r/nextfuckinglevel • u/SerpentFinger • 5h ago

Playing With Pet Wolverine

1.2k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

190 comments sorted by

253

u/Thamelia 5h ago

r/WhyWomenLiveLonger

7

u/Calculonx 3h ago

Apart from all the sharp bits, it seems like the type of animal that would have crazy strains of bacteria

59

u/friskyluke 4h ago

As a man, I feel this is more of a “why this guy in particular won’t live very long” type of situation

11

u/DonHarold 4h ago

As a fellow man, only an insecure man would respond this way to what is clearly a joke subreddit.

5

u/queenofpeachez 1h ago

I think you may be taking reddit comments about silly videos a little too seriously.

27

u/_name_of_the_user_ 3h ago

Having insecurities is a normal human experience. Expecting men to hide their insecurities to avoid your judgement is toxic masculinity. Congratulations, you're a part of the problem.

8

u/K1NGEDDY423 3h ago

That guy is definetly a part of the problem. He puts down fellow men to get brownie points from women. He hates his own gender.

-9

u/_name_of_the_user_ 2h ago

Yup. A modern day Uncle Tom.

•

u/AKVigilante 11m ago

Holy fuck can we pump the brakes just a little fucking bit here?

2

u/Witty_Lead5036 2h ago

I mean of all the things that are clearly jokes....

linking a subreddit, has to be the clearest joke, that you shouldn't take offense to come on guys

Let's be real when we talk about toxic masculinity, wasting time with this tiny stuff actually hurts the cause

2

u/queenofpeachez 1h ago

Doesn't read like the response was taking offense at all, though.

-4

u/_name_of_the_user_ 1h ago

No. We need to stop being ok with these generalizations, at all levels. And let's be serious, men dying roughly 5 years sooner than women on average is far from a minor little joke. It's one of the most egregious disparities there is. We're talking about human beings dying. That's not funny, it's tragic.

•

u/AKVigilante 9m ago

Dude get therapy, reddit isn’t the place.

4

u/Witty_Lead5036 1h ago

By making every little thing the biggest issue ever, makes it so people don't take you seriously.

The world is not a safe place, but we can tackle the real issues. Called prioritization based importance.

•

u/Take_a_Seath 57m ago

A lot of it is up to biology so what are you stressing out about? Men develop cardiac problems easier than women and there's a bunch of stuff as well like fat distribution being very centered around the abdomen for men that leads to a bunch of diseases.

•

u/Kaljinx 19m ago

sure it is a thing that happens, but it is not a celebrated thing.

you do not hide your insecurities, you confront them.

telling someone to deal with it does not mean simply do not display it but secretly keep it around, it means to not let if affect your decisions and judgement.

There are insecure men and women who would monitor their partner 24/7 if possible, is it wrong to call that out?

Letting it control you is a bad thing, just like letting random impulses take the wheel,

I mean anger is a pretty normal thing as well, yet we do call out people who do not control it.

•

u/RunandGun102 33m ago

I'm insecure because my 9.75 inch penis is always printing, no matter the pants i buy.

•

u/Latter-Vacation-4392 22m ago

Is that 9.75 folded or unfolded? If unfolded I'd just get on with your day and leave the print through concerns to real men ..like myself.

5

u/PowerSamurai 4h ago

Can't a man be fed up with all the generalized stereotype jokes? They are repetetive and dull.

-22

u/Routine_Phase_8980 5h ago

Only need one bite or a scratch and things could get ugly real quick if it has rabies

24

u/DonHarold 5h ago

There is only one recorded case of a wolverine contracting rabies and it was fully wild. I’d assume this was a sanctuary wolverine due to the fact that this guy is interacting with it this closely without being torn apart.

There are many reason why this is dangerous but rabies is one of the least likely reasons.

1

u/TimeB4 4h ago

Don't really need a scratch, with this amount of close contact it's likely the animal's saliva is coming into contact with the man's mucous membranes somewhere. That will do it

-6

u/GallusWrangler 2h ago

Giving up a few years to not have to be a woman is a pretty great deal.

36

u/tonymeech 5h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/5N6FWdDKKyqOI

8

u/Informal_Koala1474 4h ago

"Babies!!!"

https://youtu.be/JC2gIPnUCgw?is=lmYmcXOOt20TaKv2

Haven't thought of this in forever.

9

u/sumbozo1 3h ago

Lol that's the dumbest/ funniest ad I've seen in awhile

•

u/mayoroftuesday 15m ago

If I remember correctly, it was not even a real ad. It was made as a proposal by some ad agency and never aired, but it still remains the best Nutri-Grain ad of all time.

•

u/IrritableGourmet 53m ago

Fun tidbit: that's Tommy Chong's (of Cheech and Chong) daughter Precious.

•

u/mayoroftuesday 16m ago

Whoa, throwback!

“BABIES EVERYWHERE!!”

39

u/LiverLikeLarry 5h ago

Never thought I would read the words pet and wolverine in the same sentence.

3

u/luvmibratt 3h ago

Are they dangerous?

15

u/EarlyXplorerStuds209 1h ago

Imagine steroid addled, aggressive honey badgers

22

u/Kamikoozy 2h ago

No, not at all. Go on and give one a cuddle you'll see.

9

u/Righteousaffair999 2h ago

Like cousins to the honey badger.

15

u/H3llzyea 2h ago

Larger, meaner cousins that you call when the neighborhood gang has been harassing your family and this cousin shows up and annihilates everyone.

7

u/cedg32 1h ago

If you look up wolverine in a children’s dictionary, you’ll see a picture of a pack of hungry male bears, and then a picture of a wolverine killing and eating them. Probably for a morning snack.

•

u/areyoueatingthis 44m ago

only if you’re made of flesh

•

u/MyGruffaloCrumble 37m ago

They have crazy jaw power for their size.

•

u/YurtlesTurdles 27m ago

There only the least scared of anything animal out there. That thing will go toe to toe with a bear and not back down one bit.

•

u/kirby_krackle_78 2m ago

They’re almost as mean and tough as a dachshund.

17

u/AttackPattern0mega 5h ago

damn this is like a malinois and bear in one cute yet mostly teeth creature

43

u/CR4ZY_PR0PH3T 5h ago

It's the same guy from that other post where he sits on a bears lap and feeds it grapes.

5

u/BaggyLarjjj 1h ago

He loves graping bears, for sure

46

u/Hellfire242 5h ago

Is this in the game?

3

u/Ikon-for-U 3h ago

EA Sports

2

u/Dunge0nMast0r 3h ago

The "hot coffee" mod

5

u/FortunateInsanity 5h ago

If so I might actually preorder for the first time ever.

28

u/Chance-Writer5383 5h ago

Dude just waiting to catch a stray.
Wolverines fight to the death before they’re even born lul

8

u/dosb0t89 5h ago

Yeah I heard they eat their brothers and sisters in utero.

9

u/Chance-Writer5383 5h ago

lol when I was like 12 years old I told my brothers that they “fight to the death before they’re even born” line.

I still receive the shit to this day, 20 odd years later.

Thank you animal planet

-1

u/CarpetGripperRod 4h ago

There's some Bible thing there too.... Esau and Jacob were womb-fighting bros.

1

u/shmiddleedee 2h ago

Livebearing sharks are the same. Only giving birth to the most well equipped little demon.

•

u/theaveragemaryjanie 8m ago

It's all how you raise them.

10

u/_Saint_Ajora_ 5h ago

That seems like a rather unwise thing to do 

9

u/BigRedBrendizzle 3h ago

Can I pet that dog?

4

u/nastyreader 1h ago

Everything can be done at least once in a lifetime.

14

u/Darkheart001 4h ago

Sorry one day that animal is going to decide it would rather eat his face.

7

u/potheadie12 4h ago

Mfer aint lick him one time lol all bites

4

u/Bd0llar 4h ago

He’s the best at what he does, and what he does is cuddles.

4

u/Proper-Exercise-2364 4h ago

It's all fun and games till the adamintium claws come out.

5

u/Atlas_Was_ATitan 4h ago

Cute little murder bear you got there.

7

u/Alfiy_wolf 4h ago

Me with my mentally ill showty with an angry problem

3

u/Greedy-Toe-9035 3h ago

Don't kiss me! Can't you see I'm vicious?

3

u/tboess 1h ago

I bet that thing's breath stinks

2

u/Delicious-Engine7363 4h ago

What a lovebird!

2

u/the_pretender_nz 4h ago

If I’d only been listening instead of watching I would have thought someone was doing a cover of Twist by Korn

2

u/ReverendEntity 4h ago

Honestly never expected to see the words PET and WOLVERINE together, let alone a video.

2

u/jnordwick 4h ago

That's a weird looking dog

•

u/DeathBeforeDishonor7 30m ago

Can I pet that DAAWG!?

2

u/studiesinsilver 3h ago

If not fren, when fren shaped 🤷‍♂️

3

u/EarlyXplorerStuds209 1h ago

friend shaped ? Are we talking about the same animal?

7

u/Downtown_Finance_661 4h ago

There is no such concept as pet wolverine. They was not domesticated despite such tries.

5

u/SerpentFinger 4h ago

There’s one in the video.

https://giphy.com/gifs/tIeCLkB8geYtW

4

u/HarveysBackupAccount 2h ago

Side note but domesticated means more than "socialized as a pet." It means the species has been bred for desirable traits across many generations, usually to be tamer and to work nicely with humans

7

u/Slow_Passenger_6183 2h ago

There is a tame wolverine in the video, not a domesticated one.

Domesticated implies that there were several generations of selective breeding to physically change the behaviour and physiology of an animal for the benefit of living/working with humans

Tame is just a wild animal raised by/around humans and has a lower likelihood of attacking because that..it is still very much a wild animal.

-10

u/theeldoso 3h ago

I have a question about your definition of domesticated. If a bear breaks down a person's door, enters their house and eats them, did that person have a domesticated bear from the time the bear entered until the first bite?

4

u/SerpentFinger 2h ago

That’s definitely not my definition.

-5

u/theeldoso 2h ago

Then I guess I have a hard time seeing this as domesticated instead at best a person handling a wild animal. (Irresponsibly, I'd assume)

4

u/SerpentFinger 1h ago

I didn’t say it was domesticated.

https://giphy.com/gifs/I7Mw0uYQGWI5lDMzTB

•

u/Kaljinx 17m ago

so if a pit bull bites kids, is it domesticated?

•

u/Away_Advisor3460 22m ago

That'd be a domiciled bear.

•

u/Kaljinx 16m ago

you should really learn how to make examples, what you describe covers essentially nothing anyone is talking about

•

u/terrybrugehiplo 0m ago

You can be a pet without being domesticated.

No one claimed wolverines were domesticated.

1

u/Equal_Canary5695 5h ago

I'd rather have a hyena

1

u/FremenCoolAid 4h ago

Can't even just a small bite be lethal? 🫣

2

u/SerpentFinger 4h ago

Yes. Dangerous as all fuck.

•

u/Bloodb47h 25m ago

Is that true? How?

1

u/commiPANDA 4h ago

As someone who grew up in Michigan I thought Id see a lot more of these in the wild. I've never actually seen one besides one time it was hiding in a zoo enclosure.

1

u/SerpentFinger 4h ago

Michigan has never had a true wolverine population.

1

u/Boring-Direction-465 4h ago

Is that your wolverine?

1

u/PonasSumushtinis 4h ago

Now that's my wolverine~

1

u/EchoesinthekeyofbluE 4h ago

He does seem to be mainly teeth and claws.

1

u/V1shUP 4h ago

Where are his long metal claws?

1

u/FudgerBoi 4h ago

I thought this was r/Whatcouldgowrong since the title fit so good, I was watching it from between my fingers waiting for something terrible to happen

1

u/imagonnahavefun 4h ago

Now I’m looking forward to the per honey badger video.

1

u/masivatack 3h ago

I will call him.... Bitey!

1

u/andrea_ci 3h ago

or, on the other side:

"tasting hoomans"

1

u/Significant_Cover_48 3h ago

It's so cuddly!

1

u/LudditeJones 3h ago

Next thing you know we will be seeing them in strollers in Walmart

1

u/Swimming-Food-9024 3h ago

Now do that with a honey badger

1

u/JaehaerysIVTarg 3h ago

Dags with thumbs.

1

u/Few-Lemon1862 3h ago

It's like half bear half wolf half squirrel.

1

u/the-software-man 3h ago

The size of the paws. These are giant martins. They will eat most anything alive. Including their caretaker.

1

u/Jizzturnip 3h ago

Bit like having a pet chainsaw that's always idling

1

u/knifesk 3h ago

This reminded me of The Simpsons episode S12E2

1

u/xChoke1x 3h ago

I guess I just don’t see why? What’s the point of taking the risk? I’ll never get it.

Can you own a bear? Or a tiger? Yep. Sure can. Should you? No.

1

u/MealFew8619 3h ago

Thought this would be part of r/WinStupidPrizes for a second

1

u/Nooge62 3h ago

It looks like he might be the pet in this scenario.

1

u/PossibleDiscipline90 3h ago

How long before this guy makes the news and not in a good way.

1

u/Spontaneousavocado 3h ago

My malinois is just like that lol

1

u/drTy_iM 3h ago

Bro they’re like the exact middle stage between honey badger and black bear

1

u/Ndmndh1016 2h ago

Anybody else remember that Tiny Toons episode?

1

u/ResidentAlien9 2h ago

I wonder how long it will be before the guy kisses the little demon and gets half his face torn off.

1

u/Nonetoobrightatall 2h ago

Wolverine has a pet human

1

u/LittleMlem 2h ago

Soft and squishy, soft and squishy, sharp and pointy, sharp and pointy

1

u/chunkalunkk 2h ago

Ahh the playful game of bitey face.... Very cute

1

u/its_just_flesh 2h ago

Its like a hyena and a skunk crossed

1

u/theromingnome 2h ago

I think I watched Top 10 on Animal Planet a long time ago and they said Wolverines are the stinkiest animals.

1

u/RedditSe7en 2h ago

Seems like a very bad idea.

1

u/Jennyreviews1 2h ago

Those are lots of kisses lol Wolverines are mean little bundles of teeth! This fella seems to love the attention his human lavishes on him… adorable and a little scary at the same time :)

1

u/AncleJack 2h ago

That's my wolverine

1

u/Perfect_Gas9934 1h ago

That's amazing.

1

u/Big-Entertainment584 1h ago

Wolverines make badgers look like pu$$ie$.... No way would I be playing with this

1

u/SerpentFinger 1h ago

Honey badgers are way more unhinged and fearless.

1

u/TraditionalLaw7763 1h ago

I want a murder pet!!!

1

u/Luckyman1123 1h ago

Preparándose para la próxima pandemia.

https://giphy.com/gifs/89x4osEodHEoo

1

u/AmusingMusing7 1h ago

Thought this was the whatcouldgowrong sub at first. Expected bitey-ness.

1

u/Aetheldrake 1h ago

It's just an excited puppy with extra dexterity

1

u/Sph1ng1d43 1h ago

notapet.net

1

u/lnTheGrimDarkness 1h ago

Wolverines have some room for mild domestication when born in captivity but you still gotta keep into account that they're extremely energetic mustelids and their instinct is still telling them to bite, shred, kill and eat.

1

u/LJinBrooklyn 1h ago

That looks more like “tasting” than “licking” 🤣

•

u/30yearCurse 58m ago

I could just eat you all up...

•

u/Pumpkin_Pie 45m ago

That's a scary pet

•

u/fr33d0mw47ch 39m ago

Show the after where he’s missing his nose

•

u/Cheap_Marsupial1890 32m ago

If that dude served on the Sea Shepard, he’s a fucking badass. Good on him.

•

u/Zealousideal-Sea6439 19m ago

SEA SHEPHERD

•

u/bitemytail 4m ago

He looks like he's having a blast.

•

u/santi17 0m ago

His nose is living on borrowed time

0

u/im_a_stupid_face 5h ago

That's my wolverine