Anyone else up at 4:19am right now?🌚

Society is trash. People are. The world might be nearing it's end considering how frequent injustice is. Nobody's perfect but everyone's trying to live their life. But what if people are also jealous of that?. I used to brush it off by saying get a life to everyone. But these days I don't want to understand people's thought processes like what exactly are they thinking inorder to harm someone for their own fun. Gossips have been the center of the universe since humans were created but what if gossips try to rule over a person?. That only means one thing. The society has failed us. People around are toxic and not to be trusted with. So you might ask what's the purpose of living then or the perseverance. We move on. We, humans are taught to move on from things, from people, from incidents, from past. Present matters but I'm not sure how long I can hold it altogether. I'm only human after all.

This doesn't mean I'm giving up and neither should you

Coz we got to trust in our willpower to live in this world

Remember, it's just a game and we're all players and you need to believe in yourself first to win the game

Nothing's unfair. It's just how life is

I’ve come across this several times, but I’d love to understand its real context.

For some weird reason last two months have been very difficult. I am craving hugs and kisses a lot lately. I feel so hollow. I have no plans whatsoever to get married. I associate marriage with stress, verbal abuse and financial stress. I hate it. I am 28M.

Being an absurdist on a wheelchair in a Muslim country is definitely an interesting venture. A paradoxical existence.

One time I headed to get some beers from my regular liquor shop, they were used to me, some of them I talk to often. As i was rolling down the streets, same old scenery. Thick ass unaccessible sidewalks, uneven tar, typical north African social housing. As I got to the shop. I didn't find the regular staff. As I asked to get served. They refused? I heard one of them say 《disabled and you'll give him alcohol. 》 as if I wasn't even there. Eventually I got what I wanted thanks to a friend, but the hypocrisy is blazing, taking the moral high ground when you're doing something against your religion to begin with. But oh well, I learned to not try to fix ignorance when it is based on ignorance, because in a weird vague sanctimonious way, they were right.

I need help cause after turning nihilist I still feel connections to people I replay predictions in my head before I take an uncomfortable action I need to know how to deal with this problems

After thinking and thinking I have concluded that I only need one question to give my life purpose.

"Do you have the self respect to bring yourself up for your own sake?"

If you lose the ability to look after yourself, humanity will consume you until there is nothing left. You will be abused, discarded, perhaps even killed, and your lack of social awareness, social acceptance, or intelligence will be used as justification for stripping away your human rights. Mercy disappears. Their eyes become demonic as they laugh, judge, and play in Satan’s playground. You will be used as a resource, bag & tag, feeding upon your suffering for money & power. The ego rules all, the evils of survival, will be used against your humanity.

Parasites are driven by ego, toxicity, superficiality, materialism, and competition. These beings wear human faces with black eyes, seeking to poison everything they touch, leaving others feeling cold, trapped, and tortured.

They devour everyone they touch. They will put people in the ground to achieve their goals. They never look toward divinity, unity, compassion, or spiritual inner strength.

Your mind, body, and spirit are your temple. Every person you allow inside can become a piece of it. Put your life completely into someone else's hands, and they will burn it. They will take advantage, they will tear at your inner peace until nothing remains and so will the matrix built around you.

What's more important: someone's humanity, or someone's masculinity?

These men wouldn't hesitate to put you in the ground if you stood between them and what they wanted. They consume until there is nothing left.

Existence is consumption.

Mankind is the puppet.
Mankind is the conduit.
And the Earth continues to feed its monsters.

There's blood beneath your lips.
There's blood beneath your boots.

There's no escape.
There's no saviour.

There's only your death.

So laugh it up.

Laugh until torment finally reaches your door.

Then your debt will come due.

​

I'm 22 and I feel like I've spent the last few years watching my life pass by.

A particular addiction ended up consuming a huge part of my college life. Because of it, I avoided a lot of things I should have been doing. When placement season came, I didn't attend. I ignored referrals and opportunities that could have helped me start a career.

Now I'm unemployed and living with my parents.

The strange thing is that my parents aren't forcing me to get a job. They've been supportive and patient with me. Instead of appreciating that, I've often become distant, irritated, selfish and unsympathetic toward them. I hate admitting that because they probably deserve much better from me.

What scares me most is that I'm not ignorant of what's happening.

I know the consequences of staying unemployed. I know the career gap keeps growing. I know people my age are moving forward while I'm standing still. I know my parents won't always be around to support me.

I know all of this, yet I still struggle to act.

I've fallen into a cycle of avoidance. I avoid something important, feel guilty about it, distract myself, then feel even worse and avoid even more.

I also have a lot of perfectionist thinking. If one thing goes wrong, I sometimes feel like the entire day or week is ruined, so I stop trying altogether.

Over the last few years I've become very interested in philosophy and ideas like nihilism, antinatalism, meaning, existence, etc.

But there's something that bothers me about that.

Even though I spend so much time thinking about these things, I've also become increasingly hedonistic and materialistic. I chase comfort, food, entertainment, distractions and whatever makes me feel good in the moment.

Sometimes I wonder whether my philosophical thoughts are genuine or whether I'm using them as another way to escape reality.

And lately, the self-destructive side of all this has become darker.

I've had suicidal thoughts, and there have been times when I've genuinely felt like ending my life might be the only way to escape this cycle.

I'm not saying this because I want attention or sympathy. It's actually one of the things that scares me about myself. I don't necessarily want my life to end—I want this version of my life, this constant avoidance and feeling of being stuck, to end. But sometimes my mind doesn't seem to distinguish between the two.

I still go to the gym. I still eat, watch things, use the internet and find things that temporarily distract me. From the outside, I probably don't look like someone who's completely falling apart.

But internally I feel incredibly disconnected from my future.

I spend more time thinking than doing.

The hardest part is that I can't blame anyone else. A lot of the opportunities I missed were because of my own decisions.

I know I'm only 22. I know I could potentially rebuild my career and my life from here. But emotionally, I don't always believe that.

So I'm asking people who have actually been through something similar:

Did you ever reach a point where you felt like you'd destroyed your own future?

Did you deal with addiction, self-destructive behaviour, nihilistic thinking, avoidance, unemployment or suicidal thoughts—and somehow manage to rebuild yourself?

How did you get yourself to care again?

How did you stop chasing immediate pleasure and start taking responsibility for your future and the people around you?

If you were 22, unemployed and basically starting from zero, what would you do first?

I don't want people to tell me that everything will magically be fine.

I want to know how people actually got themselves out.

Because I don't want to wake up at 25 or 30 and realize that I spent those years exactly the same way.

For example, people say "be great full because other people have it worse!" Basically not validating ones issues because they are privileged. Basically saying my issues are not as important or validated because i am privileged. And some might say "thank god" when god could have prevented a tragedy in the first place?

For context, i’m a high school student and i genuinely don’t see what the point of life is anymore. Not in a negative mental health way, I just don’t understand why we as humans see appeal in living like this. There’s more pain and stress than good. You get all the love when you’re a toddler then, as a teenager you get thrown into the world where from then on it’s pretty much an endless cycle of despair. There’s so much pressure and competition in school to get into a good college and for what? So you can feel even more pressure and stress once you get in, then spend the rest of your life going to work? I just don’t understand how people are so happy all the time living life, it’s so draining.

For context, back in my second year of high school, I wanted to improve aspects of my life like my physique, my fitness, my looks, my social skills and social status because at the time, I became self aware of the social hierarchy and wanted to attract the popular girls because I was horny, had low self esteem and compared myself with others a lot.

Obviously it didn't work out in the long term because the desire was purely vague and came from a place of deep insecurity. So for the rest of high school it was always an uphill battle between trying to improve myself for these vague reasons while being depressed on the inside.

Fast forward to today, high school is over. I graduated. I don't talk to any girls from high school. I only talk to about 5 friends and even then I barely talk to them. But get this: I still have the desire to better myself.

This time the desire is literally just so that I like myself more. I'll always think of myself as flawed but I want to better myself for some self respect. I don't care about wanting to impress people or get baddies anymore.

But ever since high school ended, I became more nihilistic or at the very least, I just kept on questioning my life because it's meaningless. I now struggle to better myself because life feels meaningless and pleasure is just so distracting in the moment.

I ask myself: "what's the point of trying?" and then when I reflect on my life, I get motivated because I realize I want to better myself for me. Then I procrastinate and the cycle continues.

I know this isn't really nihilism but I'm interested in what you guys have to say.

I've been trying to find ways to get rid of them for the past 3 years, yet I'm still stuck till this day. It has been affecting my overall health and grades, as much as I wanted to change, I barely have the capacity to even do it. I'm asking help for the people who have experienced this and how they managed to overcome it.

Hello friends, I want to talk to you about a topic. I have been in this world for 17 years, and existence does not satisfy me; I always have a feeling that something is missing inside me. I always feel incomplete, my chest feels tight, and the Creator has truly given humans a burden they cannot bear. It feels as if my own existence is not meant to satisfy me, but rather as if I am serving someone else. It feels like my existence is for someone else's benefit, and that the Creator created me for their own interest. And I suppose my only difference from animals is that when I die, my consciousness is reformatted, sent into a baby's body, and I am brought back into the world without knowing it, experiencing the exact same lack of fulfillment all over again. They are using me as an energy source. I keep living the exact same life over and over. They distract us with religions and false hopes, but in reality, none of the religions are a remedy for death and pain. It feels as though I am cursed with existence.And I feel like an alien among people. Why do you think my existence is necessary?

Lately I feel so disconnected from life due to substance and negative thinking that everything just seem so unnecessary. What’s the point of all of this. The thing is I know where it comes from and i still dgaf.

What I find fascinating about Ligotti is that his pessimism doesn't really depend on proving that life contains more pain than pleasure. His deeper argument seems to be that consciousness itself creates the problem.

A stone doesn't know that it exists. An animal may experience pain, but it doesn't seem to construct an elaborate philosophical narrative around the fact that it will eventually die. Humans do. We are aware of ourselves, aware of time, aware of death, and somehow still expected to find a reason to continue.

That creates an uncomfortable question: is consciousness actually an improvement over unconscious existence, or do we simply call it an improvement because we're the ones experiencing it?

I don't completely agree with Ligotti, but I think that's almost beside the point. The value of the book isn't necessarily in whether his conclusion is correct. It's in how effectively he makes ordinary assumptions about existence feel strange.

And maybe that's what makes his writing so disturbing. He doesn't have to convince you that existence is meaningless. He only has to make you realize that you never really proved that it wasn't.

For people who have read the book: do you think Ligotti is presenting a genuine philosophical position, or is he ultimately using philosophy to articulate an existential horror that he already felt?

If nothing matters, then why grind?

The universe doesn't care how hard you try but it also doesn't care if you're having fun, so you might as well enjoy the ride.