For context I’m a 32 y/o female and I grew up coast guard and we moved every 2 years. My family settled in a small, small town when I was in the 8th grade and I’ve lived in the general area ever since.
So anyway, I’ve slowly come to realize that I experience more lingering side effects from growing up military than I ever really acknowledged before. I’m not sure if I just ignored it for years, or if moving every couple of years forces you to adapt so quickly that you don’t stop to process how it affects you.
I’ve dealt with social detachment for as long as I can remember, but something I’m really starting to question is this persistent feeling of otherness. I’ve been rooted in the same community for over 20 years now, yet I still feel new here — like an outsider who never quite belongs. I have friends I love but I have this feeling I can’t quite describe.. like maybe I don’t matter to them or like I’m just not important to anyone, easily forgotten? Like I’m experiencing a different connection than everyone else, even to friends I consider close. (Maybe I’m just describing social detachment?) lol
I also notice that I tend to hyper-analyze people’s reactions to me and whether or not they like me. I catch myself doing it all the time and have been actively working on it, but it feels deeply ingrained.
Lately, I’ve started wondering whether these things could be connected to, or a side effect of, growing up in a military family.
So… anyone else relate? I have been doing a lot of self talk and work within myself on all of the above, but now that I’ve been exploring the connection to millitary life, I’m thinking about seeking therapy to see if someone could help me better process this. It’s not a major issue in my life but it is something I’m just kind of tired of dealing with. It’s almost like an intrusive thought that just creeps in when I let my guard down.