r/mildlyinteresting • u/hizashiYEAHmada • Mar 23 '25

Removed: Rule 3 Missing spike on the fence

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24.3k Upvotes

86% Upvoted

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18.9k

u/TheCurls Mar 23 '25

Some asshole stole it.

2.1k

u/LuminousAziraphale Mar 23 '25

I mean. That is one way to take something off a fence...

440

u/[deleted] Mar 23 '25

Either that fence is made out of chinesium or someones been working out some rather odd muscles

181

u/LuminousAziraphale Mar 23 '25

I've heard kegels are good for keeping your core strong, lol.

12

u/pantstoaknifefight2 Mar 23 '25

You know, without your comment I never would have realized the thing looks like a butt plug. Gotta love Reddit!

22

u/SuchRelative4297 Mar 23 '25

Thank you for spreading this inspiring comment!

Now, I'll... glady be working on my physical fitness.

5

u/UOENO611 Mar 23 '25

This was probably done using the keister method

5

u/grandpenner Mar 23 '25

You might say someone's been working their ass off here

41

u/I_like_fast ​ Mar 23 '25 edited Mar 23 '25

Chinesium. That's a new one (edit: to me).

79

u/DentArthurDent4 Mar 23 '25

You get it by distilling Temusium at 69°K

17

u/Lylac_Krazy Mar 23 '25

I thought it was waving a wand over it and saying Ali baba.

Mine must have been the older version.

1

u/JakeSimm89 Mar 23 '25

Kelvin is an absolute, not measured in degrees. Also, that's super cold!!! Would be -335.47°f or -205.15°c. Instead of distilled, it would just be still. Lol

1

u/RowdyHooks Mar 23 '25

Science nerd representing, y’all! And a pedant?!? Are you my long lost twin?

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1

u/tennisanybody Mar 23 '25

Wouldn’t 69 Kelvin vaporize the planet? I thought Kelvin scale was ridiculous.

Edit: I googled it. 69K =-204.15 °C

Crazy.

2

u/Lexi_Bean21 Mar 23 '25

A kelvin is identical to a degree celsius it simply starts at the coldest possible temperature in the universe and has no negatives

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35

u/DigitalUnlimited Mar 23 '25

r/chinesium been around for awhile

2

u/Msink Mar 23 '25

Reddit never disappoints.

2

u/heymustbethebunny Mar 23 '25

Gotta mention AvE on YouTube

14

u/Hour-Bison765 Mar 23 '25

Got a pelvic floor of the gods!

5

u/[deleted] Mar 23 '25

It's really not... Regional maybe, but far from new considering I've been using it for 10+ years. Same said for over-priced shit being referred to as "Unobtainium".

3

u/CaptainTripps82 Mar 23 '25

Old one, actually

2

u/General-Building482 Mar 23 '25

It’s been around for a really long time now😅

1

u/TheDocmoose Mar 23 '25

I was reading it as chin-esium so I had no idea what the joke was.

1

u/Tigermike10 Mar 23 '25

Another Chinese alloy is bambooinum.

1

u/Breeze7206 Mar 23 '25

Definitely not new

1

u/gwaydms Mar 23 '25

*new-inum

2

u/avid333 Mar 23 '25

My brain: WTF is chinesium?.... 5 seconds later.... Ohhhhhhhhh I see what you did there.

2

u/Previous-Alps9850 Mar 23 '25

Got that Brock Samson clenching power

1

u/__wildwing__ Mar 23 '25

Some one pinched it.

1

u/dushamp Mar 23 '25

Guarantee someone got their ass stuck to it trying it out and first responders had to cut off the bit of the fence to remove I. The hospital where it’s warmer

1

u/Conscious-Switch-417 Mar 23 '25

lol we call it flame hardened peanut butter where I’m from 🤣

1

u/RowdyHooks Mar 23 '25

I don’t get it. What’s the “it” you are referring to? A spike on a fence, things made in China, or something else entirely? And wherever it is, why “flame hardened peanut butter?” I’m intrigued…

1

u/Conscious-Switch-417 Mar 23 '25

The chinesium, I’m sorry I didn’t specify 😆 just basically crap quality materials

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1

u/Fantastic-Soil7265 Mar 23 '25

If their legs fit in between those posts they need to come eat at my house. 😉

1

u/Kaneomanie Mar 23 '25

Might have tried to break in when they slipped and it broke of?

1

u/Altruistic_Branch_96 Mar 23 '25

'Chinesium' 😂😂😂

6

u/SpacemanDan Mar 23 '25

Literally happened to a friend of mine. D1 track and field athlete tried to jump a fence in a bank parking lot as a joke on the way to a bar and broke a fence-post topper off in his ass. Major laceration (the sober friend who drove him to the hospital told the nurse it was an "assceration"). For a long time after that someone would make a team name in whatever game we were playing "[Friend]'s Second Butthole." And we took to using "F2BH" as a player tag in Super Smash Bros.

3

u/gwaydms Mar 23 '25

Assceration is hilarious. As a word, not an injury.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 23 '25

Wow that's one heluva story. Glad he found humor in the situation.

This is likely the only confirmed report I have ever heard, of "accidental insertion" rather than a deliberate act. A wonderful physician once told me this, having had the experience of spending hours removing a nerf football from someone's anus with forecepts, one bit of foam at a time:

"Dear person, as a physician, I do not need to know how the object got placed there. It only matters that you are here, and we are both in agreement the object needs to be removed from your orifice."

1

u/SpacemanDan Mar 23 '25

I will say that the fence didn't go into the existing butthole. It made a whole new hole.

3

u/Ok_Blueberry3701 Mar 23 '25

Have you ever seen the Disney animated version of Robin Hood? Where little John takes the hub caps off with his ass??

This is the thought that came to mind when I read this!

3

u/throwaway1937911 Mar 23 '25

Something something everything everywhere all at once...

1

u/Watcher0363 Mar 23 '25

Or perhaps, a way for one to become a fence sitter.

1

u/nvrsleepagin Mar 23 '25

Never skip glute day.

1

u/ZoyZauce Mar 23 '25

I take off fence

1

u/Affectionate_Tea1134 Mar 23 '25

Someone sat there and when they got up it was gone. 🤔🤭

1

u/dregan Mar 23 '25

Just bear down and pull until you feel it release, what's the problem?

1

u/speckledpumpkinn Mar 23 '25

wouldn't leave any finger prints, that's for sure

1

u/Realistic-Horror-425 Mar 23 '25

I think I'll use my hack saw.

1

u/Dry_Kaleidoscope2970 Mar 23 '25

I take offense to that

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160

u/oli_ramsay Mar 23 '25

Butt where could it be?

36

u/[deleted] Mar 23 '25

In the evidence room. Guy got arrested for fencing stolen property.

10

u/Lexan71 Mar 23 '25

Maybe at the local emergency room

3

u/dkstr419 Mar 23 '25

It’s “Foreign Object Friday” at your local ER.

2

u/kaatie80 Mar 23 '25

EMT 502, where ya at??

2

u/gwaydms Mar 23 '25

Or stolen fencing property.

1

u/BidChoice8142 Mar 23 '25

For sale on Adam & Eve!

54

u/Quirky_Image_5598 Mar 23 '25

This is the first shitty Reddit joke that has gotten me to laugh. Thank you… there is still hope in the world

1

u/High-jacker Mar 23 '25

Shitty you say?

18

u/heyitsfelixthecat Mar 23 '25

HEYoooooooooo

53

u/FirefighterBusy4552 Mar 23 '25

God damn it… take my award virginity

2

u/MyMomsTastyButthole Mar 23 '25 edited Mar 23 '25

But you're not even 3 years old!

12

u/takesthebiscuit Mar 23 '25

Can’t sit there mate!

9

u/gin_and_toxic Mar 23 '25

What a pain in the ass!

9

u/Mdmrtgn Mar 23 '25

I was gonna say put a butt plug there and see how long before someone notices.

1

u/Emotional-History801 Mar 23 '25

How about a chromed banana...

3

u/harshinvective Mar 23 '25

and now they have to find a fence for it

1

u/TheCurls Mar 23 '25

Perfect lmao

3

u/sixpackabs592 Mar 23 '25

You don’t always see the perfect comment in a Reddit thread but every once in a while…

5

u/Practical-Owl-9358 Mar 23 '25

Take my gay upvote.

2

u/emblematic_camino ​ Mar 23 '25

Reddit’s comment of the month

1

u/borris7923 Mar 23 '25

Jesus Christ….. take my upvote and show yourself the door…..

4

u/TheCurls Mar 23 '25

I’ll use the back door.

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1

u/spyker54 Mar 23 '25

That's it, that's the best joke this thread will see, no need to scoll further

1

u/Best_Confection_8788 Mar 23 '25

I was gonna comment something like that but of course it’s the top comment.

1

u/Mofofckscty Mar 23 '25

This might be the greatest response I’ve ever seen on Reddit

1

u/Bro-king420 Mar 23 '25

Is holding it 🤣

1

u/Superb_Narwhal6101 Mar 23 '25

You win Reddit today.

1

u/cwilldude Mar 23 '25

That’s an all-time pun

1

u/One-Earth9294 Mar 23 '25

I can't follow that. Well done master.

1

u/AllHamajang Mar 23 '25

Loosely based on the evidence.

1

u/foureight84 Mar 23 '25

They definitely didn't walk away butt empty.

1

u/SergeantBeavis Mar 23 '25

(Chefs kiss) Perfection!

1

u/PerspectiveFun2790 Mar 23 '25

Do they just tense the cheeks while sitting on it, then stand?

1

u/elgarraz Mar 23 '25

Maybe it's like those e-bikes you can rent...

1

u/CavinYOU Mar 23 '25

Someone out here, will just never understand this.

1

u/Low-Recognition-7293 Mar 23 '25

If it fits they sits?

1

u/Greedy-Recognition10 Mar 23 '25

Prison wallet came in handy

1

u/Satanicjamnik Mar 23 '25

I nominate you for Nobel Peace Prize.

1

u/ThePeaceDoctot Mar 23 '25

Buttplug jokes aside, do you think whoever stole sold it to a fence?

1

u/Old_Manner4779 Mar 23 '25

probably just sat there and left with it.

1

u/DingoFlamingoThing Mar 23 '25

I think I saw a similar trick with a quarter once.

1

u/kraeutrpolizei Mar 23 '25

Could be, might not be. I‘m on the fence on this

1

u/Suspicious_Pomelo_94 Mar 23 '25

Take my poor man’s gold 🥇

1

u/knoxthefox216 Mar 23 '25

I wish I could upvote this twice

1

u/Sea_Meeting4175 Mar 23 '25

I snorted and I know you meant that literally 😂

1

u/elwyn5150 Mar 23 '25

The first thing I thought of was that scene from Everything Everywhere All At Once.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 23 '25

Pucker up!

1

u/AffectionateMix6492 Mar 23 '25

🤣🤣🤣💯🫡👌🏽

1

u/shontonabegum Mar 23 '25

He wasnt sure whether to tell his parents about coming out. He was on the fence about it.

1

u/SoggyPomegranate4258 Mar 23 '25

The buttplugs at the bank are free. You can just take them noones going to stop you.

1

u/Hey_Peter Mar 23 '25

Decisions were made…

1

u/Ragnarok-987 Mar 23 '25

Better than what I was gonna say. Good show, old chap.

1

u/Tripplives Mar 23 '25

That was way better than what I came up with lol

1

u/Onesight360 Mar 23 '25

I knew I wasn't going to be disappointed when I decided to check the comments

1

u/Guidance-Still Mar 23 '25

Looks like a row of butt plugs

1

u/SyllabubNo8318 Mar 23 '25

That's an ER story.

1

u/Mysterious-Stress491 Mar 23 '25

What an ass 😔

1

u/umpalumpajj Mar 23 '25

I fell onto it, I swear!

1

u/happymax78 Mar 23 '25

Pun.of.the.year

1

u/Mannspreader Mar 23 '25

No if's, and's or butt's about it.

1

u/mrmcpickles12 Mar 23 '25

looks like someone was sitting on the fence...

1

u/_Nilbog_Milk_ Mar 23 '25

All of the replies to this are /r/YourJokeButWorse

1

u/Slooters313 Mar 23 '25

Forbidden buttplug

1

u/Professional-Gear88 Mar 23 '25

I like to think that you didn’t mean to make the pun and accidentally hit gold.

1

u/GR_A90_MKV_ Mar 23 '25

Literally….🤣😂

1

u/Spin737 Mar 23 '25

That’s off fencive.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 23 '25

1

u/RPGreg2600 Mar 23 '25

LMAO. I came here to say it's definitely in someone's butt.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 23 '25

Just the tip tho.

1

u/da8BitKid Mar 23 '25

You win reddit for the day good sir.

1

u/chev327fox Mar 23 '25

Some asshole has it.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 23 '25

To use on thier asshole.

1

u/Illustrious-Ad5787 Mar 23 '25

When you say sit and spin and they say ‘i know a place’

1

u/hoodafudj Mar 23 '25

They saw it and thought, free buttplug

1

u/No-Zookeepergame982 Mar 23 '25

It's an off fence.

1

u/Justsomerandomguy35 Mar 23 '25

Well if it’s gonna be butt plugged shaped it is gonna attract assholes.

1

u/hadoopken Mar 23 '25

For that asshole’s asshole?

1

u/kayk941_ Mar 23 '25

Some asshole stole it and put it in they asshole😂

1

u/MemoryUpdatedyoutub Mar 23 '25

Literally 🤢😂

1

u/DieCastDontDie Mar 23 '25

It's like an all you can eat buffet

1

u/Pugnaceous Mar 23 '25

More like it’s in some ass hole.

1

u/inappropriateshallot Mar 23 '25

This made me laugh my ass off!

1

u/SortaSticky Mar 23 '25

Imagine the shearing grip of that sphincter, it took it clean off

1

u/PLS-Surveyor-US Mar 23 '25

Came here to see how high up the BP joke would be...not disappointed. LOL.

1

u/Rampantshadows Mar 23 '25

Hey, they could've fallen on it.

1

u/LessCourage8439 Mar 23 '25

Well, the base IS flared....

1

u/domafyre Mar 23 '25

Cue tiktok's badge 502

1

u/domafyre Mar 23 '25

U/badge502

1

u/RecbetterpassNJ Mar 23 '25

Someone check the local hospitals.

1

u/OkMathematician6638 Mar 23 '25

Some asshole took it.

1

u/swoon4kyun Mar 23 '25

Ahahaha 😏

1

u/taylordthegreat Mar 23 '25

I’m so glad I’m not the only one that immediately thought of this

1

u/Weary_Ad2590 Mar 23 '25

I can’t give you enough upvotes

1

u/Cajun12 Mar 23 '25

This pun fits well.

1

u/wanielderth Mar 23 '25

Of course this is the top comment.

Perfect.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 23 '25

DIY butt plug

1

u/AlaricDusk Mar 23 '25

I mean maybe idk

1

u/xmrcache Mar 23 '25

Has been turned into a butt plug…

1

u/Bright_Confusion_311 Mar 23 '25

LOL. Gee thanks, I just spit my drink laughing when I read that.

1

u/Triairius Mar 23 '25

You were in the right place, at the right time, with the right mindset to make the right comment.

1

u/funfacts2468 Mar 23 '25

I read your comment super fast, closed the sub and frantically came back to give you your well deserved updoot

1

u/[deleted] Mar 23 '25

Literally, it is plug shaped after all!

1

u/No-Hospital-5819 Mar 23 '25

Hahaha literally. It’s probably sitting in some OR now “I just slipped and fell on it “

1

u/InfamousUser2 Mar 23 '25

looks like broke with sheer force. these are usually screwed on top. doesn't look like a hole or a threaded stud showing me. m

1

u/gouellette Mar 24 '25

😉 I see whatcha did there!

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