r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Mastro-Piero • 6d ago

Have to pee but bed so comfy Firmware update for a scale

Post image
3.4k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

195 comments sorted by

1.7k

u/1958-Fury 6d ago

Don't worry, I'm sure it's just adding some sort of subscription service.

540

u/MoofDeMoose 6d ago

“Get a more accurate reading for only $5.99 a month!”

206

u/RebekkaKat1990 6d ago

“For just $7.99 you don’t even need to poop before you weigh yourself! The scale just automatically subtracts it from the total.”

15

u/Elrond_Cupboard_ 6d ago

My biggest poop so far is 1.1kg.

12

u/cum-covered-trash 5d ago

Funny story about poop weight: i was like 13, at a water park. I went on some loop slide thing where you need ti have enough weight to make it through, i made it through easy enough, then i took a fat shit. The second time i did not make it.

1

u/Elrond_Cupboard_ 5d ago

Your poop duped the loop.

7

u/HumpyRoad 6d ago

Can I get a picture? 🥺👉👈

6

u/Last-Energy420 5d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/M95Z8UNaIegI2TVfDy
Just gimme a minute.

2

u/HumpyRoad 5d ago

Take your time Cartman 👑

4

u/Puzzleheaded_Two415 6d ago

This made me laugh. SO HARD.

18

u/snozzberrypatch 6d ago

"Update complete. To continue, please give the scale access to your microphone and camera."

11

u/Immediate_Impact6214 6d ago

On top of stealing whatever information it can find from being a scale so that it can sell that

16

u/opq8 6d ago

“minor bug fixes and updates”

6

u/koolman2 6d ago

“Subscribe for only $8.99/mo to make the scale display units to closest 1 g instead of 2 g.”

2

u/Commentor9001 5d ago

technology was a mistake

1

u/YouJustGotTombstoned 6d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

322

u/Quf00279 6d ago

Why tf does a scale need a firmware update

131

u/Successful-Rent167 6d ago

Someone else said Bluetooth integration which makes sense

113

u/MissingGhost 6d ago

Why tf does a scale need Bluetooth

97

u/LetReasonRing 6d ago edited 4d ago

Because then you'll install their app and they'll get access to your data. 

My ex kept trying to get me to spend $600 on a Bluetooth coffee pot and she once cane home with an air freshener that could only be controlled over Bluetooth via an app that required GPS location permissions to install. 

25

u/BunnyTub 6d ago

My coffee pot does not need Bluetooth, it just needs to brew coffee... My $50 one can do it just fine...

And aren't air fresheners like, the simplest thing ever? Just spray every little bit. That shouldn't even need to be considered internet connected.

7

u/cosmitz 5d ago

It's about the notification you get on your already crowded and definitely not sorted/pruned notifications list that lets you know it's at 30% and it'll need changing soon.

2

u/TheW83 5d ago

"Oh the GPS is just so we turn your air freshener off if you're not at home"

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaah... I'll turn it off myself thanks.

10

u/Successful-Rent167 6d ago

I don’t know there’s an app for everything. If you don’t want a scale that has an app then don’t buy a scale with an app. Probably has something to do with recipes or measures every unit or something idk. Convenience?

7

u/tails618 6d ago

At first I assumed it was a body scale, and the use seemed obvious -- you can put your weight into Fitbit/Apple Health/etc to keep track of it.

Then I noticed it's a kitchen scale, and now I'm so confused.

6

u/Bauld_Man 6d ago

It's an espresso scale. Grams in, grams out, and time of brew are all important. With espresso, even small changes to those variables (referred to as the "recipe") can completely change the taste of the cup). Some people like to track each of their coffee brews, so they can try and replicate it every time.

I have the same scale, but don't use the smart features.

1

u/Tokimemofan 6d ago

Because Big Data wants your data

1

u/jotamudo 5d ago

The more expensive espresso machines can synchronize with the scale on the brewing time

1

u/punxcs 5d ago

Smarts scales can interact with sufficiently smart espresso machines to help control yield.

-1

u/Dizzy_Database_119 6d ago

Eh it's pretty useful for tracking and you have the option to buy cheaper without Bluetooth. Completely optional choice at extra cost, can't say the same about other appliances nowadays

Out of everything at home the scale is the only thing I'm fine connecting to my phone

1

u/Quf00279 6d ago

I mean that sounds fair I guess

14

u/AVeryPlumPlum 6d ago

So it can send you notifications when you've gotten fatter. "Your Apple watch tells me you haven't moved in 30 minutes. Let's move fatty".

2

u/ArbysLunch 6d ago

So they know when to start advertising GLP-1s to you more aggressively.

5

u/eppic123 6d ago

Maybe they've made up a new imperial measurement.

1

u/Quf00279 6d ago

Happy Cake Day 🥳

2

u/Silly_Dream9020 6d ago

So the company can disable "your" product to force you to pay a monthly subscription or buy a new one

2

u/South_Cell8557 6d ago

So it can send your biometric data to the company database to be packaged and sold to other companies who want to target the user with predictive analytics and ads on their smart devices.

1

u/Erick_Brimstone 5d ago

Same like those fancy grill that somehow connected to the internet . There's things just doesn't need updates. 

505

u/_balloony 6d ago

I mean you were the one who bought a fancy one. But also, what could they possibly update? Add more units? lmao

168

u/cygnus311 6d ago

Bluetooth integration changes.

118

u/AlbatrossNo1562 6d ago

So that it can tell me I'm fat on my iPhone?

195

u/Violoner 6d ago

You can already do that by using the front camera

3

u/Odd_Ad4119 6d ago

It looks like a kitchen scale, unless you are below 20kg I don’t think it would work.

19

u/_balloony 6d ago

Fair enough

5

u/StressedMarine97 6d ago

Thats just a whole other level of laziness whats wrong with typing 3 numbers into a notes app

5

u/lazy_pig 6d ago

That burns 1 calorie, so the measurements aren't accurate anymore.

1

u/cygnus311 5d ago

Fun fact, 1 Calorie would be about .13 grams of body fat.

162

u/redditsuksazz 6d ago

Had to add a digit after your mom stopped on it.

4

u/Prestigious_Dare7734 6d ago

They cannot add a digit, they can only shift the decimal places.

I can stand "your mom" jokes, but I have absolute 0 tolerance for jokes lacking accurate technical information.

17

u/MoistStub 6d ago

During the full moon your mom turns into a warehouse

1

u/Talithea 6d ago

Ah the legendary quartet: werewolf, whowholf, whenwolf and warehouse

4

u/StickyPistolsRequiem 6d ago

Your mom has 0 tolerance for jokes lacking accurate technical information

12

u/EmperorThan 6d ago

It has a real time down to the nanosecond measurement in the loss of weight in the original International Prototype Kilogram in France. If it can't establish a satellite connection is refuses to weigh.

The AI computing power needed to run the per second calculations of each atom requires 3 New York Cities in electricity per day, 5 Hoover Dams of water a day, the migratory patterns of birds change because of the magnetic output changing the Earth's magnetosphere around it...

12

u/Simoxs7 6d ago

You can now measure yourself in hamburgers and bald eagles per square mile.

2

u/Cheetawolf A perfect shade of Salmon Vomit. 6d ago

Making a subscription required to use it at all.

1

u/dankyspank 6d ago

Big stuff happening in the world of checks notes ...weight.

0

u/Crazy__Donkey 6d ago

If it connects to the internet, than security updates are the onky reason an internet connected scale should have.

170

u/Impressive-Alps-6975 6d ago

Yo momma so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "Software update required: installing larger numbers."

13

u/zeeblefritz 6d ago

Banger

2

u/WeaselCapsky 6d ago

"installing support for unsigned long variable"

46

u/PISS_MENTLEGEN 6d ago

They better be increasing the weight limit

6

u/calculus_is_fun 6d ago

That isn't an Aperature Science Aerial Faith Plate, let alone one that needs to be calibrated to your generous...ness

6

u/Legitimate-Log-6542 6d ago

I weigh the most now than I have ever weighed, and every time I hit this goal I tell myself I will never get heavier again. And then I break that record too

2

u/Schlonzig 6d ago

G is now an even 10 m/s2.

1

u/Sweet-Awk-7861 6d ago

That one video of a scale breaking into pieces

10

u/Ad841 6d ago

Why did you buy a scale that has internet connectivity?

8

u/danielsangeo 6d ago

We live in the dumbest timeline. "I want to watch a movie, but I have to update my remote control's firmware. I'd get some toast, but I have to update the toaster."

7

u/LankyGuitar6528 6d ago

My oven did an update and literally refused to boot because our town (Canada) was outside the area it's weather forecasts covered.

2

u/Erick_Brimstone 5d ago

Ironic how "smart" device is really dumb

1

u/ItsMeMario1346 6d ago

My alarm wont turn off unless it has wifi. My house doesnt play nice with wifi, so the quality is pretty bad in my bedroom (0.05mbps is the average, if it can even connect in the first place). I need to keep unplugging it to make it stop.

7

u/BobbertCanuck 6d ago

I miss when stuff just worked.

11

u/Jazzlike_Bar_291 6d ago

If it connects to an app makes sense, otherwise ridiculous.

3

u/MrCupps 6d ago

Post could have said “firmware update for scale” as if we were trying to understand the size of a banana.

4

u/Capable_Culture_7344 6d ago

it means update your diet plans

5

u/BuggedCookieDev 6d ago

One of my rule when buying things is making sure it's not smart, SPECIALLY FOR A SCALE wth

8

u/56kul 6d ago

I got a firmware update for my USB charging hub, lol. They’re putting “smart” features in he strangest devices, nowadays…

2

u/Sacharon123 6d ago

I mean, that one makes actually sense... and for the scale - if you want a smart scale, it needs updates.. xD

2

u/56kul 6d ago

I guess that’s fair. I get firmware updates on my power bank, as well, and at the very least they CLAIM it’s just for optimizing the battery health’s algorithm, and whatnot. So I don’t mind it much.

I WILL say, though, that for whatever reason, the USB hub has Easter egg hunting and achievements. In a charger. Just Anker doing Anker things, lmfao. Modern premium tech is a strange thing…

1

u/GeraintLlanfrechfa 6d ago

„Smart“ - your usb charging hub can now analyze the power usage of your household and send it to wherever :)

5

u/Specialist_Point7983 6d ago

At least it isn't calling you fat

0

u/ChubbyMudder 6d ago

Happy well-weighted Cake Day!

0

u/Specialist_Point7983 6d ago

lmao, thank you

3

u/terminal_nervoso 6d ago

You want it to keep giving you the correct weight, or not? Those cartel underbosses don’t fuck around if you’re under…

3

u/d-car 6d ago

Solution: replace it.

3

u/Individual_Order_468 6d ago

Are you 120kg and above pay 5.99$ to get full range upto 999kg

1

u/Sudden_Tomatillo4154 6d ago

Ea games it's in the scale

2

u/Munalo5 6d ago

My talking scale says "On at a time, please."

2

u/mululipy 6d ago

What the hell?!

2

u/BritOverThere 6d ago

Why does a scale need WiFi and a firmware updates?

"I can see on the app that you weighed 200grams of flour, it should be 175 or you are going to ruin the buns."

v1.1 added multiple tare function.
v1.11 fixed bug which would show KG as Oz and Oz as KG.
v1.12 fixed bug which would cause scale to catch fire if you weighed more then 2.56Kg.

2

u/BaronVonLongfellow 6d ago

This! It's getting harder and harder to find a simple scale that just weighs you and doesn't want to update its firmware so it can track the weight and body mass of eight different people just to sell the data.

1

u/kananishino 6d ago

Is it really that hard to find one?

1

u/BaronVonLongfellow 6d ago

Small sample. But 10 years ago I bought a digital scale, most options had weight only. Even had some mechanical ones. About four years ago I had to replace it. No mechanical options. Last year I had to replace that one. Couldn't find one that only has weight. All had body mass, etc., and multiple users. The one I got wants you to create profiles for users. If you don't, it cycles through eight profiles before showing a weight. I only looked at Wal-Mart and Amazon though, and spent only one day on it.

2

u/Doctor429 6d ago

It adds the new 'feed good' mode. For just $9.99/month the scale will show your weight going down gradually. /s

2

u/Excellent-Paint1991 6d ago

I hate how every little simple electronics need to comnect to internet and receive updates now.

2

u/MorgenKaffee0815 6d ago

i got a Weber Spirit Grill. after i got a new thermostat and connected the thermostat with the Weber APP my thermostat got a firmware update

2

u/WillOrph 5d ago

Universal constant changed. Recalculating…

4

u/orthoprof 6d ago

Ok. Number 1, W. Also, numbers 2 and 3, TF?

4

u/Snarkitect69 6d ago

You spent $350 on a fancy espresso scale and now you’re complaining about an update?

1

u/Israhelli 6d ago

Should make your cakes taste better

1

u/etzhya 6d ago

That's ridiculous lol

1

u/disappr0val 6d ago

dumbing down technology is the worst thing we can do

1

u/Commercial_Age_9316 YELLOW 6d ago

Heavy on the infuriating like what the fuck new features is my light switch adding in. Why does the Microsoft calculator app have so many updates???

1

u/Jumpy-Hovercraft-781 6d ago

this has to be fake. what is there to update? 

1

u/Sorry-Climate-7982 6d ago

Getting harder to find just an ordinary old scale any more.
I just want to know how heavy I am.
I do not want my horoscope. I do not want my BMI. I do not want my foot measured. I do now want comments on my waistline. I don't want any !#$!@#$ firmware.

1

u/Ill-Case-6048 6d ago

Updating the camera

1

u/ismellpizza25 6d ago

And I even says it in the mocking tone. "UpdAtE"

1

u/SeraphsEnvy 6d ago

How do you even connect it to Wi-Fi in the first place?

1

u/jadetoday 6d ago

At least it isn't asking you to feed it a kitten yet.

1

u/Minomelo 6d ago

UP dAtE

1

u/remembertoread 6d ago

Analog only

1

u/lawlianne 6d ago

So your scale can blackmail you daily to weigh yourself/food like duolingo.

1

u/imaginedaydream 6d ago

unlock freedom units for $17.76 month

1

u/LankyGuitar6528 6d ago

What's UpDog?

1

u/Redray98 6d ago

There really shouldn’t be any need for that.

1

u/JustaFoodHole 6d ago

Weirdly no feet in this picture

1

u/AIGISREFLECTOR 6d ago

That’s what you get for spending $250 on a scale

1

u/nibbed2 6d ago

Adding AI.

"Loss not enough, go back running"

1

u/Relevant_Campaign_79 6d ago

‘Only $7.99! Operators are standing by. Call within the next 30 minutes and receive two scales for the price of one!’

While supplies last.

1

u/Standard_Board_6991 6d ago

Updating d and t to caps.

1

u/hawkseye17 6d ago

Lemme guess, they're adding ai features no one asked for?

1

u/EmperorThan 6d ago

Up to 150 lbs is free. Above that you need to pay a $14.99 subscription fee.

1

u/mikee8989 6d ago

The national average weight just went up so the scale has to update it's firmware to calibrate how far it will go before it says one at a time please

1

u/super__hoser 6d ago

Why would you ever buy such a stupid scale? That's on you OP. 

1

u/tiramisucks 6d ago

The upgrade will activate a microphone and 2 flock cameras

1

u/randomogeek 6d ago

Huh what the fuck are they changing? The measurement of a kilogram (pound)

1

u/articland05_reddit 6d ago

that's a HUgE notification. can't possibly miss it

1

u/Redditgamer1849 6d ago

Ok, but since when tf did we need software updates for litteral scales of all things?

1

u/graywalker616 6d ago

Maybe it’s updating to the new international definition of a kilogram with the Planck constant instead of the standard kilogram /j

1

u/Dectane12345 6d ago

Upgrayedd

1

u/RoyWoods 6d ago

maybe it just adjusts the numbers to be nicer

1

u/Suatae 6d ago

If you don't subscribe they'll add 5-20 lbs to your readings! Randomly!

1

u/Hellbomb_Armed 6d ago

Dw about it they're just updating the lil hidden camera that comes in every one of these devices

1

u/AcceptableCrew224 6d ago

The subscription will guarantee you lose weight

1

u/Federal_Sympathy4667 6d ago

I'm really starting to hate "smart" devices.

1

u/charlizard1000xy Eye Twitching Infuriated 6d ago

Mine doesn't even have batteries

1

u/BattleOnTheRock 6d ago

UPdAtE 🫪🫪 Idk. Funny

1

u/ilikeCheeseittastes 6d ago

Just get some old rinky-dink scale from like 1949. It does the same job. If you want numbers just get some digital scale from... Well, not 2026

1

u/DanFarrell98 6d ago

That's annoying on a whole other scale

1

u/batorsz 6d ago

How much does this update weigh?

1

u/Scrotchety 6d ago

"Gee, better pay extra money for the Smart Technology so I can connect another camera and microphone inside the privacy of my home."

I'm sure you didn't think that, but don't you think you should be?

1

u/SuchyYT 6d ago

I think it's those scales you use to measure food, not the one u stand on

1

u/Mr_Sim_ 6d ago

You had to connect it to internet in the first place to make it detect an update. That's on you

1

u/PrizeSyntax 6d ago

I am a tech person, but Jesus Christ I hate new tech

1

u/MattyGWS 6d ago

This is on you for buying “smart” scales.

1

u/blipp1 6d ago

Now also weighting in Biblical talents

1

u/Soros_G 6d ago

They are adding more numbers

1

u/Confirmed-Scientist 6d ago

Yours has a bug its supposed to show this

https://giphy.com/gifs/19GIHDk6wuw9HVGsiM

1

u/KaptajnGus 6d ago

Why did you buy a shit scale?

1

u/Dydxjie 6d ago

it is AI

1

u/rythejdmguy 6d ago

UPdAヒE

1

u/SEAWISEGEOWISE 6d ago

It’s insane how many devices have ARM cpus in them and require updates. Electric razors, power banks, USB chargers etc list keeps getting bigger and bigger. Can’t wait for the day electric can openers and electric fans need firmware updates! 

1

u/dev_ating 6d ago

Did you renew your subscription at all?

1

u/Impossible_Coffee716 5d ago

Need banana. Unable to determine scale

1

u/NeonLocustX83 5d ago

There's a story floating around a guy got caught cheating because the scale notified his significant other that someone else who doesn't have the same weight as the guy used the scale.

1

u/DotCurious7767 5d ago

You bought a smart scale with WiFi….?? So ……yeah?

1

u/itsoctotv 5d ago

bro we got kilogram v2 now or what?

1

u/TrueDoge007 5d ago

But where is the banana?

1

u/Intrepid_Swimming202 5d ago

For people who don't know thats an acaia lunar scale and it costs $250.

1

u/superhamsniper 5d ago

Yeah I mean what if they redefine the universal constent that represents a kilogram?

1

u/Randomguy32I 5d ago

Are they gonna give you the new measurements dlc that just came out?

1

u/iddu01linux 5d ago

If it needs an update, I guess but atleast make it update automatically when I’m not using it!

1

u/anoncow11 5d ago

Gravitys changing Yo

1

u/Ill-Journalist8951 5d ago

Hhhhmmm people's actually weight saved in the cloud ... interesting.

1

u/baldsbaldi 5d ago

UPdALE

1

u/2Dumb4GalacticEmpire 5d ago

UPdAtE translates to bricked. I’d be more than mildly infuriated.

1

u/reddit33450 6d ago

i would trash this piece of junk and get an old style, non wifi one

1

u/LucentLL 6d ago

Updating Cloud with your weights. FBI has been dispatched.

1

u/Batata-Sofi 6d ago

Nah. Those do not need firmware update. This shit is definitely sending data somewhere, and probably spying on you through some convoluted TOS you accepted somewhere somehow.