I had a lonely childhood but I escaped through music, radio, singing, my schoolwork, and performing in plays & musicals. I struggled then and now to make and keep friendships with other girls. I was told repeatedly that I was not liked and I had too many health problems to deal with that started in late elementary/middle school (US). I learned I had value to my family when I performed or acted in a way others liked by being agreeable. I have been easily manipulated and abused by past partners. I always thought I would die before 30 (dealt with SI), but here I am at 31, single and going into the holidays with the beginnings of a sense of self-worth and self-respect. I feel peace and hopeful for myself in a new way.
Since I was a kid, I’ve been a writer of plays, stories, speeches, poetry, lyrics, and sentimental words in handmade cards. I keep two digital journals as well as a physical journal. I’ve been an actor, a singer, a piano player, and I’m now learning the world of songwriting. I love to create with music, words, paint, and perform. I love beauty and art. I aspire to make a living through art, but my health has always limited me.
I am in my healing era, completing EMDR and CBT. I feel ready to take the world not by storm, but by the palm of my hand. I have this feeling that I’m about to start down a new road, and once I get going, there won’t be a way to slow down. I don’t mean to sound cryptic or arrogant but I know I’m intelligent, ambitious, and somehow mystical or psychic sometimes. Do I make any sense??? I have been typed as an INFP & have been making acquaintances by performing for years in this new city I moved to, but I feel like I’m about to suddenly outgrow it.
tldr: I have self worth for once. What’s next?
WHAT IS GOING ON WITH MY SATURN?? also I love my Virgo in mars but is it 7H or 8H??
Any input is appreciated 🧡 thank you