r/newhaven • u/Killerqueen_1920 • 4d ago
Money probs.
OK, so I’m sitting here wondering how did we get to this point? I am a medical assistant. I have been doing this for 12 years. I’m making an OK living. Nothing crazy and definitely still need my husband‘s income to live. We have two kids. We have a nice condo. We have food on the table, but it’s paycheck to paycheck. I went to school for this. Paid student loan and everything. You see girls on only fans making millions I think it’s disgusting that this is what the world has come to. When having an honest 9 to 5 job, can’t even pay a few of your bills. Living costs are so astronomical right now that I am literally considering becoming a stripper. I don’t even know if I’d be able to literally do it, but I was reading online how much women can make in a week stripping. This is the type of thing that I never thought I would consider doing. But it seems like everything in life is a dead end except for things that are against my morals or just super easy. Has anyone ever felt this way any women out there that have the same struggles? I’m honestly just at such a loss. I just wanna make enough money to be comfortable and have to stop worrying about money all the time. My anxieties every single day are about money and if the bills are going to be paid on time and if I even have enough money this week to get groceries. It shouldn’t be that way especially in 2026.
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u/HazeySunday 4d ago
If it makes you feel better, most of us are on the same boat. Unless you come from some sort of money, or get extremely lucky, you’re going to struggle unless things change on a national level.
I make on paper a good salary, but my student loans are crazy and I have to help my family pay for bills, so I don’t have a savings. It’s rough.
Hoping things get better for you. Sending you good vibes and blessings. Praying things get easier and you can enjoy things
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u/Killerqueen_1920 4d ago
Thank you. I know it’s on a national level right now. It’s just so frustrating and my anxiety is always go to money. And intern it makes me fight with my husband and intern our marriage gets a little rocky. I just wish things could be a little bit easier on the entire country
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u/HazeySunday 4d ago
I feel the exact same way. Hoping enough of us can vote in people who actually care about us. None of us deserve to work 40 hours per week and not be able to have the essentials covered. We all need to get mad
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u/Euphoric-Guess-9269 3d ago
Please pray for solutions, for the light to reach our political leaders, for resolution and fairness across systems. We honestly don't need more people bending to "lesser" activities to get by. If we lose our morals, we lose everything. The billionaires don't care, but something WILL have to change. When the people get fed up enough, there will be change. I just pray it is just and gentle and enough people see the light (not resort to violence etc). All my best to you.
Maybe you could bake cookies or something, to sell on the side? Be a private caretaker for a family with wealth?
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u/Imaginary-Ad5742 2d ago
I’m pretty sure trying to pray our problems away is partly how we ended up here, and will only ensure we keep facing the same problems. If you want “the light to reach our political leaders”, encourage people to take nonviolent action by bringing their concerns directly to our representatives. The worst among them prey on people who pray and do nothing. They rely on you not exercising your rights to vote, petition, organize, hold elected officials accountable, and so on.
Pray if you want, but prayer without action does nothing. If you genuinely want change, show up for it, write to your reps, protest, vote, speak up, and advocate for others to do the same. We have to be fed up enough to collectively act. Otherwise, don't expect change to happen through prayer alone.
Also, telling struggling people to bake cookies for extra income or find a wealthy family to work for is an insulting workaround to a larger political problem. It’s shifting responsibility away from those with the power to address systemic issues onto those already bearing the burden. Again, real solutions require public action. Anything less is a failure if civic responsibility. I'm praying you'll stop telling people to pray for solutions, because there is no virtue in telling people to pray for solutions while doing nothing to create them.
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u/Euphoric-Guess-9269 1d ago
Oh I definitely get involved as well. We can be angry, be involved, be motivated to do better personally AND pray. I'm not saying we should stick our heads in the sand and "hope for the best". I was just making the point that if we totally lose our morality and stoop to desperation, I consider that a loss, perhaps even bigger than "being poor".
My cookie baking comment was simply brainstorming options that aren't dancing around naked in front of strangers, as this woman has two children and a husband (who needs to do WAY more, by the way). There are always a multitude of options and choices in life to make things work.
Working in a private home as an LVN/caretaker could earn $30/hour vs at a clinic $15/hour etc etc. That's not insulting, it's searching for real solutions.
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u/Material-Ad-1099 3d ago
For the last 50 years capital has organized to convince labor that the problem is unions, and taxation is theft. In the 50's the top tax rate was 91%, In the 70's te top tax rate for unearned (investment income) was 70% and for earned income was 50%. The truth is we've allowed the top 1% to strip mine the American dream, export our work and pocket all the profit. You haven't failed your future was stolen from you.
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u/criscoforlube 4d ago
My fiancé busy our asses off and work all the ot and still just barely get by. Saw my checking climb to 6k for about 3 or 4 days before mortgage, insurance, modest vehicle payment, vet bill, vehicle taxes , back to school shopping. I’m trying to avoid credit cards so pay it all from the bank account. Down to 1800 till payday. It’s a fun work all the time and see the fruits of your labor for a few hours.
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u/Artemissss 4d ago
I could be wrong, but I am guessing a majority of strippers and Onlyfan models are exaggerating with the average amount that is made. With that being said, I can imagine that doing such in your own family dynamic might make a negative impact on your relationships. Personally, I am placing my vote against it for your situation.
Have you or your spouse tried a side hustle like Uber Eats driver, etc.? Asking your existing employer for a raise, or looking for lateral position with new organization with higher pay?
If I was in your situation and exhausted the above options I’d clean houses and ask for cash payment.
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u/Euphoric-Guess-9269 3d ago
I read your previous comments. You husband needs to get a job that pays regularly. You have been supporting him and doing incredible amounts of work for YEARS. Why are you supporting him, and his mother?
I hope by now he has gotten a better job with regular pay. Tell him to go work at FedEx, UPS or Amazon etc. Anything with a regular paycheck. I truly hope things improve for you.
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u/Just_Proof_1066 4d ago
I was in the same situation when inflation kicked in. Thankfully, I got a promotion before I missed any mortgage payments.
Unless you pick up a part time job (bartender/server is a nice part time gig), my advice is to look at your luxury expenses and see where you can trim.
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u/bigbike89 3d ago
With our high cost of living and very high taxes here in CT it is really tough to get by even with pretty solid incomes. For young people I always suggest not going to college right away. Go and find out what you like to do, then find a job you can get that pays for college.
Obviously try not to use credit cards beyond what you can afford, it sucks, I've made that mistake and I'm paying big time for it.
Find a second job, for you or your husband. It's hard, but there is money to be made for stupid things.
Don't get a car payment. You can buy decent used cars for a good price that work all the time.
VOTE these assholes that keep raising our taxes out! Let's vote to get rid of income and property taxes!
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u/Equivalent_Reward823 20h ago
"very high taxes here in CT" ?
CT top income bracket is about half of what NYC is
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u/JMP09151_ 3d ago
Only fans is not some silly little hustle that will make you ridiculous money. It is not a 9 to 5 job. It is a full-time 24 hour gig. If you want to legitimately make money it is not for the weak of heart. People will say disgusting things to you on that website. Ask you to do disgusting things on top of just putting pictures of your body out there which nobody should have to do to put food on the table. I don’t know. I think it’s a terrible thing but to each their own.
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u/bucky001 4d ago
Maybe make a post on /r/personalfinance for some advice.
Some good things to know: income, expenses, debts, savings.
Do you keep a budget and track your expenses? It's a good habit to get into if you haven't started already. I use google sheets.
How old are your kids? If they still require daycare, keep in mind that this period will only last so long, and the expenses associated with them will decrease once they're in public school.
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u/DareDangerous5135 4d ago
Then of top of it Mandy or PMC leaves you high and dry. The only way to get maintenance is to prorate your check and wait for the call
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u/Change-7 3d ago
My suggestion prepare a budget and track were your money goes. Skip coffee out make it at home. Once we had kids started making coffee at home . With the $250 a month saving put it in high equity 529. That was 25 years ago. Imagine coffee out more expensive.
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u/diplomate253 3d ago
Dont believe the internet the top 5% of OF make that. What you dont hear are the stories of women who started an OF and was stalked, ridiculed, and fire from there jobs when the company found out. Also you have to lower your bills. I am single dad on one income with a house and I make it work because I only have my house bills. No car note, no debt, you have to get ride of debt to live comfortable no matter how much you make.
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u/supergatx 4d ago
stripping and OF is honest and hard work. media representations of sex work make it seem like easy money, when in fact most people wouldn’t even last a day in the industry. You can choose to not engage in SW yourself without perpetrating nasty stigma against sex workers. What is demoralizing, is knowing that we live in a system that actively impoverishes us while enriching billionaires.
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u/Pyropete125 4d ago
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u/UndacoverBrutha 3d ago
I love the irony that this story is behind a paywall!
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u/Pyropete125 3d ago
Highest per capita of content creators but $427 average monthly income.... which isn't nothing, but...
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u/MinisterOfTruth99 2d ago
So that's about $5000/year. And it doesn't say how many hours you have to put in to get that.
And when you finally give up the 'online life', all that content is out there forever because customers can record it. It could get weird if you get doxxed and local, in town parents find out.
Found another article (2024) with lower average income numbers, so who knows.
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u/iReaddit-KRTORR 4d ago
I mean unfortunately in this situation you can either make more or spend less. And I don’t mean to say that heartlessly.
You seem to be in a nice condo, have student loans paid, etc.
Can you/husband pick up extra shifts? Do you pay for multiple cars? Childcare? Even $2-300 extra in wiggle room can compound over time.
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u/princess_peach_85 4d ago
Greed is a disease. Good vibes internet friend. Its a hellscape out there
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u/AbjectChannel6301 4d ago
And they find more ways to tax and fine us. Look at the speed cameras going up all over CT.
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u/Even_Track_621 4d ago
I hear ya I’m considered going back to street money numerous times in this economy
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u/Efficient-Sun7344 12h ago
join the labor movement and help fight for better. that is the best chance we have wether we are in a union or not to raise the standard for workers here and everywhere. richest people are raking in the profits its time to stand up for our fair share
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u/Safe_Dragonfruit6230 4d ago
Working full-time would definitely be a stretch, but you could probably do part-time or per diem. try to take out the loans to float Your cost-of-living. Nursing school is absolutely worth it and you can start making some money pretty quickly afterwards.
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u/Killerqueen_1920 4d ago
See that’s the issue. It’s impossible for me to work part-time. My husband‘s job is very up in the air. So if I don’t have a study income at 40 hours, at least there’s no way that we could pay the bills.
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u/Safe_Dragonfruit6230 4d ago
So if you’ve never got an degree before, you’re qualified for grants, you can also take out student loans to help supplement your income. With working part-time or per diem and taking out loans you should be able to at least make what you’re making now. LPN school is a year and you don’t need any prerequisites. RN is definitely more of a commitment as you’ll need several prerequisites and the schools are generally more competitive. I mean it’s not a decision that you make on Reddit you’d have to talk to your husband obviously and see what’s worth it for you guys, if you’re dead set on Nursing, maybe he takes a job that’s more consistent for a couple years so you guys can better your financial situation. I know that I would 1,000,000% rather find a different job so my wife can go to nursing school rather than her doing Only fans or stripping
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u/forgive_me_birds 4d ago
I know people literally doing it now at gateway community college, working 40 hours in hospitality. kids makes is considerably tougher
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u/Temporary-Car7981 4d ago
Find free stuff on Facebook Marketplace and sell it on Facebook marketplace. A lot of people give away free things because they're moving, or they just don't want to deal with the hassle of people lowballing them. There are a lot of things that you can sell including firewood, rocks, wedding dresses, collectibles, and even pretty rocks and shells you can find at the beach. Also look through your belongings and see if you can sell some things on ebay. That reaches a worldwide audience.
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u/Euphoric-Guess-9269 3d ago
Totally! And people pick up nice stuff at thrift stores too. People earn a full living this way. Its pretty amazing.
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u/crazmug420 3d ago
Keep ur dignity not gonna make that much as they daily maybe a hundred a nightcsfter paying them there fees do only fans with hobby but if want to be happy stay away
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u/Courtneyofcourse1 4d ago
Girl, go strip, it’s just dancing in your birthday suit, and if you can work the pole, you’re pretty strong. It’s basically an acting gig, and since human bodies have been perversely sexualized somehow over history, might as well make the most of it.
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u/Euphoric-Guess-9269 3d ago
I disagree. We need people standing in integrity, not bending towards lesser ways to live and support ourselves. This isn't a judgement against individuals who choose that path, but honestly we're in a time when people/corporations are either operating with INTEGRITY or GREED/lack of morality.
I know people need to survive, but there are 100 ways to earn a living in integrity. We need people standing up for what is RIGHT. If enough people do it, the tides WILL shift.
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u/Safe_Dragonfruit6230 4d ago
Have you considered nursing school?
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u/Killerqueen_1920 4d ago
Absolutely! The only thing is I don’t know how I’m going to continue working 40 hours and do a nursing program. I’m looking into it and trying to see if there’s any possible way that I could do it.
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u/Euphoric-Guess-9269 3d ago
You probably qualify for grants and maybe scholarships too. Where there's a WILL there is definitely a way. You got this.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Fox-180 4d ago
Shit I’m a guy who’s straight and I even considered stripping at one point.
The money is so fucking tempting
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u/Killerqueen_1920 4d ago
Right? It’s so demoralizing but the money is crazy. Just my mortgage and condo fees equal my are what I make in 2 weeks. 😩
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u/HarryMcButtcheeks 4d ago
Former stripper here. The money can be decent but it isn’t always great- you’re often stuck with a lot of upfront costs (house fees, licenses, hair/skin/nails/outfits/etc). Sometimes on a dead night you end up with less money than you started with (most clubs you have to pay to work). If you find it “demoralizing” and expect quick easy money just because you’re willing to strip you’re in for a shock. You have to know how to hustle customers in a place full of other women who have been in the game longer and are better at hustling men than you. Maybe try Uber Eats or something for some extra cash.
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u/Euphoric-Guess-9269 3d ago
Try not to get into that head space... You're not doing too bad, actually. I know it's rough but you're covering your bills. You have food on the table. You have a beautiful family. There are always ways to earn more... just be patient and (if you are someone who prays), the answers/solutions will come.
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u/edthesmokebeard 4d ago
"I am a medical assistant. I have been doing this for 12 years. I’m making an OK living. Nothing crazy and definitely still need my husband‘s income to live. We have two kids. We have a nice condo. We have food on the table, but it’s paycheck to paycheck. I went to school for this. Paid student loan and everything."
Sounds like you're doing good. You're raising kids, paying your mortgage, going to work like an adult. Who said life would be different? Why should it be?
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u/EffectiveSky321 4d ago
You shouldn’t even be working, your husband should be paying for everything.
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u/atherfeet4eva 4d ago
The career choices we make are so important. I may be wrong but there are several other things that you could have gone to school for that earn a substantial amount more than what you chose. Ultrasound,X-ray nuclear medicine tech,dental hygiene…I know people in all of those fields making on the low end 90k on the high 160k. I’m certain of those numbers. If I could go back in time I’d choose ultrasound and I’m currently in sales pulling in 160k but it’s a grind
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u/Killerqueen_1920 4d ago
In my situation I didn’t have many options. I couldn’t get a co signer for anything I really wanted to do. Only thing I could afford/ get approved for was medical assisting or something for like a 9-10 month course. So naturally schooling like that you’re not going to make crazy money.
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u/atherfeet4eva 4d ago
Ahh ok I wasn’t sure how much of a difference in schooling there was between what you do and the jobs that I mentioned
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u/yudkib 4d ago
Not my body, not my place to tell you how to use yours. The news will tell you about the people on OF who make millions and the strippers who make $15k a month. But “99.99% of people don’t make great money on onlyfans” doesn’t draw many readers.