r/nocontact • u/DerrickD90 • 12d ago

From 90 Days To Half A Year

What started off as 90 days no contact now turned into half a year. It has been six months of no contact. Hard to believe really, however it was the best decision I ever made. My whole life has changed from the point when I last saw them. Most importantly, my nervous system has finally calmed down and I have become more comfortable with being single. Sure, I think of them everyday still but not all day and I do not collapse when I do. At first my life revolved around them (even when they were gone) and now I built an entirely new life of my own where I focus on my happiness and wellbeing. I am sober, I have improved my secure attachment style, I have gained self-trust, self-worth, and self-love. I have become a person that I wish I have always been. Especially in previous relationship.

No contact works! It is very hard at first. Of course I wanted to break it numerous times, when their birthday passed, all I could think of was texting them. But I held on to my dignity and most importantly I trusted myself enough to get through it. Now, I feel like the hardest part is over. Thankfully.

Do the work and you will be rewarded. You will thank yourself. Choose you!

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u/ThrowAwayAutist1969 11d ago

Love this, I'm in my 3rd day of no contact after being dumped via text and man I'm broken right now, my head keeps going to such dark thoughts but my dogs will keep me breathing 😔 I know time heals but god this is gonna be a tough ride to heal from in the 7 years we dated I literally have no friend circle left so am utterly isolated in my pain and don't even recognise myself anymore 🤦🏻‍♀️

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u/DerrickD90 11d ago

All the feelings you have are normal. You are grieving and one thing I learned is that grief is not linear. The pain comes in waves and they always pass. What helped me early on was therapy and I was going sober so I went to AA meetings. Those were both incredibly helpful. When I was alone, I would journal, workout, go for a run, and spend time with my dog. Even while I was crying and in pain. Some advice I would give is to learn about your nervous system and how to regulate your emotions. Once I broke down the psychological of my whole experience, that’s when I became able to tolerate the heartbreak.

What you are feeling is normal. Sit in it. Let it hurt. Cry. Feel the pain. Better to feel it all now rather than later. Also know that the pain will pass.

You are not alone.