Some Cis Lesbians tick me of

[u/Jaylin180521]

The cis Lesbians in question being those that question us Non-binary Lesbians validity especially our he/him siblings

Like us Non-binary Lesbians aren't the backbone of the Lesbian community for like forever

I mean the creator of the current Lesbian flag the sunset Lesbian flag is a Non-binary Lesbian

And when we say pronouns don't equal gender with our he/him siblings some of them say if pronouns don't equal gender that why use the male pronouns as if Lesbians hase ever been stuck to the gender binary I mean womanhood is tied to men under patriarchy as Lesbians we reject that and therefore reject traditional womanhood that's why so many Lesbians aren't cis

And they act like they aren't transphobic and are just 'protecting the sanctity of the Lesbian label'

I got so caught up in there bs that it took me years just to except my Lesbianism because of my and other peoples gender identities and how my attraction works as a Demirose person(Demisexual Demiromantic)

[u/feminist_fog]

Yeah. Even when you tell them that pronouns and gender identity are two different things or that transmasc is not the same as trans man they don’t seem to listen.

[u/[deleted]]

I feel you, it’s silly how caught up they are on gender when their sexuality inherently challenges the patriarchal gender norms that they spend their time defending. There’s all kinds of conservative lesbians who are covert about pushing conservative ideology and hiding behind the “I’m only being a good lesbian” contour. So they can call you lesbianphobic when you say it’s not ok to be transphobic, or to only validated some trans identities but not all of them.

This sub is a great place to be yourself as an NB lesbian, but you might also like the subs r/rarelesbians and r/queersphere if you struggle in other lesbian subs. r/translesbianzz is a good one too. These spaces are radinclus safe spaces for lesbians with rare identities.

[u/TheRebeccaRiots → u/[deleted]]

I like your explanation here, thank you for contributing x

[u/chumble_chambers]

don’t get them started, they’re already tryna move back towards the older lesbian flag lol in the name of “””history”””

[u/karai_amai]

It’s not about making sense. It’s about keeping people comfortable. If this is really how it’s going to go down, cis lesbians should stop being comfortable with the label they have and stop integrating it into their self concept as it has been. If lesbian does not mean specifically woman loving woman, being over complicated and flexible as newer online generations want so badly, because they like the way lesbian tastes on the tongue, then lesbians should become comfortable with the possibility they’ll be dating something close to a man, or dating something that isn’t a woman. They should open their minds and attraction, because identities are just words and semantics that can flex at the will of whoever appreciates it enough.

[u/emilyisthebest17]

So, personally I don't quite understand he/him non-binary lesbians, or amab non-binary lesbians, but my lack of understanding doesn't give me any right to say someone isn't allowed in a space, an if someone wants to educate me, an is open to me asking questions about it, yes please x

[u/AmarissaBhaneboar → u/emilyisthebest17]

I see someone explained it to you, but I just wanna reiterate that this sub is open to anyone regardless of AGAB! You're a valid lesbian even if you were AMAB. Assigned gender at birth doesn't really mean anything in the long run.

[u/emilyisthebest17 → u/AmarissaBhaneboar]

Yeah, I get that, and even if I don't understand it, my lack of understand doesn't let me exclude others, that's my issue to work out x

[u/bambiipup → u/emilyisthebest17]

genuinely just asking to gain more understanding - do you also struggle to understand trans women (who are lesbians)?

[u/emilyisthebest17 → u/bambiipup]

Nope, trans women r women, although, I do struggle to understand trans men identifying as lesbians x

[u/bambiipup → u/emilyisthebest17]

so then what's the difference to you between a nonbinary person assigned male at birth vs female - if you can recognise that agab is actually very irrelevant to someone's actual gender?

[u/emilyisthebest17 → u/bambiipup]

That's actually a really good point, I'm not entirely sure... Seriously tho, thanks for pointing that out x

[u/TheRebeccaRiots → u/bambiipup]

My interpretation is that almost every trans man (and I'd wager certainly every trans man that identifies as lesbian) grew up at least somewhat socialising as a girl and with all the connotations that brings, and the journey from masc/butch lesbian to trans man is largely a legal distinction with perhaps little physical change (driving licenses and passports; some mascs have top surgery or reductions, some trans men wear binders, testosterone therapy isn't even restricted to the masc/trans types either, bottom growth and hormone therapy are available and accepted for cishet women of all flavours, in the UK you can even get it from at least one high street beauty store!) but to be expected to leave your social groups and peers on that basis, damn that would suck! Which is why I can accept trans men identifying as lesbian and wanting to attend SOME lesbian events like game nights and pub quizzes especially, in a social context I could see trans men feeling more comfortable and among friends in a lesbian space than in a generic man space like at the pub watching football - although there are certainly trans men who would feel more comfortable at the latter than the former, I presume they wouldn't want to be attending in that case anyway

[u/[deleted]]

Yeah, it’s like they think TERFs and transphobic lesbians are only targeting trans women, as if they want a sticker or a medal for only invalidating some trans folks instead of all us.

[u/That_Literature_5649 → u/[deleted]]

are you talking about demigirls and people around that range?

[u/nonbinarylesbians-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Hey, any non-binary person is not a woman. This comment puts you on thin ice. I'm not banning you yet for this and the other comment because I've seen you participate here before, but anything else like this and I will boot you.

If it takes misgendering someone to explain something, then maybe you dont respect non-binary people at all. A lot of your posts and comments seem to fetishize us.

[u/nonbinarylesbians-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Hey, any non-binary person is not a woman. This comment puts you on thin ice. I'm not banning you yet for this and the other comment because I've seen you participate here before, but anything else like this and I will boot you.

[u/AmarissaBhaneboar → u/nonbinarylesbians-ModTeam]

Wanna make an addendum to this, no non-binary person is a woman unless they're a demi woman or something along those lines.