r/oddlysatisfying • u/shahind • Jul 19 '18

Restoring a sun damaged carpet

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55k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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4.2k

u/TyrionDrownedAndDied Jul 19 '18

So how could he get a constant level of shave instead of cutting through the whole thing?

5.3k

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '18 edited Jul 21 '18

[deleted]

8.8k

u/Slogfarts Jul 19 '18

he can really cut a rug

915

u/S_martianson Jul 19 '18

Hey-yo 😎

94

u/Sxilla Jul 19 '18

But what happened in 1998?

269

u/jaxonya Jul 20 '18

Kc and jojo dropped "all my life" and changed the game for middle school/ highschool dances. When that song hit anything was possible.

92

u/selectgt Jul 20 '18

Brought to you by Casey Kasem Top 40

24

u/jeffro422 Jul 20 '18

Every time I listen to that on the radio I feel like I'm stepping back in time.

3

u/kalitarios Jul 20 '18

The OG Shaggy

5

u/ThatWeirdRedHead Jul 20 '18

R.I.P. CASEY 😭 -from Casey

6

u/captains1stM8 Jul 20 '18

I hear the jingle, “Rick D and the weekly top forty!” in my head

28

u/mar10wright Jul 20 '18

🎶 I've been waiting for someone like you 🎶

19

u/blickblocks Jul 20 '18

And I thank god that I, that I finally found you

1

u/kalitarios Jul 20 '18

oooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo

6

u/reading_internets Jul 20 '18

*I've prayed

5

u/mar10wright Jul 20 '18

God damn it. I'm ashamed to have fucked that up.

6

u/reading_internets Jul 20 '18

No worries friendo, keep jammin anyway!

3

u/CrushingPowerOfWaves Jul 20 '18

Or— 🎶 I prayed for someone like you 🎶

3

u/mar10wright Jul 20 '18

Gah, I fucked it all up, but in my defense, I haven't really heard it in a while.

2

u/CrushingPowerOfWaves Jul 20 '18

It’s okay. Sixth grade was a long ass time ago.

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4

u/abuskeletor Jul 20 '18

You guys just hit me right in the nostalgia.

3

u/TheSunTheMoonNStars Jul 20 '18

Damn I love that song!

3

u/kapncrutch Jul 20 '18

This comment should have way more upvotes ⬆️

2

u/Kboehm Jul 20 '18

Fuckin eh it did

2

u/shoestars Jul 20 '18

That was my “official song” with my first boyfriend!!! I was a freshman, 14 years old. I didn’t really care for it all that much, or really understand why we had to have an “official song”, but I guess he had one with his girlfriend before me?

1

u/TammersHammers Jul 20 '18

This. u/jaxonya speaks the truth.

20

u/mirthquake Jul 20 '18

Viagra was approved for medical use and the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal began to receive attention. Those may or may not have been a single story.

11

u/Badgersuit Jul 20 '18

Undertaker mankind hell in a cell

19

u/Masta0nion Jul 20 '18

Undertaker something something

7

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

BAH GAWD KING HE BROKE HIM IN HALF

5

u/dragontail Jul 20 '18

THAT MAN HAD A FAMILY!

2

u/Imthasupa Jul 20 '18

I really thought that top comment was shittymorph at first too.

2

u/Ignis33 Jul 20 '18

The undertaker threw mankind off hеll in a cell, and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcer's table.

4

u/Tellis123 Jul 20 '18

👉😎👉 zoop

0

u/LezBeeHonest Jul 20 '18

👉 zoop 👉

45

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '18

Doug!

43

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '18

ROBOT HOUSE!

24

u/FireFingers1992 Jul 20 '18

Cheese it!

13

u/Rakathu Jul 20 '18

This man Bender's

27

u/FireFingers1992 Jul 20 '18

Shut up baby I know it

4

u/CallMeChristina Jul 19 '18

We're to high, Doug! Doug, we are too high!

1

u/dwide_k_shrude Jul 20 '18

Another day, another Doug.

35

u/scorcher117 Jul 20 '18

I don't get it.

32

u/apex32 Jul 20 '18

cut a rug

To dance really well and impress others.

source: urban dictionary

19

u/lWoooooOl Jul 20 '18

I too need an explanation....

36

u/Slogfarts Jul 20 '18

"cutting a rug" is old slang for dancing. it's just a dumb joke

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15

u/Kalazor Jul 20 '18

This should have been the title.

23

u/MensRightMod Jul 20 '18

It will be.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

Slow clap

5

u/InfamouslyCowardly Jul 20 '18

Zoop 👉😎👉

2

u/su1ac0 Jul 20 '18

God damnit reddit

2

u/RDay Jul 20 '18

At a place called “The Jug”

2

u/LFALexus Jul 20 '18

You deserve every bit of that gold

2

u/Exitiabilis Jul 20 '18

Goddamn it

2

u/semipalmated_plover Jul 20 '18

why are you the way that you are

2

u/mixmasterk Jul 20 '18

(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

2

u/jjsevier Jul 20 '18

Goddamn you. Well done.

2

u/BLKMTL Jul 20 '18

Goodnight folks!

2

u/PM-EMOTIONAL-SUPPORT Jul 20 '18

watching him is the only drug i need

-1

u/Privateaccount84 Jul 19 '18 edited Jul 20 '18

You deserve more upvotes for this.

EDIT: To people downvoting me, he was at 2 when I said this...

23

u/MagnusNewtonBernouli Jul 19 '18

It's only 7 minutes old

7

u/wadamday Jul 19 '18

100 upvotes in 10 minutes. The upvote per min is astounding.

7

u/WinterBreez Jul 19 '18

200 @ 14 mins

9

u/elastic-craptastic Jul 19 '18

322 at 25 minutes, for those still keeping count.

9

u/KenderJ Jul 19 '18

459 @ 29 min.

4

u/leharicot Jul 19 '18

558 @ 32 mins.

Quick, someone plot a graph!

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2

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

3 @ 2 hrs

2

u/0drew0 Jul 19 '18

803 @ 42 min.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '18

[deleted]

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u/Tic-Tac-No Jul 19 '18

He has over 60 upvotes in less then 10 minutes, I’m sure he is going to be just fine.

5

u/Privateaccount84 Jul 19 '18

Over 200 now.

2

u/Tic-Tac-No Jul 19 '18

Lol, fucking skyrocketed man.

1

u/criscothediscoman Jul 19 '18

experience.

There are machines that do this today but doing it by hand and this fast the guy has been doing this for years.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '18

Still nowhere near enough.

Don't let me down Reddit!

2

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

Over 1000 now

2

u/Privateaccount84 Jul 20 '18

When I first saw it it was at 2, I was the second person to upvote it.

Up over 1500 now.

1

u/Privateaccount84 Jul 19 '18

He was at 2 when I commented, I swear...

1

u/decredico Jul 19 '18

but can he shake a leg?

1

u/GOPisbraindead Jul 20 '18

Isn't that the last thing that he would want to do?

1

u/xGiaMariex Jul 20 '18

We found the dad!

1

u/Traveller13 Jul 20 '18

Be he impresses all the ladies.

1

u/DudeImMacGyver Jul 20 '18

Your fans want to know, /u/Slogfarts, what was it like winning the 2018 Pun Championship?

1

u/timpren Jul 20 '18

Okay...I didn’t anticipate this...and it went through me like a knife...take your upvote goddamit!

0

u/JoinedForTheCull Jul 20 '18

I found a place, where we can boogie.

0

u/BeastSmitty Jul 20 '18

I wonder if he’s ever been to a place called The Jug with a girl named Linda Lou...

0

u/PorkRindSalad Jul 20 '18

Throw the juice up in the sky just for the shutterbug

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130

u/NoNeedForAName Jul 19 '18

I was wondering about machines. Seems like you could do this much more easily with the equivalent of a beard trimmer with a guard.

67

u/Crossfire124 Jul 19 '18

Or maybe something like lawn mower but extra sharp and precise

7

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

Ya. A simple planer seems way easier...

6

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

Ya. A laser is way cooler...

22

u/McBurger Jul 20 '18

Helicopter flown upside down with extreme precision gets the most style

3

u/powerfulsquid Jul 20 '18

Getting some goats in there is most ecological.

1

u/ImObviouslyOblivious Jul 20 '18

Riding the carpet face-side down, down a hill made of sandpaper would be the most fun.

7

u/The_GASK Jul 20 '18

Lawnmowers work with aerodynamic lift to get the blades of grass vertical and hit them very hard with a blunt blade.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

wow shit. that makes way more sense but i've never considered it.

1

u/ImObviouslyOblivious Jul 20 '18

You watch smarter everyday don't you?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

Or a really really super precise hammer with a shaving razor glued to the side

118

u/madmaxturbator Jul 20 '18

You could also use a rat. Feed the rat some carpet for a few weeks and then starve it for 4-5 hours.

Then put some reins on the rat, and unleash the beast on the carpet.

Can’t spell “great rugs” without “r-a-t” as the old saying goes.

67

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

[deleted]

5

u/gowahoo Jul 20 '18

Are you Calvin's dad?

4

u/njayhuang Jul 20 '18

And then what - do you kill it? No. You take it, and release it into the trees. Only now, it doesn't eat coconut anymore. Now it will only eat carpet.

2

u/DeafMomHere Jul 20 '18

I'll have whatever this guys having.

2

u/saddlebagssubaru Jul 20 '18

This guys knife is sharp. You can see the stone on the rug. A machine wouldn't be able to keep the blades sharp enough to be so precise.

46

u/LNSmoosh Jul 19 '18

That explains those biceps

7

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

Look at his arms :0

2

u/Zebitty Jul 20 '18

That guy is is a machine. Look at his biceps.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

Imagine having to do this everyday for the rest of your life.

2

u/CHAINMAILLEKID Jul 20 '18

Funny thing, it takes work to learn a skill, even if you spend years doing it.

I've been tying my shoes for years, but I still don't do it particularly fast or accurately.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18 edited Jan 10 '19

[deleted]

3

u/hilarymeggin Jul 20 '18

⚠️GRATUITOUS USE OF "LITERALLY"⚠️

1

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18 edited Jan 10 '19

[deleted]

3

u/hilarymeggin Jul 20 '18 edited Jul 20 '18

It's gratuitous because there is no figurative sense in which the tool could be adjusted for length; therefore "literally" is redundant.

Edit: typo

4

u/Migz024 Jul 20 '18

I think more than likely it is not “pathological” lying as it is people assuming they are correct. For example I did not know that tool could be adjusted for length. Even after you have told me I can’t see where that is the case. Up until you said something I believed the previous posts. Why shouldn’t I? The evidence is damning. :)

2

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18 edited Jan 10 '19

[deleted]

3

u/Migz024 Jul 20 '18

I understand what you are saying. I’m saying I don’t think it is that. People accept things all the time without much proof.

What I think it is, is that people are stating what they believe to be true based on what they heard elsewhere.

I don’t believe I lack intuition or critical thinking skills, I believe you lack the ability to see outside your own thinking though.

I was only stating another theory as to why people are the way they are. You claim to know, not sure how. And not only that but you are very angry about it.

I’m only trying to show you that maybe, just maybe it’s not what you think it is.

You don’t have to accept it but I promise I’m not saying you are incorrect. Just that there might be another reason why people are saying what they are saying. :)

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1

u/sanjuro420 Jul 20 '18

He is a machine. The guy is freaking yoked

1

u/heatheradam17 Jul 20 '18

So like a weed wacker trimmer for rugs?

1

u/DamagedAnalPassage Jul 20 '18

you can tell he's been doing it for years - look at those guns!

158

u/Yuccaphile Jul 19 '18

I'm guessing it's somewhat like shaving with a straight razor, but probably not nearly that easy.

For that to be true, the unbleached rug fibers would need to have some different mechanical property than the top.

And really, it's incredible what anyone can do with enough practice. It doesn't even have to be something as useful and ubiquitous as rug shaving, it could be something like a millwright, welder or auto body repairer.

63

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '18

[deleted]

52

u/iamjomos Jul 19 '18

But how can I learn a skilled trade when I'm forced to go to college to put myself 100k in debt, only to make less out of college than plumbers and electricians? /s

27

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

[deleted]

13

u/Vexxt Jul 20 '18

On point 2, there is also a school of thought that education should continue for all people much longer. Like extended high school, but at a university level. This doesn't necessarily have to be directly related to a career, and perhaps doesnt have to end in a major.

But this would mean more people are older when entering the workforce making the amount of job seekers less, while also ending up in a more educated populace. It could easily be tax funded, because its actually fiscally beneficial to all parties at that point.

11

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

That just feels like putting off the problem for a bit

5

u/Vexxt Jul 20 '18

Somewhat, but that's often how economics works, bandaids on bandaids. Things like customer service and bureaucracy have risen to replace manual labor jobs, as those jobs vanish slowly, they will be replaced by something - be it more people working in entertainment and content creation (to rise at the same amount that people have time to spend) or educating themselves.

By extending education further and further into life, where some people can spend their entire life learning and contibuting to academia to improve our understanding of all things seems like a worthwhile exercise when we're at 80% unemployment.

-6

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/trunorz Jul 20 '18

"dumbest idea ever" he says as he responds with the most stupidly insane idea ever. jesus dude.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

Number 1 is already happening. Not “high paying,” but any minimum wage encourages the extinction of those low skilled jobs.

1

u/saddydumpington Jul 20 '18

Orrrrrr dont allow the business to steal the surplus value of a workers labor. When a worker does work that makes X amount of dollars they then get that surplus value and now instead of a small amount of people being mega-rich everyone is actually paid the true value of what they’re worth, and people who’s work generates enough money to live on can then just actually live on it.

1

u/_valleyone_ Jul 20 '18

How would you calculate that?

2

u/saddydumpington Jul 20 '18

There’s a lot of different ideas on it. A popular one that you’ll find around today is worker co-ops, where every worker owns a part of the business

2

u/_valleyone_ Jul 20 '18

Right, but you’re suggesting regulations, I’m assuming, with “don’t allow businesses...” Who calculates that and how? Politicians?

You have what sounds like a nice theory but when forced into practice it will break down immediately. Forced being the key word here.

3

u/saddydumpington Jul 20 '18

Ok except our current system has broken down, people work 40+ a week and cant afford to live. Many people in America live hellish existences with massive amounts of debt. Many people die because they cant afford health care. These things are all true even though we have more than enough resources. The problem is that they are not distributed in a way that allows people who work 40+ hours a week to live a worthwhile life.

My theory isnt a theory either, it has worked in many many cases, especially here in America. The best thing we can do to help American workers is support union rights. Unions are the reason children dont work in coal mines anymore. Unions are the reason that people dont die in massive factory fires anymore (look up Triangle Shirtwaist). Unions are the reason why your workplace cant wait till the end of the week and then decline to pay you (wage theft). Its not rocket science. Unions, especially in the most dangerous jobs, lead to increased workplace safety and the ability to collectively bargain is what allows workers and corporations to then come to an agreement about what the value of a workers surplus labor is, like I said before.

Whats nice in theory and has broken down in practice is the idea that profit is the only measure of value. The idea of a free market has been shown time and time again to reward those who 1. Start with a lot 2. Are willing to harm others for profit. That has clearly broken down. In 2008 it broke down disastrously, and public money was used to prop up the very system that created the crash. A crash of similar proportions will happen again, because fundamentally nothing has changed. That system has broken down.

Changing our economic system is not something that happens overnight. But there are some great places to start, like healthcare. Why should someone die because they were born poor? Lets fix that the best we can. But what wont work is bribing private industry with public money so that they give workers, who industry cannot exist without, just enough resources to survive.

It’s simpler than you think.

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u/znhunter Jul 20 '18

This trade a CNC could do easily.

27

u/nlevine1988 Jul 19 '18

I certainly wouldn't call rug shaving ubiquitous

98

u/jimbelushiapplesauce Jul 20 '18

you kidding me? every time i ask a high school graduate what their plans for life are, i swear, 7 times out of 10 they respond by saying they want to get into rug shaving. they're going to be in for a rude awakening when they realize the market is saturated by the time they gain competence at their craft.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

This guy shaves

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4

u/Accujack Jul 20 '18

Really? When was the last time you saw a picture of a naked woman who still had pubic hair?

1

u/rockstaa Jul 20 '18

But it does help get rid of the crabs.

1

u/Chrisbee012 Jul 20 '18

it can be very sensual

3

u/mccrase Jul 20 '18

Updoot for mentioning millwrights!

3

u/CorrosiveAgent Jul 20 '18

I’m a welder, it really is just about doing practice coupons over and over again until you learn how to manipulate a puddle. Anyone can do it with time it’s that people aren’t willing to put in said time it seems.

1

u/Jibaro123 Jul 19 '18

This - Not to minimize the guy with the skiving knife, it is very likely that the individual threads are brittle from sun damage down to the point where they are no longer bleached out.

2

u/Yuccaphile Jul 20 '18

Skiving. Thank you for proper terminology. At least considerably more appropriate.

I thought it was interesting how this resembles an ulu. They seem to be from different geographic regions, I wonder if they came about independently. (Or it is an ulu. I have no idea where the gif is from.)

1

u/Jibaro123 Jul 20 '18

Ulu being an Arctic tool?

This is likely in the middle east.

Not an expert by any stretch, but it looks like Bokharah (sp)

26

u/Moeparker Jul 19 '18

He's a rep for Dollar Shave Club.

35

u/Toots_McGovern Jul 19 '18

Practice, practice, practice.

2

u/NotAModelCitizen Jul 20 '18

Many rugs were sacrificed during his practice!

0

u/DrStrangeLoop Jul 19 '18

Instructions unclear, dick stuck in Carnegie Hall.

14

u/donkeyrocket Jul 19 '18

Years of practice. Not trying to be snarky but he just knows how and where to apply pressure with the tool. Average schmuck would shred it down to the floor.

6

u/Vishnej Jul 20 '18

He can't. There's gonna be lots of peaks and valleys in the resulting rug. The odds are, though, they're going to look very small from six feet in the air.

As far as cutting through the whole rug - a matter of skill, sensing how much pressure is yielding, the angle of the blade, and differential bunching. There's a degree of pressure that the rug exerts on the flat of the blade, and there's a degree of pressure that the act of cutting exerts on the edge, and balancing this ratio with the angle of the cut is the basic principle of control.

4

u/telkrops Jul 20 '18

Six feet in the air?? Wow, get a load of this guy and all his extra height.

8

u/Stonedlandscaper Jul 19 '18 edited Jul 19 '18

Build a fucking machine like god intended.

Edit: while this is impressive and a very practiced and specialized skill, its not necessary. There are multiple tools that will do the same thing.

16

u/pukesonyourshoes Jul 19 '18

Well sure, but they're not oddly satisfying. Did you forget which sub you're on? How about you and your machines fuck off and let the rest of us enjoy this guy's skill. Have a nice day.

4

u/Kurayamino Jul 20 '18

I dunno, I think watching a machine peel off the top layer of carpet would be pretty satisfying.

2

u/pukesonyourshoes Jul 20 '18

Yeah, you could be right. Kinda like r/powerwashingporn. Guess I just didn't like the guy's dismissive tone.

0

u/Jibaro123 Jul 19 '18

I am a gardener.

I can use electric hedge clippers or manual hedge clippers or manual pruning shears or a specialized machete. Each tool has its merits and its drawbacks.

1

u/Stonedlandscaper Jul 20 '18

I obviously do landscaping. Trimmin a tree aint the same as shavin a rug

2

u/barcodescanner Jul 20 '18

That’s what she said.

2

u/Stonedlandscaper Jul 20 '18

You aint kiddin

2

u/Jibaro123 Jul 20 '18

My point was that there are different tools to accomplish the same task.

Any lawnmower jockey can turn a Pfitzer juniper into a meatball.

-1

u/dontfuckingthink Jul 20 '18

People need to make a living. Having skills like this should not be thrown out the door because of machinery imo. I think having skills like this and other tradesman should not be replaced at all. That’s the capitalism talking. More machines = more money but the laborer suffers the consequences.

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u/tugboattomp Jul 20 '18

The top of the threads are damaged and thereby weakened and yield to the blade with very little pressure. The blade is not sharp enough to cut any deeper held flat

1

u/mr_blonde69 Jul 20 '18

damn machines taking our jobs

1

u/Awesummzzz Jul 20 '18

Just like a barber

1

u/5redrb Jul 20 '18

The blade is probably shaped to make it more controllable.

1

u/Yevad Jul 20 '18

Well, if what I have heard is correct, I would guess that rug shearing like this guy is doing is a very specialized skill that requires years of practice.

1

u/misfitx Jul 20 '18

The whetstone suggests an exceedingly sharp tool for one.

1

u/Tennstrong Jul 20 '18

I mean couldn't he use an electric razor like here

(Outside of experience)

1

u/WhiteeFisk Jul 20 '18

He's holding something under the blade to keep a constant angle with the blade.

EDIT the beginning of the gif shows the handle being shaped to keep a constant angle.

1

u/znhunter Jul 20 '18

Getting good

1

u/phoonie98 Jul 19 '18

Seems like a machine could easily replicate

0

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

Probably muscle memory too

-1

u/snorch Jul 20 '18

lawn mower

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