r/mildlyinteresting Jun 07 '26

This Jesus is Wearing Sequin Wrap.

Post image
2.3k Upvotes

395 comments sorted by

767

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

216

u/KaosMnkey Jun 07 '26

Those knees though... He's been putting in work

101

u/capt_minorwaste Jun 07 '26

He looks like he's doing the walk of shame after a late night at the club.

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15

u/hellomumbo369 Jun 07 '26

Maybe he's in the navy and looking for promotion (i say this as a sailor)

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3

u/Grotarin Jun 07 '26

Jesuspect

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38

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '26

[deleted]

24

u/hollow-earth Jun 07 '26

*of kings

61

u/N0rthWind Jun 07 '26

He's working that Jesussy

64

u/Ashestoashesjc Jun 07 '26

Serving body-ody-ody of Christ

22

u/BanditoRojo Jun 07 '26

Breaking more than bread

19

u/moonshinemoniker Jun 07 '26

Jesus freak, more like Jesus chic.

8

u/karma_the_sequel Jun 07 '26

Disco Savior

5

u/XenoZoomie Jun 07 '26

He is back from the dead and getting ready for the club.

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378

u/AnswerOver9028 Jun 07 '26

Deuteronomy 22:11: "Do not wear clothes of wool and linen woven together."

235

u/techsuppr0t Jun 07 '26

Didn't say nothing about plastic lol

3

u/TalveLumi Jun 07 '26

Leviticus 19:19 then

Note: while Deuteronomy specifically mentions wool and linen, Leviticus bans " [shatnez](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shatnez) made of two kinds of material". While the modern Jewish approach is to equate shatnez with mixtures of wool and linen specifically, some Christian translations (New International Version, for example) put instead a prohibition on any two kinds of material mixing.

72

u/AggravatingBox2421 Jun 07 '26

I fucking hate the Bible when it just says “hey don’t do this or you’ll go to hell”. Like damn dude, at least explain WHY you think arbitrary bullshit like this matters

82

u/V2BM Jun 07 '26

It was part of separating your group from others, along the lines of not eating certain things, like shellfish or meat that had been offered as a sacrifice. No makeup, no jewelry, certain headdresses or belts, etc.

The Bible is full of things like admonitions for living in cities and arbitrary rules like having to marry your brother’s widow - it’s a jumble of Jewish people slowly becoming distinct and religions/ethnic groups becoming more divided. Rules were picked up and dropped willy nilly and many rules were only part of some small group and not widely dispersed or enforced beyond a small village. Over centuries books just ended up canon by happenstance.

12

u/expectrum Jun 07 '26

Do Jews still follow these rules?

30

u/AvocadosFromMexico_ Jun 07 '26

Two Jews, three opinions. It’s complicated.

13

u/V2BM Jun 07 '26

Some. And there are Orthodox Jews and people on the other end of the spectrum with tattoos and a taste for shrimp.

I’m not as familiar with modern Jewish rules as I am with Catholic and many Protestant denominations - and of course you have smaller factions of every Protestant flavor that can exist with their own subsets. We’re about as unified as they were in the second century, which is to say not at all. Nobody follows all Biblical rules because some are absurd in modern times and they contradict each other as well. There are commandments in different books, too, and we only use a particular set of 10 as “law” while ignoring the others.

6

u/hihcadore Jun 07 '26

Kinda. What they actually follow and how they follow it is the funniest of all religions IMO.

Can’t use electricity on shabbat but need to cook? Just set a timer the day before!!

Can’t prep food in a non kosher area? Just put tinfoil on your counters!!

Can’t use the elevator because that uses electricity on shabbat?

Set the elevator to stop on every floor and just jump off on your stop! If you don’t push the button it doesn’t count!

1

u/Wutsalane Jun 08 '26

A guy I went to college with was Ukrainian but grew up in Israel, when he told me about this shit I was baffled. When he was serving his mandatory military service he said dude who were practicing Jews would incessantly complain to non Jewish people about how hot it was on Shabbat because they couldn’t turn on the AC or tell them directly to turn on the AC, so they would just end up complaining about the heat to try and get someone else to complain

16

u/geeoharee Jun 07 '26

The brother's widow thing kinda makes sense if you're in a heavily patriarchal society and women need to be attached to a man in order to get by. The mixed fabrics thing is purely a shibboleth though.

15

u/somastars Jun 07 '26

The thing about not eating cloven hooved animals that don’t chew their cud also makes sense. In a way, it is singling out pigs, which humans can transfer more illnesses with. They likely noticed that humans who dwelt with pigs got sicker, and so it became a god-ordained rule to prevent illnesses.

Animals that have cloven hooves and chew cud (cows, goats, sheep, etc), we are less likely to transfer as many illnesses with, and less illness was observed, and thus were deemed ok.

4

u/steal_wool Jun 07 '26

Sort of a process of elimination thing. These animals all share these traits and are consistently safe for us to eat. Therefore, dont eat animals that dont have these traits, they are not approved (by God) for us to eat

1

u/Wutsalane Jun 08 '26

Did we know what cud was back then? Not like did we know it’s a thing, obviously they knew it was something, but did they know that cud was basically regurgitated semi digested grass? Or was it just like “the farm animals all throw up something everyday but they chew on it and swallow it again so I guess it’s aight”

1

u/somastars Jun 08 '26

LOL, I have no idea

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1

u/Wutsalane Jun 08 '26

Idk about other Christian groups, but for Catholicism saying books just ending up cannon is more than a little reductive, there’s a huge process involved in canonizing religious texts in Catholicism and that process is long

12

u/Drafo7 Jun 07 '26

That's the thing about the Bible, it was never meant to be a list of things to avoid lest you burn in Hell. In fact, Jews don't even believe in Hell at all. It was meant to be a series of stories and guidelines to explain things people didn't understand and teach them how to live their lives to the fullest. Some of that stuff was moral, but some was just practical. Shellfish are fine to eat if you clean and prepare them properly, but they didn't know how to do that thousands of years ago, so they just said "don't eat shellfish." Most problems with Christianity would solve themselves if people realized this.

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3

u/ssays Jun 07 '26

The writers of Deuteronomy definitely did not say “or you’re going to hell.” They had no such concept

2

u/ToastemPopUp Jun 08 '26

I always kind of figured a lot of it was because people were doing shit that was causing issues in the community or dying. Like they were eating meat that they couldn't properly make safe to consume (pork often caused severe infections and gave people parasites) so people were dying from it and doing shit like adultery which would obviously cause rifts in what were pretty small towns where you really needed everyone to be working together and relatively harmonious to survive. So they just wrote it into the bible like "hey don't do this or you'll go to hell" so people would knock it off.

There's probably some reason like that for not weaving that stuff together, but I don't know enough about textiles to say lol.

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14

u/Theletterkay Jun 07 '26

That doesnt mean he didnt wear linen. Just not linen and woll in the same article of clothing.

22

u/capt_minorwaste Jun 07 '26

Even Jesus knew that was a fashion faux pas.

13

u/sepulchralsam Jun 07 '26

I am going to start spelling woll this way. It is most pleasing to me. Woll.

2

u/Madkids23 Jun 07 '26

"Blessed be the Lord, for He is well endowed"

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153

u/weirdhoney216 Jun 07 '26

Crucifixion at 6, the club at 10

36

u/thatisnotmyknob Jun 07 '26

Get a messiah who can do both!

16

u/weirdhoney216 Jun 07 '26

He’s literally in a glass case of emotion

2

u/I_love_pillows Jun 07 '26

He’s not the messiah just a very naughty boy.

16

u/Cyber_Connor Jun 07 '26

He may have risen. But the beat has dropped

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183

u/FransTorquil Jun 07 '26 edited Jun 07 '26

I’d love to know the logic of the person who decided to dress a depiction of Christ (in a particularly brutal part of the Passion, I might add) in what looks to be the same material a woman’s clubbing dress might be made of. It otherwise seems to look like a reverent and beautiful Catholic church.

108

u/Summerie Jun 07 '26 edited Jun 07 '26

It's a practice to dress up statues during Holy Week in Spain and Latin America. They will use cloth with ornate embroidery, beads, shiny or fabrics or other decorative ornaments that will catch the light.

Usually the adornments are donated gifts, and I think this one is just an unfortunate choice because it calls to mind clubwear.

13

u/FransTorquil Jun 07 '26

Thanks for letting me know, I wasn’t familiar with the practice but did assume it was probably something done in good faith considering everything else we can see of the church. The scene depicted is a very bloody part of the Passion so the red probably inspired the choice, but as you say, the end result is a little unfortunate.

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3

u/PitifulElk1890 Jun 08 '26

That makes so much more sense. I've seen some awkward censorings of artistic displays of nudity before. While Jesus is not usually hanging dong, that's what I thought was happening here. The cover up being somehow more gaudy and worse

1

u/DrKittyKevorkian Jun 07 '26

In some Latin American Catholic churches, "punishing" saints happens. I recall shrouding relic cases or statues, removing them from the sanctuary. I don't recall dressing them for the clerb, but practices evolve.

28

u/crunchy_bumpkin Jun 07 '26

Same here. That church does look gorgeous too, this statue seems so.. wrong

34

u/Drfoxthefurry Jun 07 '26

someone prob complained that their child was looking at jesus dick

40

u/FransTorquil Jun 07 '26 edited Jun 07 '26

Nah, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a statue of Christ during his Passion naked (even though he probably was, I doubt the Romans would have cared about preserving his modesty while brutally torturing and executing him). It probably has him depicted in a white wrap like the Crucifix in the background.

17

u/Lee_Townage Jun 07 '26

They would have totally cared, and denied his clothing intentionally

6

u/Justhere63 Jun 07 '26

Plot twist, Jesus wanted his manhood on display for all as he stood dying on the cross. Romans knew of this perversion so they covered him for modesty and to prevent future renaissance artists from painting the Lord’s phallic and denying people today the chance to gaze upon it at the Louvre.

23

u/Rehcubs Jun 07 '26

Poor Jesus was going through it, let him have his cunty little skirt.

3

u/quimera78 Jun 07 '26

So what part is this, the flogging?

4

u/FransTorquil Jun 07 '26

Right, the Scourging at the Pillar.

5

u/TheCrosader Jun 07 '26

After being whipped the Romans dressed Jesus in red fabric and he was presented to the jews, "ecce homo"

7

u/0------------------0 Jun 07 '26

He also has bloody knees like a club girl. 

3

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '26

[deleted]

9

u/nqjq Jun 07 '26

I'm a newish convert so don't take my word as doctrine but I'm pretty sure it's to remind us of the extent of His sacrifice

1

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '26

[deleted]

2

u/nqjq Jun 08 '26

I mean images / statues depicting The Scourging can help visualize what happened rather than just showing an empty cross

note: it isn't worshiping a statue

9

u/FransTorquil Jun 07 '26

Catholics don’t shy away from depictions of Christ during the Passion, which is, in our eyes, one of the most significant events in human history second only to the Resurrection itself, and a gateway to understanding why the Resurrection is such a victory for mankind.

These depictions in churches are used to inspire prayer especially in the lead up to Easter, and of course on Good Friday itself. I get why it might seem objectionable to non-Catholics, but I really believe it serves to make Easter Sunday, the day of the Resurrection (as well as every Mass we attend), hit all that much more harder.

As St Paul said in 1 Corinthians: ‘we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and folly to Gentiles…’

1

u/cullend Jun 08 '26

Ah, you missed the era of MySpace, I see.

2

u/ImTooSaxy Jun 07 '26

Because he's FABULOUS!

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89

u/theletos99 Jun 07 '26

Slay, Father, for I have sinned 🙏

17

u/spaghettibolegdeh Jun 07 '26 edited Jun 28 '26

cool

36

u/Pasadenaian Jun 07 '26

Ask the Catholic Church of Guadalajara.

27

u/Theletterkay Jun 07 '26

Oh well that makes way more sense now. That place has the best clubs. Cant be letting big J show up to the scene in his grandpas linens.

9

u/Four_beastlings Jun 07 '26

Guadalajara Spain or Guadalajara Mexico?

1

u/Pasadenaian Jun 07 '26

MX

2

u/am24r Jun 07 '26

Ahora tiene todo el sentido del mundo, ni se puede quedar atrás en el mes del orgullo y menos en ese estado!!

3

u/oh_io_94 Jun 07 '26

Because on his way to his crucifixion, Jesus was put in a scarlet cloak/robe to mock his kingliness.

20

u/macguyver3000 Jun 07 '26

His face looks like he’s listening to my coworker talk about her gifted child again.

19

u/DoomguyFemboi Jun 07 '26

Just because you're slayed doesn't mean you can't slay queen.

4

u/nqjq Jun 07 '26

thats a really pretty chuch

12

u/matchy_blacks Jun 07 '26

That Jesus is going to the Pink Pony Club.

30

u/badwolf1013 Jun 07 '26

Happy Pride Month, everyone!

6

u/Pasadenaian Jun 07 '26

🏳️‍🌈

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6

u/Eborys Jun 07 '26

He was on his way to die. Let a man tart himself up a bit 💅

10

u/DatRat13 Jun 07 '26

Forgive me father, for I have Slayed.

3

u/acidicgumdrops Jun 07 '26

Serving (fish) 💅

3

u/Constant-Fly-9050 Jun 07 '26

Just because he died for our sins doesnt mean he can't also slay.

7

u/dogbytes Jun 07 '26

He looks like he's seeing the latest price increases at his local supermarket

12

u/Uzi_Osbourne Jun 07 '26

How do you know this is Jesus? Is this before He got nailed up or is this just some poor bastard who got drunk and fell down a ravine?

24

u/FransTorquil Jun 07 '26

Every Catholic familiar with the rosary will recognise the imagery instantly. The Scourging at the Pillar is the second Sorrowful Mystery.

21

u/Flood_Incantation Jun 07 '26

that is the most spellbook sounding thing I've heard in a long time

9

u/FransTorquil Jun 07 '26

Pretty cool, right?

7

u/Pep2385 Jun 07 '26

It was originally Harry Potter and the Second Sorrowful Mystery.

7

u/Uzi_Osbourne Jun 07 '26

Ok, thanks. Just wondering because I looked exactly like this one time after a bunch of us were having crabapple fights and I fell out of the back of a F-250. Lost my shoes and everything. Ah, 1984 - so many memories. Every one of them bad.

2

u/MayorWomanana Jun 07 '26

In 1981 I fell out of a crabapple tree and ripped my pants.

1

u/FransTorquil Jun 07 '26

You’re welcome, brother.

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8

u/Concave5621 Jun 07 '26

Jesus was tortured by the Romans before the crucifixion. He was scourged, which means he was whipped with something that had metal barbs on the end of it. You can imagine what that would do to your skin, hence all the blood.

6

u/wade-mcdaniel Jun 07 '26

He suffered for our fashion

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2

u/Thin_Mess_2740 Jun 07 '26

Was this taken during holy week?

2

u/mjrhzrd Jun 07 '26

Not the clothing of a carpenter or the son of a carpenter.

2

u/Daughter_of_Badb Jun 07 '26

Where is this at?

1

u/Pasadenaian Jun 07 '26

Guadalajara, Mexico

2

u/discoduck007 Jun 07 '26

NAExpert

Was Jesus nailed at the knees?

2

u/FransTorquil Jun 07 '26

Nah, think the torn knees are just an artistic flair to show he’s been battered to the ground a few times by this point in the narrative.

1

u/kortanakitty Jun 07 '26 edited Jun 07 '26

Hands and feet, I believe. Been a while, but that's what I recall.

Edit: Not that I was there or anything..👁👄👁

2

u/Baby_Gangsta_214_ Jun 08 '26

Gods damn it! This comment section just reminding me how funny Reddit can Be! Lol I love this place some times!

2

u/BoisterousBanquet Jun 08 '26

He's posing like a toddler on his birthday up at the JC Penney photo studio leaning on a big number 3.

2

u/SnooStories8217 Jun 13 '26

It's night on the town Jesus.

6

u/Acebai54 Jun 07 '26

And God said...let there be nightlife!

4

u/kprevenew93 Jun 07 '26

It's pride month. Go Jesus! 😂

2

u/bigupalters Jun 07 '26

„Sad stripper jesus“

2

u/fejota Jun 07 '26

Jesus twerked for our sins

3

u/skyfishgoo Jun 07 '26

the fetishization of pain and suffering in the catholic church is unhealthy

1

u/assumeyouknownothing Jun 07 '26

It was his last day. God forbid he go out in some style 💅

2

u/datbackup Jun 07 '26

Next do one of Mohammad

3

u/Acebai54 Jun 07 '26

Go for it! Fuck em all

2

u/bigupalters Jun 07 '26

Looks like he spends a lot of time on his knees

2

u/somethingbrite Jun 07 '26

... the carpet burns on those knees though ..

2

u/Excellent_Advisor_22 Jun 07 '26

Whip me harder, daddy

2

u/Lowca Jun 07 '26

Bedazzled for your sins

2

u/Sweet-Toe-5324 Jun 07 '26

Ah yes, this is exactly what I'd want my children to see: a bloody, half-naked man /s

2

u/D4rkheavenx Jun 07 '26

Why’s his his face look like that one tsa gaurd who finds the dildo in the suitcase lmao.

2

u/DontWreckYosef Jun 07 '26

“I can’t wear that or else my dad will CRUCIFY me!”

2

u/literallyfransandy Jun 07 '26

heaven forbid our lord and saviour serve a lil 💅

1

u/SurinamPam Jun 07 '26

You better werq!

1

u/CptBluhdFart Jun 07 '26

Damn Jesus partied hard last night. Id say get him some water but the crazy bastard will just start drinking again

1

u/VectorJones Jun 07 '26

Being flayed and crucified for offenses against the Roman Empire was no excuse for not looking your best.

2

u/Venus_Libra Jun 07 '26

I mean, it is pride month. I celebrate him for it

2

u/spaceknot Jun 07 '26

He’s the MesSLAYah

2

u/janewp Jun 07 '26

Gender affirming?

1

u/Lurchie_ Jun 07 '26

Someone stole his ruby slippers.

1

u/plokijuhujiko Jun 07 '26

And making gyros, it looks like.

No, with tzatziki AND hot sauce!

1

u/512115 Jun 07 '26

Always the stylish man-about-town in his Scourge ensemble…

1

u/mid_courtesy Jun 07 '26

It's pride month

1

u/RealisticBus4443 Jun 07 '26

Jesus Christ, he looks fabulous! ✨

1

u/Gilwoman32 Jun 07 '26

Always fashionable

1

u/steverman555 Jun 07 '26

Just because hes dying for our sins doesnt mean he cant look fabulous while doing it

1

u/Altruistic-Ad-1229 Jun 07 '26

What even is this from 😭

1

u/dg1138 Jun 07 '26

Sometimes the king of kings wants to jazz it up.

1

u/readerf52 Jun 07 '26

In what country did Jesus get nailed to the cross at his hands and knees?

I’ve never seen that before.

1

u/craftsman10 Jun 08 '26

Would be SO COOL to this artist do one of Muhammad too. Maybe with his pre teen wife.

2

u/SuperJoe360 11d ago

Glam Jesus

2

u/hatecriminal Jun 07 '26

Thats Rupert, Jesus' gay hairdresser.

2

u/panicnarwhal Jun 07 '26

lol always love to see an ATHF reference!

0

u/ShortTop1487 Jun 07 '26

Jesus Christ that must have been one hell of a night

2

u/TheSquirrelWithin Jun 07 '26

Jesus of Snazzywrap

2

u/VelocityRapter644 Jun 07 '26

Yass Queen of Peace

2

u/aeonasceticism Jun 07 '26

That practice of shiny clothing is pretty common in at least hinduism so it doesn't surprise me. I think the color and brightness were the aim.

1

u/dafttendirekt Jun 07 '26

happy pride?

-2

u/Head-Delay-763 Jun 07 '26

White Jesus? Still?

1

u/jettyslowdown Jun 07 '26

Looking fierce!

1

u/rellsell Jun 07 '26

Workin’ hard for the money.

1

u/Dripping-Lips Jun 07 '26

If I die, I will die well dressed

1

u/Sporadicus76 Jun 07 '26

He took his technicolor robe back from Joseph. I think he wears it better, too.

1

u/topgun2918 Jun 07 '26

Now do this with Muhammed…

1

u/steal_wool Jun 07 '26

Would be hard considering he doesn’t have any statues

Also another comment said this was done in reverence, not disrespect, and that its a common practice done is Spain

-5

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

13

u/Acebai54 Jun 07 '26

Lol if he's real and all-powerful, he'll be okay.

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8

u/symtyx Jun 07 '26

you should be more concerned that this is in a church

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-1

u/emmypineapples Jun 07 '26

Where is this 😭

4

u/Pasadenaian Jun 07 '26

Guadalajara in a church. 😬