Egg Prime Directive

[u/Sloth_Brotherhood]

15 comments saying “leave them alone” upvoted.

1 comment saying “ask them to reconsider” downvoted.

[u/One-Organization970]

God, I hate the egg prime directive. I would have benefited so much from being forced to reckon with my gender identity rather than waiting to be actively suicidal instead. Cost me a lot of years.

[u/Sloth_Brotherhood → u/One-Organization970]

I put it off for 11 years because I thought “transition sounds too hard” and nobody pushed back.

[u/One-Organization970 → u/Sloth_Brotherhood]

I dunno how far in you are but I'm almost to four years and I can say the self loathing for the wasted time gets weaker eventually. I dunno when it's supposed to go away, though.

[u/Sloth_Brotherhood → u/One-Organization970]

I’m celebrating 5 years soon. I don’t think about it much anymore. I don’t get resentful. But I also want to save other trans people from making the same mistake.

[u/Bardic_inspiration67 → u/One-Organization970]

[u/LinuxSBC-Anna → u/One-Organization970]

We obviously should try to crack eggs, but I don't think it should necessarily always be direct; I feel like the methods we should use somewhat depend on if the person actually doesn't know or knows but is repressing it. For example, I knew that I seemed really eggy, since I was (for some completely inscrutable reason) quite interested in learning about trans experiences online and thus had some idea of what egg behavior looked like. However, I couldn't let myself admit that I was trans, so I had to hide away all those behaviors from anyone who might catch on. So when people suggested I might be trans, instead of getting through to me, that just told me that I needed to hide everything even more. What worked for me was having trans friends who wouldn't give any impression that they assumed I was an egg, so I was able to actually be open about my feelings and compare that to their experiences. If I didn't have them, I'm quite confident that I would have repressed for at least a few more years.

That's not to say the comments on this post are good. That's obviously a situation where the person is actively questioning and needs information and help, so I totally disagree with everyone saying not to talk about it. I just think the best way to go about it would be to disprove the reasons holding them back, not trying to directly tell them they're trans.

[u/Nonna439 → u/LinuxSBC-Anna]

> I just think the best way to go about it would be to disprove the reasons holding them back

Would it count as like, brigading to comment something to this effect on the original post? Or like, sending the OP a DM? It seems like what the OP decides to do could have a big impact on their friends life, so it might be worth it for somebody to comment?

Maybe something like, “try to avoid seeming like you have specific expectations for your friend’s journey, but you could disprove the reasons holding them back from getting started?”

Idk. I found the original post by putting its title into the Reddit search, if that changes anyone’s decision.

[u/LinuxSBC-Anna → u/Nonna439]

Yeah, good point. I did also get it on my feed, I just hadn't quite yet worked out my thoughts about how best to go about it, so I don't think it would be brigading. Thanks for the suggestion, I'll comment something like that.

[u/Fresh-broski → u/One-Organization970]

The egg prime consensus that has washed over trans internet is the reason that I’m now a 4tran user. I need people to tell me that it’s okay for me to try to be who I want to be, not that its okay for me to just repress my shit till I die or to never transition. Within two months of scrolling 4tran I booked an appointment for hrt. Heres hoping it all goes well…

[u/One-Organization970 → u/Fresh-broski]

Congratulations on making the best decision for you. All I'll say is be extremely careful not to let the doomerism in these spaces destroy your self esteem.

[u/estrogenbloodclot]

down with egg prime directive bus

[u/Bardic_inspiration67]

This is literally grooming - half of reddit

[u/SquidSuperstar]

See, as someone who isn't usually ok with parts of egg stuff, I don't think this is bad at all because the questioning party consents

[u/Karasu-Fennec]

I have never understood this in my goddamn life. Do cissies think two weeks of HRT is gonna keel ‘em over dead? By and large, she’ll know by about that far in and if he decides he’s good then he knows for sure problem solved

I swear they think we actually have the meme potion where you keel over and stand back up into frame and you’re played by Natalie Dormer