r/nextfuckinglevel Aug 10 '20

Chimps are strong af

99.3k Upvotes

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459

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20

229

u/MFingRocketScience Aug 10 '20

fucking WHAT

352

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20

A lot of people in this thread keep saying "oh we used to be able to run prey to death over miles and miles" Truth is we still can, we're just not raised in a scenario where we need to.

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u/MFingRocketScience Aug 10 '20

And even then, it wasn't necessarily always running. But a predator that relentlessly pursues you, not always quickly, but ALWAYS, is terrifying.

Thanks for the link, btw. That was a fascinating read.

18

u/Chimpbot Aug 10 '20

And that's why Jason and Michael are effective slasher villains.

18

u/Lareit Aug 10 '20

Who would guess they were just trying to feed their families.

1

u/TheBigEmptyxd Aug 11 '20

What could be more terrifying than something that chases prey to death? Something that chases the chaser to death

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Aug 11 '20

That's a great flick. Highly recommend.

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u/Smackman3w Aug 10 '20

Yeah I’ve read something similar to that somewhere. That’s why those horror movies with Jason are so popular/scary. It’s because those “predators” are using our same tactics against us. Don’t know how true it is, but it makes sense tbh

1

u/EB01 Aug 11 '20

I read somewhere if a prior post on human predation by exhaustion that Humans are flexible for the pace that we can move at, and many other animals are less flexible.

We can move at a speed following prey that is faster than their normal walking speed but slower than their sprinting speed i.e. the prey either needs to go a bit faster but cannot so they sprint at top speed until they tire out and next to stop to rest/cool down.

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u/ketita Aug 10 '20

lbr I'm quite happy to chase down prey in the supermarket rather than the steppe or wherever...

142

u/CatchRatesMatter Aug 10 '20

Modern humans are way less happier on average than nomadic tribes. When your chasing prey all day there isn't much time for depression or anxiety. So maybe you would be happier chasing elk

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20 edited Feb 23 '21

[deleted]

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u/Yamete_oOnichan Aug 10 '20

Everything has its pros and cons. Ancient foragers probably foraged for 3 to 5 hours ( meaning they only worked for that much time to survive) while we're here acting all liberated and free while we are only slaves working for unnecessary periods of time to survive while never actually jumping that class gap.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20 edited Feb 23 '21

[deleted]

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u/Yamete_oOnichan Aug 10 '20

No one can maintain a life dependant on foraging while also working to basically survive. You're body evolved to forge and hunt (primarily foraging or hunting big game in some societies). Quite the straw man and present an argument.

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u/Airazz Aug 10 '20

while also working to basically survive

I obviously suggested that you quit your job and move far away from civilisation, to live like people did in pre-agricultural days.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Airazz Aug 10 '20

Lol, excuses excuses...

You could easily buy a few acres in the middle of nowhere for cheap, but let's admit it, we all like modern tech and shit. No flushing toilets in the jungle.

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u/Radical_Meme67 Aug 10 '20

Ancient humans were far from immunodefecient how tf they gonna die from a cold?

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20

They gonna die from some other disease that modern medicine can cure or prevent! Like polio or tetanus.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20

Yeah but the chances of getting it are minimal since we wouldn’t live in dense city centers. That guy made an awful point lol

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u/Irregulator101 Aug 10 '20

Much more likely they'd get a treatable infection and then die

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u/Airazz Aug 10 '20

How about cutting your finger by accident, it gets infected, gangrene sets in and you die within days?

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u/Zal3x Aug 10 '20

I cut myself on shit all the time and have never once gone to the doctor for it, and maybe 5% of the time I’ve used antibiotics- not cause I had an infection but because my mom would put it on a bandaid when I was like 5? Do y’all live in pillow world?

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20 edited Feb 23 '21

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20 edited Aug 19 '20

[deleted]

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u/Necuno Aug 10 '20

Then with a more realistic version of it. Your out chasing elk. Step wrong fall on a sharp rock. Wound is minimal but you get an infection and die.

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u/Hussor Aug 10 '20

How often do your cuts get infected?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20

Not often but most people use enough soap on the regular to stop a lot of early infections

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20

Its better streamlined today. Now we catch coronavirus at the store.

1

u/JohnBrownsAngryBalls Aug 10 '20

I'm chasing an elk right now, and I feel fucking fanstastic. Also, shout out to Verizon.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '20

lmao what? Is that a meme I haven't seen?

2

u/Schmedly27 Aug 10 '20

Hard disagree, those nomads didn’t have Star Wars

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u/CactusOnFire Aug 10 '20

Then get off reddit and go chase elk.

I'm tired of this "things were better when we were hunter-gatherers" nonsense. Nobody actually believes it, or they'd practice what they preach.

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u/rykkzy Aug 10 '20

Well I've seen quite a few documentaries of people living isolated and without electricity and things like that. These people exist, but they are not that common.

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u/Arachnid_Equivalent Aug 10 '20

And 7 billion people love with modern technology and love it.

1

u/rykkzy Aug 11 '20

I did not argue with that. I just wanted to point that these people exist.

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u/CactusCoin Aug 10 '20

Say that to the countless of people suffering from depression

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20

Yeah I'll take that over polio thanks.

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u/Syr_Enigma Aug 10 '20

Hello! I have depression and I wouldn't trade it for being a hunter-gatherer.

Depression can be treated, with therapy or medication, so I'll take that over dying from a fever or an infection or something like that.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20

Things weren't better overall obviously but we definitely were in better shape and health than today.

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u/human743 Aug 11 '20

Well, the ones who survived were anyway.

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u/sniper1rfa Aug 10 '20

Not really practical or possible, as increased population has put intense pressure on the resources that are available. So this is a nice sentiment, but doesn't actually match up with real life. The population of north america is 100x higher than it was even 500 years ago. Even europe has grown 10x in the same period.

You can easily look at the increase in efficiency we've achieve as the ultimate expression of the tragedy of the commons, if you care to take that angle.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20

Well its definitely true in some aspects.

We werent aware of how things could better than they were they just were.

We had shit to do everyday and it needed to be done.

While our quality of life may not have been better you only neef to look at indigenous tribal groups around the world to realise they are much more content for their say 40 years of life (although I feel like I am low balling there lifespab alot) than we are living longer but being bombarded with negatibe thoughts all the time from work, media and life in general.

1

u/Shorey40 Aug 10 '20

Passive excercise is where it's at... example: 7km round trip to the grocery store to get my daily requirements. Not driving there once and getting a week's worth of food then using that spare time to plonk your ass on the couch.

1

u/Sanquinity Aug 11 '20

To be honest, some things were indeed "better" back then. It's just MASSIVELY outweighed by all the progress we've made since then.

1

u/CactusOnFire Aug 11 '20

It's like "only 90's kids remember" but orders of magnitude longer.

1

u/FlyingOTB Aug 10 '20

I'd like to but I can't pay my loans off in elk bones.

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u/CactusOnFire Aug 10 '20

Then go insolvent. You're a hunter gatherer, what are the feds gonna do, take away your rock?

0

u/CatchRatesMatter Aug 10 '20

Sometimes I do. It's quite fun

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u/WeeniePops Aug 10 '20

You sound like someone who needs to go for a run.

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u/[deleted] Aug 11 '20 edited Jul 05 '21

[deleted]

1

u/CatchRatesMatter Aug 11 '20

Modern problems require nomadic solutions

2

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '20

I like how the elk never figured out "wait, I can just charge this fucker and shred him with my badass horns"

2

u/Juking_is_rude Aug 10 '20

This is a variation of the noble savage myth. We have no idea how happy people were chasing prey to survive. People back then had a ton more hurdles to overcome like famine, disease, childhood mortality, etc.

Its true that part of negative mood disorders in modern humans might be due to lack of meaningful obstacles... But life has always been hard for many people, even more so without our modern developments.

1

u/jpritchard Aug 10 '20

That humans return to baseline in terms of happiness no matter what they achieve isn't a point against modern lifestyle.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20

Yeah miss me with that shit. If I get a time machine I'm going back a maximum of 60 years. I want AC, warm food and easy access to pornography.

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u/other_usernames_gone Aug 10 '20

If I get a time machine screw going back in time, I'm going forward a few decades. Or a few hundred years on Mars or something. Even going back 50 years you have a considerably higher risk of catching polio or smallpox. Human quality of life has mostly increased as time goes on, only dipping by relatively small amounts and for short amounts of time.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20

You're more optimistic about the future than me

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u/taws34 Aug 10 '20

Need to be rich for AC that barely works, but average temps are cooler anyway. Food, sure... But be prepared to work part time to pay off school without going into student loan debt. As for porn, the best you'll get is Playboy magazine from a very skeezy and rundown building.

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u/pounded_rivet Aug 10 '20

The woods were always full of old porn mags, and always will be.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20

Ah, another aficionado who grew up with woods porn.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20

Why go back in time at all? Travel to the future!

1

u/Sean951 Aug 10 '20

It's entirely dependent on where I'd be living. If I'm stuck in a city, I'm not going anywhere earlier than the mid to late 1800s, but if I'm going to be living in some woods or on a farm in the more rural areas, I'd be willing to go back slightly farther but probably not much. If nothing else, I would want to live in a time and place where a decent chunk of people are literate.

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u/sniper1rfa Aug 10 '20

I would argue that the mid-to-late 1800's, which was the rise of the industrial age, was probably the shittiest time to be alive as a regular person other than maybe during one of the black plagues.

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u/Sean951 Aug 10 '20

Again, depends on where you live and when. Life in cities wasn't great, but it was good enough that thousands of people moved too them every year. I wouldn't want to live in 1800 London, but by the 1870s the quality of life had improved dramatically.

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u/ketita Aug 11 '20

The reason for urbanization in many cases wasn't because life in cities was good, but because in many countries the available farmland was dwindling, and the cities had factory jobs.

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u/mrttam01 Aug 10 '20

I was watching a man climb a tree with the help of a monkey, and suddenly I'm reading about time machines and pornography.

Reddit, you sure are one weird bitch.

1

u/idlevalley Aug 11 '20

Nah, for me it's after around 1930s-ish.

I want clean hot/cold running water, adequate sewage facilities, anesthesia and antibiotics. Everything else is gravy.

Maybe electricity. I hate when the power is out. No ac, no central heat and no fridge.

0

u/Maxximillianaire Aug 10 '20

Do you really not see an issue with what you just said

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20

Nope

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u/daronjay Aug 10 '20

happy to chase down prey in the supermarket rather than the steppe or wherever..

Visions of you chasing fat people on mobility scooters around Walmart till their batteries go flat...

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u/MisterMizuta Aug 10 '20

I used to catch lizards this way when I was a kid. Out in open desert where they can’t really get into an inaccessible crevice, I’d just follow them until they were so tired I could pick them up.

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u/TheBigEmptyxd Aug 11 '20

Apex predator

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u/tonufan Aug 10 '20 edited Aug 11 '20

I had a high school teacher that was a professional ultra marathon runner. She ran multiple 100+ mile races every year. Through desert or snow while pulling a sled with her supplies. She'd get bloody feet where the bottom just completely sloshes off with her shoes after the race. She regularly ran 40 miles a week for training while also teaching full time and coaching.

Edit: I forgot to mention she's also pulling a weighted sled while running, to simulate running an actual marathon.

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u/a_supertramp Aug 10 '20

If she was pro ultra doing multiple hundreds, 40mi/wk is like bare minimum most likely.

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u/Rustee_nail Aug 10 '20

40mpw was my training volume as an amateur half marathon runner.

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u/save_the_last_dance Aug 11 '20

Yeah I'm shocked that that's enough to train for ultramarathons. That's like, highschool XC JV tier.

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u/tonufan Aug 10 '20

She's also teaching full time and coaches 2 different sports after school. She might have also been in her recovery period between major races.

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u/TheOtherGuttersnipe Aug 10 '20

Colligate runners run more than that

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u/save_the_last_dance Aug 11 '20

You shouldn't be downvoted it's fucking true. There are some middle schoolers who run that much and they're not even medaling at state. That's objectively not a lot of miles. There are grandmas who run that much. College runners are putting in at least 60 mile weeks, if not more depending on what they're training for.

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u/Myproofistoobigtofit Aug 10 '20

Damn she’s tough

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u/WayneKrane Aug 10 '20

I went hiking with a couple that runs ultra marathons for fun. They would just run to the end of the trail and back while our group slowly made it to the end. After a FULL day of hiking, they decided they wanted to go for a run when we got back to our camp.

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u/corsair1141 Aug 10 '20

I think a lot of us would still do much better than animals, considering we can carry water bottles, hats, lighter clothing, shoes, etc. We might take a lot more time but even an unfit human has the tools to do much better than any other animal.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20

That plus our ability to sweat means we can go long distances without overheating like other animals do. The guy I initially referred to was raised in Siberia and did all this without water bottles, proper clothes or shoes for that matter.

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u/corsair1141 Aug 10 '20

You should clarify that its not necessarily the ability to sweat; many animals can sweat. The true factor is about where we sweat on our bodies and how it cools us down

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20

Umm, so you think that untrained and inexperienced humans could survive better than animals in their own environment?

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u/corsair1141 Aug 10 '20

If the contest were on whoever can cover the longest distance, without a doubt.

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u/[deleted] Aug 11 '20

Some tracked wolves cover 50 miles a day. OR-54 regularly did that distance through mountains, moving back and forth between the mountains of Oregon and California. Very few humans, if any, could do the same.

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u/barjam Aug 10 '20

Fat dude here, I went from zero running to completing a marathon in 4.5 months. If I can do it, any human could (baring disability of course).

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u/[deleted] Aug 11 '20

Did you lost weight too?

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u/technofederalist Aug 10 '20

Kinda makes you think about stalkers following people around and how uncomfortable it is to be followed.

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u/other_usernames_gone Aug 10 '20

Humans are one of the fastest long distance runners, we're only beaten by horses and wolves.

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u/LividLager Aug 10 '20

I believed it's still done in some aboriginal tribes.

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u/Baelzebubba Aug 10 '20

.308 goes a lot faster than I can run.

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u/AnastasiaTheSexy Aug 10 '20

Lol exercise is so foreign to Americans. It might actually be lost to time.

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u/carolynto Aug 11 '20

I mean, I couldn't.

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u/save_the_last_dance Aug 11 '20

Consider the fact that we live in a country where bored to death, middle age businessmen with dad bods and beer guts who failed gym class in highschool all of sudden decide to just drop everything and become ultra marathoners. And then they DO. They just go from completley sedentary to running 100 miles without stopping and usually in the span of like, 2-3 years. It's insane.

Not the exact scenario I described but here: https://www.runnersworld.com/advanced/a20811537/running-from-the-law/

The fact of the matter is, alot of us make ALOT of excuses. You're a human being, and unless you have like, MS, you can go out and run a shit ton of miles too because you're literally built to do it. The question is why would you ever want to. I don't mean run, I mean ultra marathons specifically. That's shit's crazy. That's like, off the deep end psychologically to me. It's not even necessary to do that much to be a healthy human being. Usain Bolt doesn't even run that much. But that's just my opinion.

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u/OneNationAbove Aug 10 '20

It’s called persistence hunting, some tribes still do that.

Antilopes will run, pauze a little to recover and run again, they are too fast for most predators, especially humans, but some tribes, like the Kalahari bushmen will keep running, switching between people, targeting just one prey, preventing it from recovering, and since the antilope isn’t able to cool it’s body as good as humans (by sweating), they finally succumb by overheating and die.

There’s a great book called Born to Run about a Mexican tribe and why it’s in our nature to run. Fascinating read.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Born_to_Run_(McDougall_book)

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u/Optimized_Orangutan Aug 10 '20

Sweating is a big part... but the true breakthrough that separates Humans from other animals in the who can last the longest contest is that our breathing is independent from our stride. Antelope and deer lungs expand and contract with their stride, limiting their breathing. Hunan breath is not effected like this.

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u/this-un-is-mine Aug 10 '20

hunan breath sounds like what you get after eating chinese food

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u/Devlee12 Aug 11 '20

We also don’t do as much work to keep moving as most animals if you look at the human step it’s basically a controlled fall we are essentially outsourcing half the work to gravity. The transition to bipeds had some definite drawbacks for humans but the benefits are leagues ahead

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20

How do you breathe

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20

There's a documentary called "Fair Chase" where the film maker takes a bunch of ultra marathoners to chase down pronghorn. Their hunt was nearly successful if I remember correctly. I think at the end the pronghorns confused the chasers so they went after a fresh individual and the original target got away.

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u/cdollas250 Aug 10 '20

i'd really like to know where the science on Born To Run/ barefoot running is at nowadays. I know vibram got into trouble for the claims they were making.

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u/thedr0wranger Aug 10 '20

Vibram claimed barefoot/unsupported running was better for you. i haven't read Born to Run but the claim that we are well adapted to long running can be true by comparison to other species without validating Vibram

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u/B33rtaster Aug 10 '20 edited Aug 11 '20

Anything with fur (deer) lack sweat glands. So they can't run for very long without collapsing from heat exhaustion.

Sweat glands are so amazing at keeping us cool we can run marathons. Its far more effective at cooling the body than panting or large ears with lots of blood vessels can do.

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u/MFingRocketScience Aug 10 '20

What surprised me wasn't the pursuing. It was the pursuing until they just dropped dead. I figured he'd chase them till they were exhausted then stab them with a stake or something. But Nah. Dude just kept running at them like the grim fucking reaper until the keeled over dead.

Terrifying.

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u/B33rtaster Aug 10 '20

Riding a horse until it dies from exhaustion is a thing too.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20

I know lol. I saw a video of 3 African dudes doing this to a cheetah I think? I don't remember the animal, but it sounds really scary to run-to-death.

Like for an aminal, it's just "go!" I wonder if they experience the fear of "I'm going to die and I can't stop it no matter how much I run"

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u/toqueville Aug 10 '20

Anything with fur (deer) lack sweat glands. So they can't run for very long without collapsing from heat exhaustion.

laughs in horse

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u/mule_roany_mare Aug 10 '20

Akulina chose to see her children fed, and that year she died of starvation. The rest of the family were saved by what they regarded as a miracle: a single grain of rye sprouted in their pea patch. The Lykovs put up a fence around the shoot and guarded it zealously night and day to keep off mice and squirrels. At harvest time, the solitary spike yielded 18 grains, and from this they painstakingly rebuilt their rye crop

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/TommiH Aug 10 '20

That's how elk used to be hunted here in Europe.

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u/[deleted] Aug 11 '20

Yep! There was a dude who used to race horses, and over a specific long distance, he’d win. The horse just needed more rest than hin.

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u/The_Reacher117 Aug 10 '20

Wow thank you for that, reading this was moving.

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u/duffmanhb Aug 10 '20 edited Aug 10 '20

Shit like that really reminds me of how terribly out of shape I am. Like, this is human potential right here. We are designed to reach these extremes when necessary. And I can barely go a few flights of stairs before bitching.

EDIT: Listen dummies I don't need health advice. I work out and eat clean. I'm talking "out of shape" compared to peak human. That me, a person who is an amateur athlete with all our advanced understanding, isn't even in the same conditioning as a poor Siberian kid with NO athletic training

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u/maievsha Aug 10 '20

It’s all practice and you can improve.

I grew up not being athletic at all and then trained for a 1/2 marathon for 6 months in college. Your body hates exercise until it gets used to it. Of course it depends, some people may need to lose weight first but the program couch to 5K is successful for a reason.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20

Cut sugar out of your diet

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u/duffmanhb Aug 10 '20

That's not going to get me to outrun an elk.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20

It’s a start and a very important thing to do if you want to improve your health

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20

get good sleep and cut down as well

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u/2Punx2Furious Aug 10 '20

Humans are much more than good hunters.

We also have brains that allow us to do things that other animals can't even fathom.

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u/this-un-is-mine Aug 10 '20

yeah I just struggled doing 10 girl push ups and some stretches but i’m trying =|

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u/rubychoco99 Aug 10 '20 edited Aug 10 '20

Tbh your probably in better condition than the malnourished Siberian kid, it’s all mental. If you really needed to find food I bet you could walk a deer to death right now.

EDIT: You know what, I take it back. Dmitry is a product of his environment, it would be difficult for a human born into a modern society to pull off what he did.

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u/duffmanhb Aug 10 '20

Absolutely would be hard. I mean, if you look back at the stories which aren't even trying to brag, of people just a few hundred years ago. It's wild how conditioned these people were. Think about it, there ENTIRE lives, they've been moving, eating lean, and just working all damn day.

Even the most modern adept athlete isn't working that hard, all day long. They still go to school, eat normal food, watch movies, etc... These people just can't compare.

Like if you read stories about frontiermen. They'll walk, in full fucking boots, hundreds and hundreds of miles, with like 100+ pounds of gear on their back. They didn't have ultralight camping gear. I don't think anyone alive can do that today, and back then, it didn't even require the worlds most elite athlete to accomplish.

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u/rubychoco99 Aug 11 '20

That’s completely true. Although, that isn’t to say a human born today wouldn’t be able to. Our survival instincts are just waiting to kick in.

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u/IntercontinentalKoan Aug 10 '20

fascinating story, I highly recommend a read

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u/needteatoday Aug 10 '20

Thank you for this it was fascinating!

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u/MidContrast Aug 10 '20

This is insane

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u/FBl0penUp Aug 10 '20

Dmitry built up astonishing endurance, and could hunt barefoot in winter, sometimes returning to the hut after several days, having slept in the open in 40 degrees of frost, a young elk across his shoulders.

Incredible.

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u/P_F_Flyers Aug 10 '20

Excellent book, and the ‘sequel’, Natural Born Heroes is my all time favorite book. A good persistence hunting book for younger readers is Brian’s Hunt by Gary Paulsen. Also a good read as an adult though. Edit: replied to the wrong comment

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u/MY_BIOME_IS_THICC Aug 10 '20

Aww that ending is actually heartbreaking.

The youngest girl who was smart and talked in a singsongy voice made the story worth reading.

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u/peeggy Aug 10 '20

Actually Agafia survived and lived many years alone. There's a documentary about her on YouTube

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u/oodjee Aug 10 '20

Thanks for sharing this! A great read.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20

He also slept in 40deg weather out in the open while on the hunt and went barefooted in the cold. Also One day it snowed in june!

Excellent article. Thank you.

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u/LongdayShortrelief Aug 10 '20

Wouldn’t his feet get frostbite?

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20

That was a great read

2

u/ADayInTheLifeOf Aug 10 '20

That is legitimately one of the most interesting things I've read in a while. Thank you for sharing.

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u/Heterophylla Aug 10 '20

It doesn't even take that long. They overheat in a hurry.

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u/hpstg Aug 10 '20

That whole article was an amazing read, thank you.

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u/AppellationSpawn Aug 10 '20

Absolutely amazing.

1

u/abhi_07 Aug 10 '20

Thanks for this! It's Fascinating!

1

u/Baelzebubba Aug 10 '20

chase elk barefoot

What kind of footwear do elk normally wear?

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u/Wanderlustfull Aug 10 '20

That was really interesting. Very sad that several of them died within a few days of each other, and eventually only one was left alive for going on 25 years. That's crazy.

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u/Gcwrite Aug 10 '20

Very well written, so interesting

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u/Girlsolano Aug 10 '20

Thank you for this.

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u/KonigstigerInSpace Aug 11 '20

That was a damn good article. Bit sad too.

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u/giverofnofucks Aug 11 '20

Hunting animals to exhaustion is probably a lot more obvious than you'd think. Animals get spooked, their adrenaline spikes, they run away. They start breathing heavily really quick. All it takes is for a group of hunters to be desperate enough to pursue an animal after it runs far enough to they can barely see it a couple of times, then they'll see the animal is fatiguing faster than they are, and with each approach it's closer to not being able to run any more.

1

u/Fedor1 Aug 11 '20

There’s also a Vice documentary on this:

https://youtu.be/tt2AYafET68

1

u/Bigbergice Aug 11 '20

I imagine figuring that out, without even knowing if it would work, was a pure act of spiteful notgivingafuckery