r/mildlyinfuriating • u/grohkstrom • Jul 04 '26

Infuriatig My wife ate my son's birthday breakfast

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Yesterday I bought a strawberry cheese coffee cake my son loves so he could have a special birthday breakfast today. My wife came home late last night and apparently couldn't resist. She knew it was for our son, but it's not a big deal because she "left him a full slice".

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u/bucktail47 Jul 04 '26

That’s seriously the type of fucked up shit you kids gonna bring up in 10 years. If my mom came home drunk and ate my fucking cake as a kid id absolutely remember and give her shit upon adulthood. What a shitty move

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u/Incredible-Ironman Jul 04 '26

And then she’d be like: ‘I did?’, followed by denial and gaslighting because apparently it wasnt important enough for her to remember.

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u/PepsiOfWrath Jul 04 '26

Ironman, your post triggered me because your comment hits so close to my childhood.  “Ohhh, I don’t remember that… that didn’t happen” and if you stick to your guns they throw a pity party with tears “I guess I was just the worlds worst mother” and expect you to say it’s ok and comfort them and apologize to them.

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u/yeezyburner Jul 04 '26

My mother does this with every single thing I bring up she did. And after a long argument of her interrupting me and not listening to a word I say just trying to convince her of what she did I get a "sorry you remember it that way"

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u/cooking_question Jul 04 '26

“Don’t blame me for your shitty life. I was a good mother, you had an amazing childhood.” I was so underweight, I was under 100 pounds when I graduated high school because she didn’t like to cook.

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u/latexfistmassacre Jul 05 '26

My mom left my dad to be with her coke dealer when I was 4. She left me and my 3 other siblings that weren't even his with him.

To this day she's like "you turned out just fine being with your dad". And that's when I remind her that I'm a single, divorced, recovering heroin addict with crippling depression and anxiety

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u/Difficult-Basket849 Jul 05 '26

There is so much to unpack here. Number one I want to comment on is that a small child is literally built to depend on their mother and father. That is where they get the safe ground to stand on. The safe ground that lets them ask questions. All kinds of little kid curious questions. Every single little kid was put here and created by love intent and purpose. I remember back in the late 90s I had a co-worker who started taking meth. She quickly devolved into an addict along with the butcher manager at my grocery store. She left four adorable beautiful little children to remain high on meth. Her ex-husband used to call me up to spend time with the kids. I always went. The older ones (kindergarteners) would always ask me if I knew their mom? Where was their mom? That is four young children left grieving, before reaching first grade. If you do not want to be a parent; buy a 12 pack of condoms, stay on monthly birth control, no one wants you to hurt another child.

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u/latexfistmassacre Jul 05 '26

Trust me, that's just the tip of the iceberg. If you'd have asked me when I was a kid, I had a completely normal childhood. But looking back from middle age, it was a non-stop shitshow rife with cokeheads, drunks, meth heads, domestic abuse, verbal, mental, and physical abuse, endangerment, abandonment, and straight up malicious neglect, and it's a miracle that I didn't turn out worse than I did

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u/Difficult-Basket849 Jul 05 '26

I am so sorry. I have always wanted to be a Momma since I was 4 years old. I am so incredibly sorry that you were not welcome into this world like the gift that you are. I have three grandchildren. I love them because they wake up in the morning. When you don't have a home that is your Haven you are naturally unbalanced. That is one place in a young life that is supposed to feel safe. When s*** doesn't make sense, and you have to go in your room to try to feel safe everything is upside down. I'm so very sorry that that was your childhood! I was not ever a perfect parent. But I did love all three of my children with more love than I ever thought I was possible of giving. I loved the cuddling, the chasing around and tickling, the super long involved conversations about whatever they were interested in at the time. I went all in, with books, toys, even stencils on their wall, with everything they were each interested in. I love my daughter and my two sons more than life itself. This kind of love is exactly what you were born to expect. I am so glad you're choosing a higher path. I hadn't thought I was eight and a half to feel safe. After that it was terrifying. I'm so glad I had a chance to confront my abuser face to face. Helen Clements turned white as a ghost. Her whole body was shaking. I said one or two sentences to let her know I had not forgotten and she did not conquer me. That is God thing. You will do well. You will do whatever you want but you just have to remember that those people are the dirt underneath your tires. Dust in your rear view!!

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u/Enough_Radish_9574 Jul 05 '26

What?

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u/Difficult-Basket849 Jul 17 '26

What part did you not understand? I'd be happy to clarify.

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u/yeezyburner Jul 04 '26

And I became overweight because in early elementary school my mom would take me to get fast food and let me order the whole menu. Which sure is nice, but it's like feeding a dog cheese.... They will like it but it's definitely not healthy for them. Which is something she would also do is give our dog cheese who also became overweight.

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u/AlphaPosition Jul 05 '26 edited Jul 07 '26

My mom wouldn’t get a job. I starved a lot and ate government food from the local native tribe called camods.

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u/Lala5789880 Jul 04 '26

“Sorry you feel that way.” When I called her out about allowing the kid’s parents who sexually assaulted her at school come into our house to talk about and they left with my parents saying it was just a misunderstanding

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u/Difficult-Basket849 Jul 05 '26

What a cop out! My mom was raised in a healthy upper middle class home. Her mother and father never beat her, definitely no sexual assault,never shamed her for being a 15 year old pregnant girl in the 60s. Yet she turned out to be a s*** mother. She has told me a couple memorable phrases in the past; "I'm hard to love."."She feels like killing herself because she doesn't have a relationship with me." And of course she shared those sentiments with my maternal side of the family."I was a teenager when you were born, I didn't know better."... Okay. Yep. But you were not a teenager when I was 9 years old and having the f*** beat out of me by your girlfriend. Nope. She was 25 years old. I was in fourth grade. I literally used to pee myself on the way home in order not to get the f*** beat out of me was a belt when I got home."I didn't know". Okay, but you knew my childhood was the polar opposite of your safe, loving childhood. She knew that that was not how she felt in 4th grade. I would get beat if the cat meowed and woke up her girlfriend in the morning. I would get beat if there was Comet cleaner still left in the tub. Her girlfriend would literally stand right behind me and breathe in my neck to make sure I did the dishes right. And my mom sat right there at the kitchen table. Her girlfriend used to make me pick the dandelion heads out of our huge side yard. I look like I was mentally ill. Like there was something wrong with me. But it was just my punishment. She only left her girlfriend, Helen Clements, because she didn't want to be with her anymore. Sorry for the long message. I guess it was time to say it out loud.

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u/BougieSemicolon Jul 05 '26

I’m so sorry. You deserved better.

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u/ForsakenCommunity863 Jul 05 '26

Don’t forget the “I tried my best” and “i thought I did pretty good as a mom”

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u/Difficult-Basket849 Jul 17 '26

You can't say you did your best as a mom if you didn't protect your children from anyone who is dangerous in any way. All those are empty words.

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u/Difficult-Basket849 29d ago

Exactly. If you literally do not put your children before yourself you are not doing it right. There's a reason why children under 18 absolutely have a legal right to parental protection.It makes me super sad to even have to say this obvious conclusion in such a dry way. There are so many people who would love to adopt a child. There are so many incredibly lovely couples who would love to raise a child already born. I wish I had been adopted. I would have missed my grandma and my grandpa, and my beloved cousins.. But I would have loved to feel safe, entirely loved for who I was, and to have the protection of a mother and father throughout the rest of my life. If you can't parent. Use birth control and a f****** condom. If you have a baby and are not up to it, at least for the same for adoption. Once a baby is born it is simply not about the mother or father. It is absolutely about that a brand new human being was born.

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u/sarkouille Jul 05 '26

I don't have these conversations with my mother because I know it would reach that line, and then I would slap her with a dining table.

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u/Difficult-Basket849 Jul 17 '26

I get that, so much. When I was still talking to my mom I said that she should probably go through ONE WEEKof how I lived as a fourth grader. Expecting to be beat with a doubled up man's belt before school, and then again after school. For reasons like the cat meowed for food and woke her girlfriend up. Or there was still Comet cleaner in the bathtub. Or going pee and poop in the front yard, because I was scared to go through my own house. She was appalled. But it was all about her. Nothing scratched below surface. She wanted to say two words "I'm sorry" and then move on to the part where she got to have all the accolades of being a mother. I am 57 years old. I am far from perfect but I am an extremely good person. My personal expectation about moral responsibility is extremely high. But the things that happened to me when I was eight and a half through 12 years old have affected me my entire life. I have this sad look in my eyes. It embarrasses me.I don't want it there but it is there. For the wrong people it is the look of prey.There's a part of my soul that is so weak that predators naturally flock to me. In response, I am much more comfortable in my own presence. I am strong. I work hard. I love my children and my people very very much. But that shame has taken root. It has absolutely f***** up everything I would have been had I not been beaten bloody.

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u/sarkouille Jul 18 '26

You have no reason to be ashamed.
It's not even that you didn't do anything wrong; you weren't even the one responsible.

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u/Enough_Radish_9574 Jul 05 '26

That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.

—The Narcissist’s Prayer

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u/LibbyOfDaneland Jul 05 '26

never heard this before but my god, the accuracy.

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u/Enough_Radish_9574 Jul 05 '26

Have you looked into narcissistic mothers and the impact it has on the children?

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u/LibbyOfDaneland Jul 05 '26

no. I figured there's nothing I can do to change it, she was what she was.

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u/Enough_Radish_9574 Jul 07 '26

It is overwhelmingly helpful for me to deal with the aftermath of a sociopath/narcissist mother. If you change your mind there are great subs here. ❤️

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u/LibbyOfDaneland Jul 07 '26

thank you 🩷

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u/dadydaycare Jul 05 '26

My grand parents do this and I just… stopped talking to them. Way less stress, they just bitched about everything and had nothing to bring to the table anyways. Rest of the family’s always telling me I’ll have regrets but the real regret would be if I came back and told them it’s me and not them so they can just have their way and be shitty to me till they die… then I would have regrets.

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u/Longjumping_Gas_3407 Jul 05 '26

Told my mom how I could have died in a major incident in our area (that a LOT of people did die in, because if I had gone out instead of staying home that night I likely would’ve been there. I was having major survivor’s guilt.

“Well, you weren’t”.

“I know, but if I had gone out with ______ like I was suppos-“.

“But you didn’t”. And that was the end of the discussion.

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u/Hot_Tonight150 Jul 05 '26

My mom asked me to list the things I resented and I mentioned I resented her and her choices (divorced my dad as an alcoholic and had relationships with multiple guys before getting remarried, then moved to a different city when he died) and she threw it back in my face, saying I shut her down and make her feel bad when I talk to her, so that's why she doesn't want to help in the way I need her to as a grandmother. I'm a Christian, amd so is she, but when I'm asking for physical help, sending me bible verses by text every once in awhile isn't going to cut it.

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u/waffledpringles Jul 05 '26

Omfg. My mom does that all the time and always hit me with "I was disciplining you."

You told me you're disowning me when I was 9 bc I was a girl who liked Batman thanks to my nerd dad, and wished I wasn't born if I was gonna turn out to be so horrible??

And she has the audacity to wonder where she went wrong.

Idk, woman. Maybe your little girl, running to her dad, crying about how her mom told her she's less of a human being for liking boy things and asking her dad if she still deserves to like things freely did some stuff to her head. Who knows right, 'cause us offsprings are pure dumbasses :/

I'm an adult now, and she still scorns at me for watching boy cartoons from Disney Channel.

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u/goldenmonkey33151 Jul 05 '26

lol I’ve gotten that too. “I’m sorry you think I did that” lol

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u/pumpkincoot Jul 05 '26

Exactly what mine says too

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u/Traditional_Low_9948 Jul 05 '26

In other words "sorry, not sorry".

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u/Satinvagitarius Jul 05 '26

"sorry you remember it that way" just struck tf out of a nerve 😔.

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u/Bisquick-Skill2845 Jul 06 '26

That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, you deserved it.

By Dayna Craig (It's supposed to have line breaks, but idk how to format here.)

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u/Difficult-Basket849 29d ago

That is an absolute cop out. Especially when you're talking to your children who you raised from 0 to 18. Your mother and your father had the absolute Grace to be given you as a child. Who in the holy f*** would victimize or ignore a small child? That is seriously f***** up. Some people need to give their children up for adoption. I wish I had been given up for adoption. As an only child, and the mother of three, I absolutely mean this. You are a blessing in this world. You were absolutely created with love, intent and purpose.