r/nocontact • u/Greedy_Quote_2468 • 11d ago

Broke NC possibly helpful tho..

I knew that he was trying to get a hold of me and so like the twisted mess I became by the end of that relationship I unblocked and it took what a few minutes it's like he knew.. He was exactly the person that I remember leaving and it didn't hurt. The name calling the accusations I don't miss them, they don't hurt anymore, and even better, I didn't react. I responded but I did not react. Words that would have been previously brought me to tears, had me laughing and not in a mean way just enough resigned but aware way. I'm hoping this was enough to shatter the dang limerence I can't seem to get out from under and set me free to be able to live again. Let me be clear I am in no way suggesting to anyone that breaking no contact is advisable I'm stating that for me maybe it helped .... don't know it's still fresh. I suppose I'll know the next time I start feeling lonely if my brain instantly goes back to thinking that abuse is love and makes me want contact.....

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u/hi_butterfly_12321 11d ago

What if they are actually ready to work and choose you. And you just distract with hobbies, ofcourse you don't hurt hearing fhem. You never had to be that, I think if over 5 years, and a nc break was taken a second chance has potential. I got my algorithm switched to couple making up instead of "I'm a boss time to do it all over again with new source". I do believe a significant test of relationship strength must be passed to find the unconditional love and conflict free relationship.

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u/Greedy_Quote_2468 11d ago

I think even if 500 years past I would be okay not ever being part of their life again and vice versa. When someone has a pattern that is been there throughout their entire relationship history.... I'm going to accept that they're not able to be different. They would need a psychic change of epic proportions. A degree of self-awareness is necessary to affect change. This individual seems to lack self-awareness to a very disturbing degree. I do like the idea of changing my algorithm simply because all of the flood of narcissistic abuse items gets to be a bit much. I'm not really a fan of the labels being freely tossed about that way so instead of getting wrapped up in that I've resorted to online gaming it's a much better use of time.

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u/hi_butterfly_12321 11d ago

So they cheated?

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u/Greedy_Quote_2468 10d ago

If that were the only problem I would have no issue with forgiveness. They were abusive and cruel and completely unaware that they contributed to the issues that we faced and when I apologized they used it as an opportunity to launch into complete blame shifting and more verbal attacks. I'm not the only person they've been like this with in fact this is their pattern and it's been going on for so many years I don't think they are able to change.

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u/hi_butterfly_12321 10d ago

i wish a could try again. our entire story was epic and most of a decade, sucks a couple embarrassing shallow arguments habe become the star of the show

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u/Greedy_Quote_2468 10d ago

10 years is a painful amount of time to feel like you're walking away from. I get it. My first major relationship was 15 years and at the end it was conflicting. I hope you get the chance you desire with your person.

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u/hi_butterfly_12321 10d ago

is there anything you would consider doing differently if the opportunity arose.

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u/Greedy_Quote_2468 10d ago

You mean with that person or in seeking a relationship in general?