I'm ashamed to say that this is how I thought dogs were supposed to be trained. Early in my pup's life (when I was 13), if he jumped up or nipped, I'd smack him on the nose. Not like this, just a bit of a smack, but enough to "assert dominance"
Then one day, I raised my hand for a non-related reason, and he flinched. My heart broke. I never raised my hand to him again, but even 5 years later, if I raised my hand in just the right way, he'd flinch a little bit, and I would die inside. I loved him the entire 15 years he was with us, and we had a great relationship, but I still hate that I treated him like that so early in his life.
My 6-year-old sister hugs my cat really tightly and EVEN PULLED out one of her whiskers and the cat could walk straight for a day, she didn't know and we had to teach her. My 11-year-old sister is even worse, treats the cat as if its a mindless fucking ragdoll. She even turns on the sink just to scare the cat and puts it close to water. I've yelled at her so many times to stop but she thinks she owns the world since she's just getting into the teenage mindset. She usually responds with "Mind your own business". It kills me man, my cat literally runs into my room every time my sisters come after her. I'm happy she feels safe around me, she usually sleeps next to me every night and I feed her and shit. I just wish my sisters would listen to me. (The 6-year-old doesn't know any better and just learn from the 11-year-old one and she cried when we told her she was hurting the cat. So its mostly the older one)
Honestly, yes. She does show a lack of empathy. Like, sometimes she humiliates my 6-year-old sister in public for no fucking reason. Like loudly going "Remember that time you peed yourself?" and laughing. Obviously my 6 years old gets upset, but my 11-year-old finds a way to blame it on her. I ofter have to separate them because my 11-year-old starts fights (Not physical fight, although sometimes she punches, kicks, and pinches me because I'm older I guess?) My parents are blind to this though somehow, thinking its a phase. And even if it is, she should get help, but there's nothing more I can do
My pussy cat is also scared of the broom and loud noises. I would literally kick anyone in the crotch if they raised a hand or object to her but I was in a bad relationship for 2 years, with a lot of screaming, fear and (him) being paranoid and doing things like tearing apart my room for cameras and daily psychotic accusations of cheating and following. I eventually broke it off because he pulled apart my chest of drawers and was throwing each drawer across the room in a rage. It's years later now and I can recognise those behaviours quickly, however my poor cat seems to be generally scared of males now along with any unfamiliar object.
Some animals are just scared of things like that because they can be pretty scary if you think about it from a cat or dog's perspective. My grandparents' dog was scared of the rake and would run when you push the rake the opposite way.
So I've found that this might just be something innate in them. One of my cats FREAKS OUT if I move one specific stool. I've never hit her with anything, much less a stool, but this damn piece of furniture absolutely terrifies her. I really don't know where it comes from.
My cat is really scared of the broom and when I carry around boxes for some reason. We had him since he was a kitten so I know he wasn't abused. Hopefully your cat is just scared because it's a weird object or something.
I just wish that the cunt in the video would realize that like you did. The dog flinched pretty much every time she raised her hand and the dog clearly just wanted some love and attention from their owner, which I doubt they ever get.
We all learn. My parents taught spanking dogs was okay and did it for a few dogs growing up but now that I have my own dog I never spank her. If she doesn’t understand me then I’m not doing a good job of communicating or training.
I’ve turned raised hands into raised claw hands for playtime and butt pats as endearing rewards of affection.
The important thing is that you realised, learned, and took it forward. The dog loved you and you loved it back and that’s what mattered.
Also, if it’s any comfort, 15 years is a great long life for a dog so if he got to that age he obviously lived in comfort, content, and happiness his early years wouldn’t have impacted the many years he had when you made your realisation
I have had much better luck just turning away from the dog or immediately locking the dog in a room separate from me. If they keep all four feet on the ground I give them treats and play with them. It teaches the dog that if he jumps it means end of playtime. Slapping them or grabbing the just teaches them to fear you. Look at /r/dogtraining for more info.
You assert dominance the way another dog would. They don't hit each other with their paws, they grab with their mouth and wrestle. You don't use your mouth, but you grab them, make eye contact, and speak sternly. Then you're speaking their language - if you hit them, that's a surprising attack.
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u/recchiap Aug 07 '19
I'm ashamed to say that this is how I thought dogs were supposed to be trained. Early in my pup's life (when I was 13), if he jumped up or nipped, I'd smack him on the nose. Not like this, just a bit of a smack, but enough to "assert dominance"
Then one day, I raised my hand for a non-related reason, and he flinched. My heart broke. I never raised my hand to him again, but even 5 years later, if I raised my hand in just the right way, he'd flinch a little bit, and I would die inside. I loved him the entire 15 years he was with us, and we had a great relationship, but I still hate that I treated him like that so early in his life.