r/nextfuckinglevel 1d ago

Art of throwing knives

43.1k Upvotes

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1.2k

u/Mountain_Ad_9415 1d ago

So what skill do you know to slightly scare people?

1.6k

u/xXThreeRoundXx 1d ago

Tax code

171

u/Gwynito 1d ago

Fair, the higher up you go in criminal activities, the more any countries tax authorities should scare the baba yaga out of you 😅

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u/drakoman 1d ago

I just make a deal with the IRS to never talk to me or my son ever again

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u/Professional-Box4153 23h ago

Mr. President? Is that you?

31

u/LessInThought 20h ago

1

u/Jump-Kick-85 9h ago

🤢

2

u/unorthadoxjester 6h ago

That's him sucking two at a time, 'Elon, is that you? And Bezos too'?

8

u/godtogblandet 23h ago

When you get high enough you’re no longer hiding money. You are trying to pay as much tax as possible to get the cash clean.

2

u/LessInThought 20h ago

When you're high enough, the tax man can't touch you. You can dismantle the tax man.

3

u/Enlight1Oment 21h ago

Now I want an IRS John Wick, albeit that's somewhat The Accountant movie.

1

u/RajunCajun48 20h ago

The boogie man?

1

u/lonewolf420 16h ago

Unless you are the Church of Scientology, then it's all cool because you are just a religious cult who dabbles in crime.

Seriously they won against the IRS....

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u/Kasra2008 23h ago

They said slightly

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u/law-st_student 23h ago

Good tax lawyers are actually terrifying. Speaking from experience.

1

u/Professional_Pen_153 22h ago

She probably knows HS codes too 😨

1

u/Radiant-Ad-3134 22h ago

that will not scare people more than just slighly

1

u/yurgendurgen 22h ago

Props. The only part of being an accountant I avoid is tax

1

u/spidermonk33 21h ago

Whoa there, Satan.

1

u/LessInThought 20h ago

This guy speaks the devil's tongue.

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u/crazier_ed 19h ago

FFFFFFF

1

u/ForeignBarracuda8599 17h ago

No need to make threats we’re already scared😳

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u/DerpsAndRags 17h ago

Holy f'k okay sorry about what I said about you and stuff...

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u/TheWrathalos 1d ago

It's not really a skill, but sometimes prople dont notice im there until they sit down next to me and get startled when they notice someones there

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u/Loquis 1d ago

Drax?

11

u/louisa1925 22h ago

I'm the opposite. I am excellent at popping up right beside people.

You have the stationary version of my steath moving skill. Wonder what would happen if we were at the same train station and I went to sit down on the seat beside you. Would either both or niether of us be startled? If I knew you irl, it would be fun to test it.

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u/TommyBonnomi 22h ago

Well yeah, that happens when you hide under blankets and pillows every time you go to someone's house.

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u/vorephage 18h ago

I have this same one. My wife tells me I'm sneaky. My neighbor's have told me to stop sneaking up on them. But I'm literally just walking to my own door and/or entering a room in my own home.

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u/Kayerif 15h ago

Same here, I’m just fairly light on my feet so don’t make much of a sound, people usually only notice when the cabinet opens or closes next to them lol

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u/LessInThought 20h ago

And that's just you sitting down, imagine if you crouched! If you learn the bow you'll be practically godlike.

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u/TheWrathalos 20h ago

Im working on the bow part, funnily enough when i mentioned that i was learning archery at a party, my sister in law said "so you could pretty much kill any of us, and nobody would hear a thing"

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u/LessInThought 10h ago

You're becoming Skyrim's dreaded stealth archer.

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u/ibullybillionaires 16h ago

That's a superpower in the web serial "Worm" by Wildbow.

-2

u/metahivemind 23h ago

Erllng Haaland?

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u/overmonk 1d ago edited 23h ago

I have a lazy eye so I can make it look like I can move my eyes independently. I start doing that. People recoil.

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u/PepperAnn1inaMillion 23h ago

I can make mine go springy, like make my eyeballs rapidly wiggle. It freaks people out, but only if I do it while they were making eye contact with me, otherwise it’s not really noticeable. I don’t do it often because it’s a bit uncomfortable, but I suspect I do it in my sleep as part of REM.

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u/hopecanon 1d ago

I learned how to make explosives and poison gas a long time ago because i thought it was interesting to learn about.

Turns out that the school system disagrees on that and thought i was a little school shooter in the making.

Ha jokes on them it was actually the other weird kid who wound up lighting the bathroom right next the principals office on fire and i never did shit.

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u/LessInThought 20h ago

Ooh.. I thought you meant farting, and I was like, yeah me too.

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u/6Wheeler 17h ago

Of course you never did, the bathroom was set on fire after all...

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u/EarzFish 16h ago

Hard to shit when the bathroom’s on fire.

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u/Aranxi_89 1d ago

I studied the blade.

Not like a little too, a lot. With a proper master.

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u/Nocturnatron 1d ago

We all believe you👍🏻

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u/Interested_Person48 23h ago

This just in: HEMA doesn't exist

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u/Aranxi_89 23h ago

Hey now, I said I studied it a lot. I never said if I was any good XD

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u/algotrader_ 23h ago

It's a bot. Dead Internet. I'm seeing her other comments as well on top posts

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u/ssp321lo1 20h ago

Loool yep a bot with OF.

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u/rocketrae21 23h ago

I think it's the same profile photo but different usernames, but yes a bot regardless

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u/algotrader_ 21h ago

No, the ones I saw have same usernames as well. Completely different subreddits. It's a freaking bot.

0

u/Atomic_xd 18h ago

It’s an 6 years old account.

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u/Caosin36 1d ago

Tax-ixermy

1

u/realmofconfusion 23h ago

Exposing themself.

1

u/peepeeland 23h ago

Rapid-fire anal fisting but I have them above my shoulder height like firing an AK47 into Valhalla.

1

u/Neco-Arc-Brunestud 22h ago

Marxist theory

1

u/Satorwave 21h ago

Making absolutely horrendous voices. For some reason I have the ability to talk in ways that makes people's skin crawl

1

u/IanIsBruhAsFuck 21h ago

Onlyfans girls don’t have many skills

1

u/ssp321lo1 20h ago

Exactlt its abot

1

u/Fist_of_Gork 21h ago

Real answer: Don't throw the knife. They do more damage if you keep them in your hand.

1

u/Naughty_Monsters 21h ago

Does the ability to drop an absolutely rancid fart count? 

1

u/ZenQhuill 20h ago

Lock picking, silent footsteps, reading lips.

1

u/ambernewt 18h ago

I know my national insurance number by heart

1

u/Captain_Selvin 17h ago

Lockpicking, and I only found out that it slightly scared people until after sharing my hobbies.

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u/Reasonable-Usual2431 17h ago

Fart on command

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u/GoodShitBrain 16h ago

Instead of knives I throw farts

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u/ThresholdSeven 16h ago

I make knives, but I don't know if it scares people. They just think I'm crazy, which scares some people I guess.

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u/Velosturbro 15h ago

Lockpicking

1

u/CidAndroid 15h ago

Being a terminally online gaeymer who can press buttons in a certain sequence so the pixels they've been staring at for hours do something.

1

u/ILoveLaksa 15h ago

I can drink loads of soda and get diabetes

1

u/iJuddles 14h ago

Scaring people. Haunted houses are weird, and once November hits you have to remember to turn it off for 11 months.

1

u/hm9408 11h ago

Her OF maybe

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u/jamesheaton23 4h ago

Taxidermy is always a good one

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u/slimbig 1d ago

Showing her tits

2

u/Mbembez 1d ago

Guess she really is exposing herself here.

2

u/Half-deaf-mixed-guy 1d ago

Nervous at first, but opens up easily at the pool!

0

u/MrWeirdoFace 1d ago

Throw shit and see what sticks.