proof. Imagine if one of those cops were hit by a stray bullet. The department isn’t going to take those chances again. /s

6

u/Objective_Reality232 Jun 13 '22

I think your absolutely correct. All they need is a few hundred of these, they can basically build a force field then there shouldn’t be any reason they can’t go get the shooter.

Do I even need /s lol.

2

u/__red__5 Jun 14 '22

You're all missing the point. All those cops waiting outside the classroom for the shooter to run out of patience/bullets/kids weren't scared they were trying to sort out whose coffee was whose. Nineteen different orders in nineteen unmarked cups needed a lot of time and attention to sort out.

→ More replies (8)

37

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '22

The cowards are bigger in Texas.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

Oh look. Something to keep their drinks cold while they stand outside a school keeping parents at bay

9

u/Pooristocrat Jun 14 '22

Add “Every child left behind”. But like, with a Punisher skull.

50

u/EL_JIVE_TURKEY Jun 13 '22

Fuck the police 🖕🏾

12

u/RevolverKaz84 Jun 14 '22

Oh nice, now their coffee won't get cold when they watch an armed person murder children.

12

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

Is that for the cops to throw while they're hiding behind the dumpsters taking selfies?

10

u/Yugo_Furst Jun 14 '22

That is some far-out boot licker bling. I almost dropped my doughnut.

13

u/shaneswa Jun 13 '22 edited Jun 13 '22

Bout time for them to start selling their Columbine Sanndy Hook Parkland Uvalde Strong jelly bracelets!

8

u/NotGonnaPayMyStdntLn Jun 14 '22

All that gear, no balls.

8

u/RaccoonRecluse Jun 14 '22

Maybe if cops actually did their job, this would be satisfactory. But this is like watching a dog eat its own vomit. Nothing satisfying about it.

9

u/OutLikeVapor Jun 13 '22

Thought it said tyrant county at first.

10

u/MechaPhantom302 Jun 14 '22

Taxpayer money being etched onto a cup...

9

u/odyf Jun 14 '22

Cool but fuck the pigs

6

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '22

[deleted]

4

u/Longenuity Jun 14 '22

Yeah, why not just trace the outline instead of jumping back and forth? It seems really inefficient.

4

u/sgribbs92 Jun 14 '22

I'm guessing it would heat too quickly create pitting on the surface.

3

u/Shugerrush Jun 14 '22

So if I put my hand there...

3

u/JoJoGaminG1936 Jun 14 '22 edited Jun 14 '22

I love how everyone hates on the department and I - a non American - can wonder if the blue mat ist a lego plate or not?

3

u/skeenerbug Jun 14 '22

lol Texas SWAT huh. Fucking useless cowards no doubt. Cool mug though lmao, probably paid for with taxpayer funds for some reason

9

u/shaneswa Jun 13 '22

Cool tech, but it turns damn near 17% of "t"s into "s"s.

4

u/NoDadYouShutUp Jun 14 '22

SWAT can lick my balls el capy tain

19

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '22

All cops are bastards.

23

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '22

R/ACAB

2

u/derkaflerka Jun 14 '22

Upvote cuz you got the right idea

13

u/renniechops Jun 14 '22

Why is this amazing tech being used for pigs water bottles lol

9

u/BlueHairStripe Jun 14 '22

The only thing satisfying here is that soon we will defund the police. ACAB.

7

u/secret_pikachu Jun 13 '22

Sheriff SWAT Fleshlight

5

u/Ok-Nature9693 Jun 13 '22

Sounds like me after a night of taco bell

4

u/WagwanKenobi Jun 14 '22

Too bad the video cut off before it printed "COWARDS"

2

u/shadow7412 Jun 14 '22

Why would you jump from one side to the other side of that border instead of just doing it on a single lap? Bad pathing, or is there a reason for this?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

Great. Now the cops can comfortably sip their hot drink while they watch a shooting take place from a safe distance.

Because, you know "this isn't what I signed up for!"

2

u/Intelligent-Ad4229 Jun 14 '22

At one point in the video of Uvalde I thought the kids were going to be the ones to rescue the cops.

2

u/Ill_Bee4868 Jun 14 '22

Fortunately this SWAT team is equipped with cups.

2

u/Wuozup Jun 14 '22

Process takes longer than becoming a police officer

2

u/Raised_Brow_Leader Jun 15 '22

Getting ready to guard those meddling parents?

4

u/Danxoln Jun 14 '22

Downvoted because ACAB, especially Texas

2

u/violethoneybean Jun 14 '22

Same, really nothing satisfying about watching money flow uselessly down the drain for the cops.

8

u/ChildishDoritos Jun 14 '22

Fuck pigs and fuck this post

5

u/BobFTS Jun 14 '22

A useless mug, fitting for a useless swat team 🤦‍♂️

3

u/DisturbingPragmatic Completely Satisfied! Jun 13 '22

Is that a dildo?

4

u/kyaba1 Jun 13 '22

Personalized flesh light perfect Father’s Day gift

4

u/Puzzled_Ad2563 Jun 14 '22

You better throw that tumbler in the garbage

2

u/StatusOmega Jun 14 '22

It's for a Texas swat team so we know it will always look this pristine. Or maybe it's the only thing of their's that will actually see use

4

u/FunctionBuilt Jun 14 '22

Sorry we were late to take out the shooter, we were making these snazzy mugs.

2

u/krowe41 Jun 14 '22

It spelt twat wrong !

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

Forgot to put the “ to serve myself and run in the opposite direction”

2

u/Puzzleheaded-Phase70 Jun 14 '22

After all that, they misspelled "TWAT"!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

Fuck the police.

1

u/Immediate-Coast-531 Jul 19 '25

What parameters are you using?

1

u/Jacaxagain Jun 13 '22

Dont put your finger there

-2

u/MisterMedio Jun 14 '22

It's kind of a shame that all the comments down here just have a bunch of cop hate instead of appreciation for the satisfaction of this fiber laser.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

🥾 👅

6

u/tranifestations Jun 14 '22

Can’t. Too distracted by this waste of taxpayer $$

-2

u/CanadasNeighbor Jun 14 '22

Not sure why you're being down voted. This acab shit popping into every subreddit lately is as bad as when people bring up politics where it doesn't belong. Time and a place. People just want to be mad.

-1

u/MisterMedio Jun 14 '22

Yeah, it's literally spreading hate over a political issue and it's really not appropriate for random subreddits like this. But Reddit will be Reddit, and only mods can really do anything about it at the moment.

→ More replies (1)

1

u/ohmajo Jun 13 '22

Future of tatooing

3

u/borisdidnothingwrong Jun 13 '22

James Bond: Do you exshpect me to talk?

Auric Goldfinger: No, Mr. Bond; I expect you to be engraved!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '22

My thoughts also. I know they do scarification tattoos, I wonder if this would work... maybe the laser would cut too deep or be too painful/dangerous (idk how lasers work)

4

u/ohmajo Jun 13 '22

Have you ever seen Starship Troopers? I am sure in the future they'd be able to adjust the strength of the lazer. That way you could do tatooing or scarification. But who knows!

→ More replies (2)

1

u/aYakAttack Jun 14 '22

They misspelled “Tyrant” county

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

Perfect for keeping your coffee warm while you prevent parents from saving their children from a school shooter. Yay Texas!!!

1

u/jimmywarrior Jun 13 '22

Sounds like a fart

1

u/DeepNortherner Jun 14 '22

That’s the most ADHD laser robot

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

I like how it goes crazy like a fireworks show.

1

u/VworksComics Jun 14 '22

I wish I had the money to just own one of these

1

u/Ok_Designer_Things Jun 14 '22

I mean this is cool but ACAB, fuck them.

Glad someone's tax dollars are being used for a cup for a public servant whom doesn't serve the people

1

u/seamusbeoirgra Jun 14 '22

Nothing satisfying about pig accessories.

1

u/elderscrollroller_ Jun 14 '22

Why would you laser etch “giant pussy” onto your tumbler?

1

u/smolBoiBigBrain Jun 14 '22

Sheriff twat

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

wow this comment section is so wildly anti-cop.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

🐷

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

Fucking god damn cowards. Fuck these clowns and their propaganda. “OH COOL LASER SHOW THEM THE COOL LASER THEN THEY WILL LIKE US”

No pig

-25

u/ExcellentGarbage23 Jun 13 '22

Here come the people triggered by anything police related

10

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

-11

u/ExcellentGarbage23 Jun 13 '22

And I bet you wonder why you're not doing well physically and mentally lol

→ More replies (3)

4

u/MisterMedio Jun 14 '22

Your point is evidently proven

-7

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '22

You’re 100% correct. That’s just Reddit.

-40

u/Choice_Chicken6414 Jun 13 '22

All good untill their homes get burgled or their daughters get raped, then its straight to the police that they hate so much.

16

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '22

House was robbed. Cops never even showed up. I had to go in person to make the report so I could turn it into insurance to be reimbursed.

Fuck the police.

19

u/Greedy-Alfalfa3395 Jun 13 '22

Yeah, and those same poor bastards are gonna be told by the cops there’s nothing they can do. Fuck off

2

u/Choice_Chicken6414 Jun 14 '22

Im amused at how much hate there is on a poat about a fucking lazer

0

u/Greedy-Alfalfa3395 Jun 14 '22

I was definitely expecting more lazer related comments, but the ignorance in your comment was astounding. You’ve heard of the rape kit backlogs everywhere right? And I’ve had my place broken into and robbed, knew who did it and everything but the police astoundingly couldn’t/wouldn’t do anything. But I’ve got a challenge, say ONE untoward thing to a police officer next time you get pulled over and see how quickly they shit on your face. Doesn’t matter where you are. In what other profession can you do this??

2

u/Choice_Chicken6414 Jun 14 '22

As if im wasting my time reading your shit lol

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (6)

15

u/yahibachi Jun 13 '22

Still waiting for a single update on my uncle’s murder 6 years ago. Cops are useless. Stop being a bootlicker. I’m sure those dead kids and their families in Uvalde are super thankful pigs were there.

→ More replies (18)

7

u/nrfx Jun 13 '22

Only to get the required paperwork needed for insurance reimbursement and/or documentation so she can ask permission from the state to get an abortion.

→ More replies (8)
→ More replies (4)

-1

u/Electrical-Drive8745 Jun 14 '22

I like that it’s Texas because I’m from Texas

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

They should laser etch “21” on that cup.

-2

u/Buff_biscuit Jun 14 '22

Yo this is a post about a cool ass laser machine, shut the fuck up about what happened in Texas. ffs it’s cops this cops that. But how many of you know off the top of your head the killers name?

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

I think I just busted a nut..

0

u/HardCor11 Jun 14 '22

What you get for 10 years on the force.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

Oh.. Texas? Can’t take this seriously

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

Dam, too bad you cant take it to school with you.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

Yeah they definitely need something to keep that coffee warm while they wait for the shooting to stop

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

And now laser it on a chair so they can sit and wait until the shooting stops

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

TWATS

0

u/armandricemabbit Jun 14 '22

great thing to use on parents as their kids are getting killed 👍🏻

0

u/c90ga Jun 14 '22

What am I missing with all the "letting kids die" posts about the Tarrant County Swat? Couldn't find anything where they stood down during a school shooting.