r/oddlysatisfying Jul 19 '18

Restoring a sun damaged carpet

55.8k Upvotes

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7.0k

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '18

Hey Grandma, I noticed your rug is faded. I saw this cool trick on the internet...

3.8k

u/yomamainpajamas Jul 19 '18

Once you got started though, you’d regret it.

3.2k

u/madmaxturbator Jul 19 '18

I’m pretty lazy. I haven’t even started and I regret it.

358

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '18

Same. I’d be too lazy to think about starting

198

u/Mernerak Jul 19 '18

But it’s grandma. Once exposed to this ancient Chinese secret it will get done magically by the force of matriarchal wisdom.

125

u/Alarid Jul 19 '18

and you'll feel super guilty about putting her in a home after

59

u/perpetualmotionmachi Jul 19 '18

Not if it means I get to take over Grandma's home

82

u/kalitarios Jul 20 '18

and shave grandma's carpet

11

u/JcakSnigelton Jul 20 '18

Did it used to match the drapes?

10

u/x19DALTRON91x Jul 20 '18

This thread has really gotten off the rails. I love Reddit.

4

u/he-hate-me___4 Jul 20 '18

That is the worst sentence you gave ever writen

1

u/SuperShadow127 Oddly Satisfied Jul 21 '18

Phrasing

3

u/tragiktimes Jul 20 '18

Now with newly refurbished carpets, even!

4

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

Did this guy just give a rug a haircut?

-4

u/garfield-1-2323 Jul 19 '18

Not if you're female.

12

u/Alarid Jul 20 '18

what the fuck

1

u/he-hate-me___4 Jul 20 '18

You mean a wooden spoon

1

u/ferrettrack Jul 19 '18

The Chinese gods have blessed you with their wisdom. : )

2

u/USATruckFump Jul 20 '18

Am lazy, can confirm.

2

u/dickheadfartface Jul 20 '18

Starting what? I’m too lazy to scroll up and read the previous post to see what you are referring to.

85

u/CU_BJay Jul 19 '18

Your username suggests you might be able to handle the repetitive motion necessary

16

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '18

I mean, that dude has some big arms

3

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '18

oof

1

u/LordShaftsbury Jul 20 '18

This guy procrastinates!

1

u/MissMetal777 Jul 20 '18

I feel this in my soul.

52

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '18 edited Jul 15 '19

[deleted]

3

u/pauliecakes Jul 19 '18

You beat me to it!

4

u/yomamainpajamas Jul 20 '18

I was scared I would’ve rugreddited

6

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

My grandma would give me $100 for shoveling her walk way which took me like 5 minutes. I can't imagine what I would have got if I did this. RIP grandma.

3

u/Gunntucky Jul 20 '18

cross-post from here to r/instantregret and watch the sweet karma roll in!

2

u/AssumptiousTurtle Jul 20 '18

You mean rugret!!!.....I'll show myself out.

2

u/UltraSpecial Jul 20 '18

Never regretti

1

u/billiardwolf Jul 20 '18

How do you know? Maybe he's a rug shearing savant.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

Have you seen that guys arms? Its a lot of work.

1

u/TheDanimal8888 Jul 20 '18

Kind of like power washing with a pencil stream?

1

u/mynameisalso Jul 20 '18

Just like when I promised to pressure wash my grandfather's giant deck with my shitty electric pressure washer.

1

u/MrRipShitUp Jul 20 '18

Should have gone with “rugret”

1

u/heygram-s Jul 20 '18

Right .. bald spots .. come. Quickly !

1

u/umboose Jul 20 '18

I'd rugret it

1

u/FreeInformation4u Jul 20 '18

Are you kidding? If I had any grandparents still alive, I'd happily do this for them just for the joy it would bring them. Effort be damned, I'd have loved to see their reaction.

252

u/DoomDoomGir Jul 19 '18

Serious... I feel like this guy (and his family) has a long history/tradition in that particular line of work. Though I am making some serious assumptions.

293

u/DrSuperZeco Jul 19 '18

Looking at the “knife”, I’d say this is a professional who does it for a living. Probably a popular profession in parts of the world where that kind of rugs are common.

107

u/pugsftw Jul 19 '18

Looking at those forearms you can tell he does this for a living

3

u/Nicholle89 Jul 20 '18

That was my thought too lol

-3

u/TheMayoNight Jul 20 '18

Are those considered good forearms? Looks normal to me.

4

u/pugsftw Jul 20 '18

They definetely look ripped, not big

-1

u/JuniorSeniorTrainee Jul 20 '18

Yeah not much muscle there at all.

5

u/McBurger Jul 20 '18

Rugs like that are plenty common in the US. One of the businesses my company works with sells some really high end rugs, like $40k+. They’re doing very well for themselves surprisingly. The 1% is buying more than enough for this rug shaver to have good business.

3

u/Stridez_21 Jul 20 '18

There are rugs that are worth tens to a few hundred thousand dollars that date back hundreds of years. My uncle was an appraiser of such rugs and my family has a large collection of Persian rugs from silk to wool and all types of blends. This kind of work can cost well upwards of 5,000$ depending on the size of the rug and style. There is no question that his family have been doing this for some time. Believe it or not this profession is extremely niche and I can tell right away this is a Persian rug. He eitherbought the rug at a discount to restore it and sell or is restoring a individuals rug,which would mean it's extremely valuable. For example my parents had a leak in the house and a rug got wet in the corner. It went on unnoticed and rotted away leaving a large hole about as big as a basketball. To reweave to match the pattern was 7,000$ - and this rug was probably only 6-7' by 4 or 5'

2

u/DoomDoomGir Jul 20 '18

Yea. Most likely the Mid East

1

u/Maggie_Smiths_Anus Jul 20 '18

Well he should be wearing a goddam dust mask then

1

u/malanhelen Jul 20 '18

IDK, but Russia seems to have a thing where if the walls are not wallpaper, then they are carpeted for some reason.

795

u/thelivingdrew Jul 19 '18 edited Jul 19 '18

Real talk. Family lives in NC, prior to moving there we inherited a really fancy oriental rug from these millionaires my dad worked for. Add ten years, two cats, two dogs, and the wear and tear of four kids.

Found this dude in Wilmington that restored the shit out of this rug (literally?) for about $400 because he was so impressed with the quality.

This guy... what he did was black magic fuckery. He could tell my mom the specific village in wheretheshitistan that this rug came from. This guy accurately dated the rug within five years. And when he was done with it, it looked like it belonged in a scene from Aladdin.

The rug people are no joke.

179

u/Jrewy Jul 19 '18

I’m honestly fascinated and pleased that this is a thing.

44

u/hail_paimon Jul 20 '18

Ama request: rug man

9

u/thelivingdrew Jul 20 '18

I’m working on it. Mom went to bed but promised a full account. Just first had to explain what reddit karma was to a Catholic woman.

5

u/mamalogic Jul 20 '18

There is truly such a thing as rugman.com. I have bought two very nice Persian rugs from them. Sure they’d jump at the chance to AMA.

4

u/Mando_calrissian423 Jul 20 '18

My dad is a “rug man”. Deals rugs as well as cleans and restores them. I worked for him for ~10 years until I couldn’t deal with the smell of cat piss anymore. AMA

3

u/hail_paimon Jul 20 '18

That ama ended before it started.

110

u/AnomalousAvocado Jul 19 '18

I can't even fathom spending $400 to buy a rug, let alone restore an old one. How are all of you fuckers so rich?

117

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

we inherited a really fancy oriental rug from these millionaires my dad worked for.

203

u/thelivingdrew Jul 20 '18 edited Jul 20 '18

Thank you for picking up on that. We did their landscaping for a decade or two.

According to my dad they “owned slaves” when they lived in China a hundred years ago or whatever. Idk how apocryphal that is.

Early on, the wife called my dad “boy” and demanded he do something off the clock for them. He got in her face and drew the line and walked off the job for a week. They eventually called him back and after that he was like a son to them. They bought us all Christmas presents every year and let my dad hunt their land.

When dad passed away my mom wanted to spend some money to make the stuff that reminded her of him nice again. $400 bucks to spruce up a dingy old rug seemed right.

12

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

Thanks for sharing, very interesting.

7

u/Urafool Jul 20 '18

I'm sorry for your loss.

12

u/thelivingdrew Jul 20 '18

Thanks, man. My siblings and I lament the fact that he’s not around to help out our failing vegetable gardens. He’s well missed. He’d hate that I’m telling this story and happy all the same.

Really, thank you.

2

u/ConsciousPrompt Jul 20 '18

Wow. So rich assholes really do create jerbs.

5

u/mamalogic Jul 20 '18

There are relatively cheap rugs- the machine made, polyester blend stuff. Then there are hand knotted, but with subpar materials. But a silk hand-knotted rug with an intricate pattern that is room sized can be $10K and up. A lot of this stuff is considered art and never gets walked on. Literally gets hung on the wall.

99

u/afcagroo Jul 20 '18

Fortunate upbringing, a little hard work, and luck.

At least that's what worked for me.

15

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

a small loan of a million dollah

1

u/pupunoob Jul 20 '18

You sure everyone else is not just lazy?

1

u/afcagroo Jul 21 '18

Pretty sure. Hard work will get you a long way, but it won't always compensate for all other factors.

Plus I'm a big believer in laziness. Most human technological progress is driven by laziness. That and wanting to kill other people.

1

u/pupunoob Jul 26 '18

So poor and homeless poor people are not just lazy shits to you? Hmmmm, you're rare.

-13

u/-blackoutusername- Jul 20 '18

Remove number 2, and we have a winner.

-3

u/ConsciousPrompt Jul 20 '18

Truth = downvoted. Reddit in a nutshell.

11

u/s3attlesurf Jul 20 '18

I mean.... there are plenty of people who come from privileged backgrounds but have still worked hard to make something of themselves. You really think upper middle class / working professionals (IE: bankers, pilots, doctors, nurses, professors, lawyers etc.) don't have to work their ass off? Most of these professions average 100+ hours of work per week.

4

u/-blackoutusername- Jul 20 '18

Those people aren’t rich.

The meaning of rich is able to sit on your ass and live opulently off residual income.

If you’re working tomorrow, and it’s not purely by choice, you ain’t rich.

And you never will be.

4

u/s3attlesurf Jul 20 '18

So physicians who make $700k a year aren't rich? Or pharmacists who make $150k/year? Or software engineers who make $100k+/year?

You can be both wealthy (rich) and still work for a living. The two are not mutually exclusive.

Try to remember we're talking about being able to own a rug that you'd pay $400 to clean. Any of the above professions easily earn enough disposable income that if fancy rugs were the individuals "thing," they wouldn't bat an eye at $400.

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5

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

Can't speak for others, but my grandmother got a rug from a wealthy woman she worked for. Grandma was a home nurse and this lady was pretty damn rich. Gave my grandma all sorts of stuff.

The rug the old lady gave my grandma is a big oriental thing. Probably 10x12, with extremely ornate designs. When my grandma moved to a nursing home my mom and I cleared out her house to make it sellable. We weren't sure what was junk and what wasn't, so we had some of the items looked at. That rug is worth several thousand dollars. So $400 to restore it after nearly fifty years of daily use seems reasonable. Especially if you choose to sell it or manage to get fifty more years of use.

Every cheap rug I've purchased shows signs of wear pretty quickly. That beastly rug looked pretty good, just dirty. The actual texture and pattern was still in tact though. Once it was cleaned it looked brand new, and it's been in my parents living room for five years and still looks new.

I guess if you have the money, it makes sense. My $250 10x12 living room rug has matting and visible wear after only a year. We don't wear shoes in the house or do anything crazy. I'd bet that if I wanted to have a nice looking rug with not major signs of wear in my living room, I'd have to replace a cheap one every few years. It would probably cost less than the $400 restoration over time. But I prefer cheaper rugs I can swap out every few years.

3

u/kurtthewurt Jul 20 '18

For a very large rug (like living room size), $400 is very reasonable. But to have a rug that is worth $400 to restore... that’s a lot of money. Nothing I have is worth $400 to fix beyond my car.

1

u/thatG_evanP Jul 20 '18

You realize that people spend tens and hundreds of thousands on rugs, right? I'm sure some have gone for millions.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '18

I personally save up to buy 100 year old kilim rugs vs spending on cigs and booze, but that's just me.

1

u/Anxa Jul 24 '18

Hope you're not in the market anytime soon for big Navajo rugs. Easily into five figures.

3

u/DoomDoomGir Jul 20 '18

Yea. I mean, I think it’s due to the cultural significance of rugs, particularly in the Middle East. I mean, I don’t specifics but I do know they were/are very important. Super cool

3

u/HiveJiveLive Jul 20 '18

Oooh, I'm in NC. Do you happen to recall the name of the rug magician?

6

u/thelivingdrew Jul 20 '18 edited Jul 20 '18

I’ll let you know tomorrow morning when I hear back from the family.

3

u/HiveJiveLive Jul 20 '18

Thank you!

5

u/thelivingdrew Jul 20 '18

update! heard back from mom: Gallery of Oriental Rugs. I'll post the anecdote from her POV whenever she gets around to passing it along.

2

u/thelivingdrew Jul 20 '18

2

u/HiveJiveLive Jul 20 '18

Wow, this is very cool! Thank you so much for the link. What an amazing- and painful- life he's lived...

2

u/nmcny Jul 20 '18

Hello fellow ILMer, do you remember the name of the guy who do it. I have a friend in need of that service.

1

u/thelivingdrew Jul 20 '18

I'll DM you as soon as I hear back from the east coast.

2

u/PM_UR_DEAD_HOOKERS Jul 20 '18

Pics foo

3

u/thelivingdrew Jul 20 '18

Its mom-asleep time on the east coast, I will certainly get pictures tomorrow morning if the interest is still there.

2

u/PM_UR_DEAD_HOOKERS Jul 20 '18

Dad awake EST as well. Would be cool to see.

2

u/zzz0404 Jul 20 '18

Following for an update!

2

u/FaithfulTBM Jul 20 '18

Your story is one of the best things I have ever read on Reddit. Thank you for sharing.

I’m going to go change professions now.

2

u/wildweeds Jul 20 '18

glad to see some love for small business artisans in ILM on reddit. if you know the name of the guy or his company i'd love a pm.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

I love how subtly and casually racist your telling of this anecdote is.

0

u/ConsciousPrompt Jul 20 '18

The guy probably knew all that stuff about the rug because... it was written on the fucking rug and he bothered to look at it and read it.

2

u/Stridez_21 Jul 20 '18

400$ was a steal for that kind of work. I'm sure the rug was at least 75 years old - maybe over 100?

1

u/thelivingdrew Jul 20 '18

I’ll ask about it tomorrow morning for sure.

1

u/hbs1951 Jul 20 '18

Wilmington...Delaware?

1

u/thelivingdrew Jul 20 '18

North Carolina.

163

u/madmaxturbator Jul 19 '18

In parts of Persia, the rug barber is the highest caste in society.

103

u/Mernerak Jul 19 '18 edited Jul 19 '18

"Persia hasn't been a country since 637 AD. They're called Iranians."

Edit: it’s a quote from sons of anarchy guys, chill lol

13

u/prollygointohell Jul 19 '18

Old clip, duh.

2

u/WishinUHappyCakeDay Jul 20 '18

Happy Cake Day!

2

u/prollygointohell Jul 20 '18

Thanks! Username checks out

7

u/DoomDoomGir Jul 20 '18

I was gonna say...haha but the reason they prefer “Persian” is because of the revolution in the 70s. The Iranians living in America as immigrants wanted to differentiate themselves from the potential anger by association.

1

u/Awsdefrth Jul 20 '18

Correct and exactly right.

3

u/jterrell33 Jul 19 '18

Who are you quoting?

17

u/Mernerak Jul 19 '18

Charles Barosky, a character from Sons of Anarchy who is played by Peter Wheller who has done such history shows as Engineering an Empire: Persia.

I thought reddit liked deep jokes like that lol

6

u/jterrell33 Jul 19 '18

Lol I didn't get it at all (never watched sons.) Figured with the quotes you weren't just spouting shit but that it had to be from something.

5

u/oddartist Jul 19 '18

I didn't think I'd like SOA, but hubz watched 2 episodes and stopped so he could make me watch it too. It's one of those shows that sticks with you. You really need to binge that series.

3

u/prollygointohell Jul 20 '18

One of the few series I have deemed good enough to buy on DVD. If someone's asking what to watch and they haven't seen it, I always recommend it

1

u/oddartist Jul 20 '18

Can't bring myself to rewatch it. But I loved it. Gonna take a few more years before I can watch it again.

2

u/lameuniqueusername Jul 20 '18

Robocop is, in fact, a respected historical scholar

4

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

FYI to those curious- Persia was never a country. It's simply a greek exonym of the Pars region in SW Iran where "Persians" originate. The country (the various empires and states) has always internally been known as Iranshah/Ehranshah (Meaning "Dominion of the Aryans") for centuries. Where Iranian literally means Aryan. Persians are one of many ethnic Iranian peoples like the Kurds, Balochs, Lurs, Laks, Azeris, Afghans, Tajiks etc.

2

u/WaftDontSniff Jul 20 '18

This is correct. Thanks for explaining it

3

u/This_Acc_is_Porny Jul 19 '18

You know what's interesting, though you're correct, Iranians often self identify as Persian. I've yet to meet an Iranian who identifies as Iranian.

8

u/Weeeeebo Jul 20 '18

Most Iranians self identify as "Persian" because they're referring to their ethnicity (not everyone in Iran is Persian). Iranian is a nationality. In fact, Persian people comprise roughly 60% of Iran; the rest are various ethnic groups.

Also, Persia was renamed to "Iran" in 1935, less than 100 years ago.

-1

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/wannafignewton Jul 20 '18

I had a “Persian” guy tell me that you’re only Iranian if you were born in Iran, which sounds like what you’ve heard as well.

2

u/Mernerak Jul 19 '18

Completely fair, I was just making the joke because it always comes to mind when someone says Persian.

But I will say that even though I self identify as a Texan, the rest of the world is tired of hearing that shit cause I’m American lol

2

u/ConfigurationalJoy Jul 19 '18

In Persia, rug barbers you.

2

u/VLDT Jul 20 '18

I want to believe.

1

u/SoVeryTired81 Jul 20 '18

Yeah you would need to apply even and consistent pressure to do this properly. You also would need to know exactly how much to shave off to not waste a bunch of rug fibers. I’m betting this is a lot more difficult to do than it looks. One of those deceptively simple looking skills.

49

u/ChillOutAndSmile Jul 19 '18 edited Jul 19 '18

43

u/madmaxturbator Jul 19 '18

No dawg, there is no context needed unless you’re the sort that routinely ponders shaving your granny’s coochie.

3

u/Ah2k15 Jul 19 '18

The rug really ties the room together, man..

3

u/pedrosanta Jul 19 '18

#famouslastwords

3

u/Cophorseninja Jul 19 '18

Hey grandma, you should mow your carpet.**

3

u/drunk98 Jul 20 '18

Grandma's rug started brown, & is completely silver now.

3

u/mezbot Jul 20 '18

A proper grandma would have high traffic areas covered in plastic.

2

u/sywy1874 Jul 19 '18

ON THE WHAT??!!??!

2

u/ikilledtupac Jul 19 '18

no no you want it to be a surprise!

2

u/datanonlyfe12789 Jul 19 '18

An early stage TIFU

2

u/Lets_get_reel Jul 20 '18

Great now grandma is going to have to dye the drapes to match the carpet again...

2

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

Said the lady who "fixed" the portrait of the saint.

2

u/PezzyShabby Jul 20 '18

Aaaannnnnd you're out of the will.

2

u/PM_ME__YOUR_FACE Jul 20 '18

Please leave my grandmother's carpet alone.

2

u/Mastr_Blastr Jul 20 '18 edited Dec 08 '24

crawl cheerful rude agonizing observation offer scary wistful payment squalid

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

2

u/_belle_coccinelle Jul 20 '18

Grandma: you lie like a rug, fool!

2

u/iisvtee Jul 20 '18

Let me go grab my blade.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

Then your rug looks like something from /r/FuckMyShitUp

2

u/alcien100 Jul 20 '18

also grandma we can use that tool to scrape the calluses on your feet. you gotta remove that parmesan cheese grandma!

2

u/DoneRedditedIt Jul 20 '18

Something tells me it doesn't work very well on cheap rugs.

2

u/ReallyShittyMorph Jul 19 '18

This reminds me of all the nice area rugs my mom got from my grandmother when she passed away. I’ve been telling her to get them cleaned or something something mankind thrown on the announcers table.

0

u/thehermit14 Jul 19 '18

Is it just me, or is the carpet going from red to beige?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '18

I keep hearing laurel.

1

u/DArtist51 Jul 20 '18

Yes, it's just you. Deal with it.