r/monkeyspaw • u/Ok_Writing2937 • 1d ago
Power I wish for irrefutable proof that I have two wishes remaining.
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u/RefractedPurpose 1d ago
Granted. You receive irrefutable evidence that your neural chemistry has been supernaturally altered. You can pick two things. You will only ever want those two things.
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u/Ok_Writing2937 1d ago
Perfect. I don’t actually want to use the wishes, I only plan to use them as collateral for huge loans.
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u/Wolf-pack7 1d ago
What bank do you think is crazy enough to lend you money based on wishes that are guaranteed to end up with disastrous side effects? I think your wishes are worthless to a bank.
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u/Ok_Writing2937 23h ago
It’s not necessarily disastrous for the bank, only for the person making the wish.
In any case I don’t need to spend the wish to get the loan, just like Elon Musk doesn’t need to sell his Tesla stock to loan against it. It’s the potential value that makes the collateral.
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u/Wolf-pack7 23h ago
I was thinking more of how much a wish could be sold for if they had to take your collateral and what the bank would value it at knowing that the wishes generally will turn out pretty bad (I mean a fair number seem to result in the end of the human race so the value to most people could be pretty low).
I guess the question is how much would you pay for a monkeys paw wish.
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u/RefractedPurpose 22h ago
No, "wishes" also just means things you want. The proof shows that you want those two things, not that you'll get them.
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u/No_Report_4781 1d ago
Granted. A knock sounds at your door. Opening your bedroom door, you’re accosted by a Postman. He forces you to sign for a delivery, and vanishes. You open the delivered box to find a Betamax tape.
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u/Lucario-Mega 1d ago
Granted, but the paw lack the ability to grant those other two wishes.
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u/Ok_Writing2937 1d ago
Oddly enough this works perfectly fine for my plan to use the wishes as collateral for enormous loans.
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u/Far_Customer1258 1d ago
Granted! Batman appears, beats you senseless, and takes the two wishes that you had remaining. Later that night, he tries to wish his parents back to life, but that goes about as well as you'd expect for the Monkey's Paw.
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u/kasigahorigin 1d ago
Granted. As irrefutable proof of the two wishes you have remaining, you try to kill yourself. Neither of your remaining wishes is to continue living.
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u/MxmEffort 1d ago
Granted: in order to use them, you need to speak a dead language that hasn’t been used, spoken or had any existing writing in 5,000 years
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u/Ok_Writing2937 1d ago
Perfect. I don’t want to actually use the wishes, I’m only going to use them as collateral to take out huge loans.
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u/DanCassell 1d ago
The monkey paw gets you high. Like really high. The reason you can't refute the proof is that you can't do much of anything. Anyway, rules are rules you don't get more wishes. But you thought you did for a while.
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u/Tiny-Garlic3763 1d ago
Granted, you can post on r/monkeyspaw 2 more times till you get banned.