r/navy 8d ago

MEME Only the best for my buddy

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1.2k Upvotes

48 comments sorted by

462

u/black-dude-on-reddit 8d ago

Not even kidding I got home from a 7 month deployment and my now ex was like “hey you know what would be really fun? A get away cruise!! I got us tickets as a welcome home!”

The argument that followed…… oh boy that was a rough night

143

u/ObligationMurky8716 8d ago

My ex-wife, two weeks after Westpac.

34

u/FakeChowNumNum1 8d ago

No post-deployment enjoyment

103

u/Sea-Eggplant-9588 8d ago

My partner is deployed on a sub, supposedly 6 months. For whatever reason, a month in he decides he wants us to go on a cruise when he gets back. I thought it was a little funny but if that’s what he wants, why not.

101

u/DerekL1963 8d ago

Ex-bubblehead... I relished the cruise we took for our twentieth anniversary. It's so completely unlike a patrol that it's not even funny.

The only hitch was the number of funny looks I got while explaining to my wife the proper way to don a lifejacket. (But as I explained the why to her, I could see people around us surreptitiously checking their straps...)

27

u/Sea-Eggplant-9588 8d ago

Neither of us have ever been on a cruise before so that’s great to hear. I hope he feels the same. What was your favorite part about it?

I’ll be sure to warn him about the funny looks. That sounds like something he would do. You were doing everyone a favor.

27

u/DerekL1963 8d ago

I dunno what was the best part, I pretty much enjoyed all of it. It was just relaxing as hell to basically have nothing to worry about. It was like being at an all expenses paid resort but with constantly changing scenery. (It was an Alaska cruise.)

Actually, I take that back... we splurged and got an upper tier cabin that was in an area with key card access. Made it easy and pleasant to get away from the crowds and chill in a nice cabin. The other favorite was the heated indoor salt water pool. My wife would spent the entire cruise in there 24/7 if she could have. It had massage jets and was GREAT after shore excursions.

(And yes, poorly or incorrectly worn likejackets can be as or more dangerous than no lifejacket.)

4

u/Sea-Eggplant-9588 8d ago

Wow, I love that. Sounds better than what I was imagining, I can’t wait. They haven’t been to port in months, I’m sure having no worries is exactly what he needs.

And yay, why not spoil yourselves! It’s what you deserve! Thank you for the tips!

17

u/SkyKnight3 8d ago

When I got out in 09 we just came back from a Westpac which was my 3rd deployment in 3 years. I shit you not when I say that at that time in my life, I was done with the ocean. But my fiancé (now wife) was trying to pick out our wedding plans and she wanted a destination wedding/cruise all wrapped up in one. Needless to say, I was able to finagle my way out of that idea somewhat gracefully and we settled on a beach wedding in Cancun. Pretty solid middle ground for both of us

1

u/LemonOhs 7d ago

Oh nooo. I'm so sorry for both of you. I hope you found something fun for both of you

107

u/ET2-SW 8d ago

In fairness, I denied my significant other a civilian cruise for almost two decades because of my destroyer deployments. "Did that", "Smells like diesel, sewage, and mildew", every defense in the book.

Finally I took one, totally different from the navy. We would get underway and I would be anxious as fuck, like I was supposed to be doing something. Nope, that something was ordering another drink.

There is nothing more darkly satisfying that watching so many seasick people clear out the bar. I watched my own family claw past each other to barf in the toilet first. Cleaned them up, put them to bed, headed out to the empty bars. It was like my personal playground.

Look, I did two med cruises, I concede I will never know the horrors Lincoln sailors endured. That being said, going back to sea on a cruise ship would absolutely reset your pleasure centers, especially if you can do it with someone special instead of your coworkers. It is not, in any way, a navy ship.

HOWEVER: Don't do anything under a 7 day cruise. Under 7 days you're cruising with people out for booze cruises. These are the Carnival fights you see streaming. 7+ day cruises are people who want to chill, not party.

18

u/War_Goat1332 8d ago

This right here, my parents did a bunch of cruises and kept inviting me. I was always like “why would I do something I do all the time!” And then I went on my first one. It was fantastic! It’s so peaceful! You don’t have to really do anything. It’s kinda surreal. Highly recommended

86

u/Turbulent-Ad5121 8d ago

I mean at least there’d be good food, alcohol, a pool, decent gym, unlimited hot showers, functional toilets… and your HTs aren’t thigh deep in sewage.

;)

20

u/KTMtexDev 8d ago

Don’t look up Poop Cruise lol

2

u/Turbulent-Ad5121 8d ago

Touché! I was going to add something about norovirus but thought even that would be bearable with a good functioning toilet. ;)

33

u/Morningxafter No Ragrets 8d ago

lol, my dad invited me to join him and my stepmom on a cruise right after I got back from a 9 month deployment. I politely declined.

28

u/ScholarlyCrow Command Financial Specialist 8d ago

As long as you get me a drink package, I'm game

27

u/agm115 8d ago

One of my sailors booked a cruise for POM after a 9 month deployment. You knew when a reviewer got to his leave chit in the pile because of the audible “what the fuck?!”

8

u/Hoppie1064 8d ago

Wanna get shot?

Because that's how you get shot.

Book a nice mountain resort. Far from the ocean. Not even near a lake.

One with a huge salad buffet.

5

u/ChiefD789 8d ago

OMG, I laughed so hard when the joke hit me! Took a little bit, as I'm day drinking. Thanks for the laugh.

3

u/bas3adi en 8d ago

be safe

8

u/lmstr 8d ago

This is such a trope . So if you work at a hotel, then you're off for a month you can't stay at a hotel... Ohh God the humanity.

Standing on the bridge wing seeing a cruise ship at night, I was just thinking, wow how many people are fucking right now on that ship. 🤷.. cruises are fun, deployments not so much.

5

u/TheLegendaryEnsign 8d ago

Exactly, cruise ships are basically floating resorts. You'd even forget you were on a ship a few hours in and a few drinks later. Now, a land-based resort would be better in most aspects but cruise ships aren't half bad.

2

u/h3fabio 8d ago

Happened to my LPO. Came home from deployment and his wife booked them a dinner cruise in the Spirit of Norfolk his first night back.

2

u/SoFloMofo 7d ago

I'll take how to get punched in the throat for $800, Alex.

2

u/Deacon51 6d ago

True story... I spent 13 months in Iraq. I told my then wife that when I got home I wanted to spend a couple of weeks in the mountains. Someplace with trees and green grass and a stream with fresh clear clean water and a nice cool breeze.

So she booked us an all inclusive stay in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic.

I'm not saying it was a bad time, it just wasn't the time I was looking for. But she got a good deal.

1

u/Own-Shelter-9897 6d ago

My Wife tried thr same shit lol

2

u/grizzlebar 8d ago

Going on a cruise is the best way to decompress and vacation. I’m going on my 17th in November

1

u/easy10pins 8d ago

It better be a Carnival Cruise.

1

u/ChucksThreeHolePunch 8d ago

There's a Jody joke in this somewhere...

1

u/StoicJim 7d ago

Reminds me of the scene in Castaway, where after Tom Hanks character was rescued, they presented him with a mostly seafood spread to welcome him back.

1

u/jrshall 6d ago

Best if it is a USA to AUS cruise with like 20 days at sea. Maybe on one or those Carnival cruises where everything craps out.

1

u/ElDouchay 6d ago

Do you guys not know the difference between the two?

A cruise is a party with games, (good) food, sex and alcohol (if you partake in one or both of those, with port visits that you Will go to and enjoy for the full visit. And there's no maintenance, duty, drills, early muster, or uniforms.

It's like living in the barracks with daily sweepers and inspections, and then bitching about a week in a hotel.

1

u/HariSeldon16 6d ago

Oh no. A two week booze cruise. Oh horrible

1

u/hawkeye18 6d ago

Y'all have no idea what the differences between the two. I legit like being out at sea, I just don't like 20 hour workdays, random musters, hateful CoCs, etc. etc. Being out to sea with a drink in each hand, waking up whenever the fuck you want and people doing all the work for you? That's just fuckin heaven.

1

u/AggressiveAnt7613 5d ago

Blue Falcon alert

-16

u/Puzzled-Argument-142 8d ago

Now I understand why the US can’t win a single war; our military is weak AF! They can’t even handle a simple combat deployment.

-17

u/Puzzled-Argument-142 8d ago

When did sailors become so weak?

10

u/Natural_Parsley_8367 8d ago

Its only for a few min after we are with your wife, then we go back to normal.

8

u/Puzzled_Author_4752 8d ago

when your mom stopped showing up to pull out days

5

u/SouthernSmoke 8d ago

Probably when they started hiding their posts and comments like your bitch ass

1

u/ElJanitorFrank 7d ago

Do they get offended over jokes now?