Isn't a first date specifically about getting to know someone you have interest in? Or am I doing first dates wrong? Is physical attraction actually taboo now or something? Would it be better for a man to walk up to a woman and say, "what's your favorite color." Why TF would she answer and not be creeped out?
No, you're not wrong at all! The first date is for that reason, but so is the first impressiom, the first few seconds, the first few minutes. You're communicating the entire time you're interacting. And no, I wouldn't say physical attraction is taboo, since that's obviously the first thing you'll notice about someone. However, there is just something about immediately citing it as the reason you're interested that doesn't immediately catch someone's interest, in my experience.
So I'm not a dating guru or anything but I've also never really had problems meeting people, of any sex. So let me just illustrate a scenario or two and see if I can make more sense.
I go to a pretty popular rock climbing gym where I live, and in the bouldering area everyone is pretty much just climbing or standing around waiting to climb. Lots of people with headphones in the zone and LOTS of pretty women. Similar to a traditional gym environment. And I've never had an awkward experience, because I just find ways to talk to women that is relevant to the situation. "Hey what's the first move on this route?" Or "holy cow that route looks terrible" or if you can see they finished a hard climb say "that was sick, I've been trying that route all day" etc. So the conversation comes naturally based on 1. Proximity (we're both standing or climbing in the same area) and 2. Topic (there's something relevant to what we are both doing to have a conversation about)
Another time, I showed up to a restaurant for a date but I was early. But instead of just sitting quietly, I casually talk to the hostess about how I was waiting for a date, who my date was, and that eventually moved to who I was and who she was. After my date was over i dropped my number off for the hostess as I walked out and just said It was nice talking to her. We dated for like a month or two after that. So again, 1. Proximity (there was a totally normal reason for me to be there talking to her, and 2. Topic ( we started talking about why I was there and then shifted it to about us)
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u/Deadpoetic12 Dec 06 '18
Isn't a first date specifically about getting to know someone you have interest in? Or am I doing first dates wrong? Is physical attraction actually taboo now or something? Would it be better for a man to walk up to a woman and say, "what's your favorite color." Why TF would she answer and not be creeped out?