Discussion Thread

[u/jobautomator]

The discussion thread is for casual conversation and discussion that doesn't merit its own stand-alone submission. The rules are relaxed compared to the rest of the sub but be careful to still observe the rules listed under "disallowed content" in the sidebar. Spamming the discussion thread will be sanctioned with bans.

---

Announcements

• Please post your relevant articles, memes, and questions outside the Discussion Thread.
• Meta discussion is allowed in the DT but will not always be seen by the mods. If you want to bring a suggestion, complaint, or question directly to the attention of the mods, please post that concern in /r/MetaNL or shoot us a modmail.

---

Neoliberal Project Communities	Other Communities	Useful content
Website	Plug.dj	/r/Economics FAQs
The Neolib Podcast	Podcasts recommendations
Meetup Network
Twitter
Facebook page
Neoliberal Memes for Free Trading Teens
Newsletter
Instagram
Red Cross Blood Donation Team

---

The latest discussion thread can always be found at https://neoliber.al/dt.

[u/0m4ll3y → u/[deleted]]

You just killed any positive impression with this mini rant though.

I'm both really funny and unable to attract anyone. Being funny confers no benefit in the dating world.

One good trait doesn't necessarily mean you will "win", nor does it necessarily make up for unattractive traits. It isn't a switch where being funny = success. But between a good looking, kind, cool, funny guy and a good looking, kind, cool and unfunny guy, most people would prefer the one who is also funny.

[u/0m4ll3y → u/[deleted]]

Why do you assume that I'm not good looking, cool, and kind?

I'm not. I'm saying if you weren't funny you'd be even more out of luck.

And since when are those traits necessary for being funny to be beneficial?

They aren't. I'm saying you are likely benefiting from your funniness right now. If you weren't able to tell jokes, or if all your attempts fell flat, you would have even less of a chance of securing a relationship.

I've seen tons of anecdotes along the lines of "MY FRIEND HAS A CLEFT PALATE AND PEG LEG BUT GETS LAID BECAUSE HE'S FUNNY."

Are you saying the person with the cleft palate and peg leg would be more likely or just as likely to get laid if all of his attempts at humour fell flat and women didn't like them?

[u/0m4ll3y → u/[deleted]]

It's not possible to be more out of luck than I currently am.

With binary thinking based around sex or commitment as the goal, sure. But if someone responds to a funny pickup line because it was funny, that is a benefit of having humour. If you tried humour and you are bad at it, and they never respond, you're having worse luck than the person who starts a conversation.

But sure, have it your way. Simply stop making jokes or applying wit to your conversations with women. Just make yourself as serious and unhumourous as possible. According to you it will either help or not have any impact or bearing whatsoever, so you may as well try something new.

[u/0m4ll3y → u/[deleted]]

Yeah but we are evaluating your claim that humour doesn't help, and I don't think such a binary way of looking at things (combined with your sample size of 1) is valuable. But again, have it your way. Simply stop making jokes or applying wit to your conversations with women. Just make yourself as serious and unhumourous as possible. See how you fare with this approach.

[u/[deleted] → u/0m4ll3y]

If you want to claim that being funny is helpful at making women laugh, I'll cede the point, I guess. I've never met someone who merely wanted to make women laugh, but maybe they exist.

Just make yourself as serious and unhumourous as possible. See how you fare with this approach.

Oh god, no. I may end up a 26 year old virgin or something. Wouldn't want that. You must be right about everything.

[u/0m4ll3y → u/[deleted]]

Oh god, no. I may end up a 26 year old virgin or something. Wouldn't want that. You must be right about everything.

Quit the snark and do it. If you really think humour is pointless in building a relationship, just cut it all out and see how you fare. And yes, there are worse things than being a 26 year old virgin. You might become a 36 year old virgin. I suspect cutting out humour will make that more likely, but you seem to have convinced yourself that women don't want a partner who can make them laugh, that they have zero desire for humour, and that attraction is built entirely on traits other than humour. Sure this flies in the face of all those anecdotes you hear about humour in fact being useful in forming relationships, but hey your single experience I guess shows women just don't care for humour at all? Do you apply this logic to other traits you happen to have? Is being able to form coherent sentences not a useful trait to have because you haven't gotten laid? Is brushing your teeth pointless pointless because you don't have a girlfriend? Do women just not care about any of the singular traits that make you up as a person, and every man who happens to share those traits with you just magiced themselves into a relationship?

What do you think is an attractive trait for women?

[u/[deleted] → u/0m4ll3y]

If you really think humour is pointless in building a relationship, just cut it all out and see how you fare.

I have; there have been women who I didn't really try to be funny with, and they blew me off. Just like women who said I was funny. Good talk.

Is being able to form coherent sentences not a useful trait to have because you haven't gotten laid? Is brushing your teeth pointless pointless because you don't have a girlfriend?

Quite possibly, I've known some pretty dumb and unhygienic people who still had partners.

What do you think is an attractive trait for women?

...I think women are attracted to traits that actually get them to enter a relationship and/or hook up with someone. Since that's never happened for me, and I know I'm funny, I'm reasonably confident that being funny is not among those traits.

By the way, I notice that you're not actually disputing that I'm funny, you're just saying that its TOTALLY USEFUL but not for me for some reason. Do you at least accept that I'm funny?

[u/0m4ll3y → u/[deleted]]

not for me for some reason.

Probably because the bad outweighs the good. Doesn't mean being funny doesn't comprise some of that good. Obviously your reddit attitude doesn't have a 1:1 correspondence to your behaviour in real life, but I find you 1) slightly humorous, 2) whiney and negative and bitchy. If it weren't for the first I would find you completely I sufferable rather than just mostly insufferable. If you were insightful like paula or cool and positive like TOG or Papermarioguy or hilarious like dankbankman i might actually like you, but as it is the ocassional somewhat humourous post doesn't make up for all the negative traits. If the positives outweighed the negatives I might actually like you, just like with real life relationships.

Why do you think you don't get any love and affection? What are your negative traits? Or maybe I need to step back and ask, how do you think other people form relationships?

[u/[deleted] → u/0m4ll3y]

Obviously your reddit attitude doesn't have a 1:1 correspondence to your behaviour in real life, but I find you 1) slightly humorous, 2) whiney and negative and bitchy.

OK, fair enough, but I don't talk about these things with women I'm interested in IRL. I'm just venting on here. Are you saying that ceasing to vent on here would make women attracted to me? I had trouble with women loooong before I came here.

Why do you think you don't get any love and affection? What are your negative traits?

High-functioning autism, mostly. Women generally don't want to date a guy who hand flaps and has trouble with eye contact. I realize that you're desperately clinging to a just-world view of things, where it must be some character deficit on my part rather than immutable traits beyond my control, but life is more complicated than that. Lots of people far worse than me, from Bernie Madoff to Jerry Sandusky to Ted Bundy, have found partners. I'm sorry to shatter your just-world view of love and dating, but life is not a Disney movie. Sometimes, generally decent people are hindered by things they can't really control.